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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

if i take our dcs to a wedding reception when officially it's no kids?

198 replies

happyhat · 15/08/2007 14:59

we're only invited to the evening do, it's miles away and i'm b/feeding ds who's only 3 months old. ds is 2.5 years. i'm thinking they'll sleep in buggies in a corner?

OP posts:
Meeely2 · 15/08/2007 15:02

if it was my wedding and i had specified no kids i was be pissed if some turned up, sorry....

louii · 15/08/2007 15:02

unreasonable, sorry

bosslady · 15/08/2007 15:03

Are any children invited at all? The reason i ask is other parents might not be amused if they have had to get sitters and then you turn up with your children! Cant you feed your baby before you go then express some for the next feed! I can also say i very much doubt they will sleep in a corner i thought my children would but not a chance they got crabby and tired and i had to take them home!!

madamez · 15/08/2007 15:03

If you know the bride and groom (or one of them) well, then ring up and ask and they might say yes. But there might be all sorts of very good reasons why the event is childfree - the venue, for one as some places have an absolutely total no-children policy.

ANd, sorry, but it is rude and unreasonable just to turn up with your kids when you've been specifically told an event is child-free.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 15/08/2007 15:03

The height of bad manners.

EscapeFrom · 15/08/2007 15:03

Unreasonable. Would also be unreasonable of the married couple to gripe when you tell them you can't attend for that reason - but you really cannot take them, it would be rude.

oliveoil · 15/08/2007 15:04

unreasonable

but imo they are unreasonable also, who has a wedding and decrees no children? only freaks imo

but iirc this has been done to death

I predict 387 posts by the end of play today.

whiskeyandbeer · 15/08/2007 15:06

there wedding,their day, their rules.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 15/08/2007 15:07

Freak and proud of it.....

harleyd · 15/08/2007 15:07

unreasonable

bosslady · 15/08/2007 15:07

is it not the couples choice who they invite to there wedding? We went to one without children and it was really good not having to worry about where your kids are and what there up to its nice to go out as a couple for a change and relax!!

EachPeachPearPlum · 15/08/2007 15:07

I would have thought taking the baby would be ok if you're breastfeeding, but not the 2 year old. You should definitely ask first though. As others have mentioned it could put them in a difficult situation if you just turn up with him/them.

Desiderata · 15/08/2007 15:08

Unreasonable.

If there's no way around it, I think you'd better stay home.

Blu · 15/08/2007 15:08

Reasonable to take the bf-ing 3 month-old, having explained to the B&G that you have no choice as bf-ing - and offering to not go if they can't hack it - unreasonable to take 2.5 yr old, who will be v unlikely to sleep in buggy, and will tear about being over-excited. If typical of most 2.5 yo, anyway!

Baffy · 15/08/2007 15:09

I would call and ask about the possibility of you taking the youngest seeing as you are bf. Most guests would be sympathetic to that. And the bride and groom should be (hopefully).

I think you need to find a babysitter for the 2.5 year old though.

Chickhick · 15/08/2007 15:09

I wouldn't bother going.

Lizzylou · 15/08/2007 15:10

I understand your dilemna but if they have specified no children then you must respect that. Perhaps ring them and explain why you'd need to bring your DC's if you do attend?
My BF had her wedding at a castle in Scotland where there were no children allowed, I was a bit shocked tbh but when I got there understood completely, it would have been a nightmare chasing DS1 around.

WanderingTrolley · 15/08/2007 15:11

Yes you should bring them - how dare your friends not invite your children!

Simply ask the bride to set aside a corner for your nursery (she'll probably have time to do this before the ceremony) and ask her to provide a cot, a comfy chair and soft lighting. If she's any kind of friend she'll get you a nanny too, and someone to breastfeed your baby. And make sure she knows that there must be complete silence so your dc's can sleep - brides can be so selfish!

Do hope this helps.

Aimsmum · 15/08/2007 15:11

Message withdrawn

Bluestocking · 15/08/2007 15:12

The venue may not allow any children - I was at a private party at a nightclub recently, a couple arrived with a three-day old baby and after a lot of persuading, the doorman allowed them in to say hello to the birthday girl, but then they had to leave.

ArtistFormerlyKnownAsSOH · 15/08/2007 15:12

My cousin got married this year and had a 'no children' policy. I also have a 3 month old bf dd (8wks at the time) and phoned her to politely decline the invitation. She was aghast that I thought the 'no children' policy meant a bf baby too. She was avoiding the toddler age range I think as the wedding was exceedingly posh and the venue imposed the rules about mess and 'touching of artefacts' (stately home type place). Could you phone and see how strict they are being?

Definitely don't just turn up though.

totaleclipse · 15/08/2007 15:12

pmsl

flowerybeanbag · 15/08/2007 15:12

at WT.

YABU I'm afraid, it's their wedding. Would have been nice if they had been able to accommodate bf babies, so might be worth a polite enquiry about that, but definitely not 2.5 yo.

madamez · 15/08/2007 15:13

Given that you're only invited to the evening do, it doesn't sound like your that close to either bride or groom anyway. So it's no big deal if you don't go. Appreciate it's difficult if you're BFing a baby and it's probably worth asking politely if you can bring the baby, but a 2.5 year old is a bit much to inflict on a child-free event (which may well be in a nightclub or somewhere else totally unsuitable for a todler to go).

GooseyLoosey · 15/08/2007 15:14

Unreasonable. If they don't want children, they don't want them. I didn't want them at my wedding either (mean I know!). Don't go to the reception if you can't leave the dcs.