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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has left my bag at home.

217 replies

blackwych · 18/10/2019 21:39

We are on weekend break. We have only just arrived after a ridiculous long detour because DH is a slave to the satnav. He unpacked the car, I said 'Where's the rucksack?' and he said 'What rucksack?' It has my hairbrush, medication, books, phone charger, toothbrush, earplugs, mascara, deodorant etc etc.. It wouldn't all fit in the suitcase. The suitcase contains nothing but damp clothes. Would I be unreasonable to kill him?

OP posts:
woodchuck99 · 19/10/2019 08:56

Ignore all the people telling you to do without your medication or go to a GP or hospital. Just go to the nearest chemist and explain what has happened.They will probably give you an emergency supply. You will have to pay for it but it will probably be less than the cost of driving home and certainly less hassle.

Belfield · 19/10/2019 08:59

If it was your DH job to put all the bags in the car then it was his fault. All this checking he did it right, your bag, your responsibility talk is the reason men are so useless. If you work and have kids, there is simply no time or energy to be rechecking jobs assigned to a functioning adult.

quietheart · 19/10/2019 09:00

YABU, why would you not check your own bag had been packed, even by someone else? I know someone like you who did actually make her DP drive the 2 hours home to get her bag that he forgot. Though she is a diva and she would never be so disorganised to have damp clothes.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/10/2019 09:01

If it’s stuff I need - ie contacts - pill - dd inhaler etc then I would always make sure it’s with me /in car etc before we leave

Can’t blame dh

adaline · 19/10/2019 09:02

If you work and have kids, there is simply no time or energy to be rechecking jobs assigned to a functioning adult

OP hasn't even mentioned children in her post.

But again, if you have medication and other necessities that you need to take with you, then it's your responsibility to make sure you have it, surely? Why isn't OP responsible for her own belongings?

54321go · 19/10/2019 09:03

He did not leave the bag at home, You did.
Take responsibility for your own msitakes.

54321go · 19/10/2019 09:04

Mistakes obviously, this ttread is so silly.

CAG12 · 19/10/2019 09:06

In my household its kind of a joint job, or whoever gets to it first.

HOWEVER, im also aware which bags have important stuff in. Before we leave im always ask if xxxx bag was packed.

I think probably taking a bit of responsibility for yourself will you out in the future.

Also packing damp clothes is bonkers.

AChickenCalledDaal · 19/10/2019 09:07

Are me and the op really the only people that have ever ended up taking damp clothes on holiday? I always end up doing a mega load of washing before a holiday and sometimes have had to take stuff that's still a bit damp. Life's busy and we're not all perfect.

And yeah, we have the "pile it in the hall and one person loads" system. The kids camping blankets were left inexplicably behind one time. And yes, it was annoying.

maddiemookins16mum · 19/10/2019 09:10

The Op could be being entirely reasonable if her DH was the one who was due to put all bags etc in the car.

Babdoc · 19/10/2019 09:10

I haven’t read the whole thread, but I assume they have shops where you’re staying. Simply ask the nearest pharmacist for a three day emergency prescription of your regular meds, and buy some replacement toiletries and a good book. Problem solved.
I’ve had to do this with DD, who ran out of antidepressants on holiday.

phoenixrosehere · 19/10/2019 09:15

All my necessities stay with me regardless if it is a road trip or a plane trip and the same goes for our children. My husband eyerolls but I don’t trust him not to forget something because our view of what is essential or necessary differs. He packs the car usually, but there are times I will because he tends to take forever to do so, yet wants to be out of the house at a certain time 🙄.

KUGA · 19/10/2019 09:17

Sadly its illegal to kill him. Can you imagine how many dh/dps would be a gonner if it was legal.
On the other hand surely you should have checked before setting off.

adaline · 19/10/2019 09:22

The Op could be being entirely reasonable if her DH was the one who was due to put all bags etc in the car.

Maybe the rucksack wasn't with all the other bags? Maybe he thought she'd put it in the car already? Maybe it fell off the pile and was forgotten? Maybe he thought he'd packed it?

Ultimately OP is the one who is missing her bag which has all her essentials in it, including her medication. If what was in the bag is that vital, she needs to make 100% sure it's in the car with her, surely?

HolyChickpea · 19/10/2019 09:25

DP and I always both do a final sweep of the house before leaving to check we haven't forgotten any bags or coats etc and the doors are locked. That way we can't blame each other!

JustDanceAddict · 19/10/2019 09:25

I can see how this can happen though.
Dh always packs car but I check that it’s all there (ie nothing left in hall)- he sometimes says ‘is This for taking’ if it’s a plastic bag but it’ll prob have food for journey.
If you get in car first then no-one is checking (and kids would t say anything).
So I’d say you’re both responsible tbh as it’s an important bag, you need to check it’s in.

BustedDreams · 19/10/2019 09:38

I feel your pain. Over the years we have a few similar mishaps. One short break my weekend bag was left at home. We managed and I did see the funny side. Looked a bit swamped in my husbands cloths.

Another time oh forgot to pack his pants Shock again we managed and he wore my Bridget’s Grin

CampingItUp · 19/10/2019 09:41

It sounds as if the rucksack was being used as personal had baggage / substitute handbag.

When we are packing up these don’t get put in the boot but stay with the owner. Maybe your DH thought you were picking it up to keep with you in the front?

I hope you got everything sorted one way or another OP, and will enjoy your weekend.

CampingItUp · 19/10/2019 09:45

I remember arriving at my parents fir Christmas and DH had packed a sack of rubbish left by the door to go in the bin.

Luckily we also had the presents.

TatianaLarina · 19/10/2019 09:45

But if I'm going on holiday and know I need to take essentials with me (medication, tampons, whatever it might be) I wouldn't hold DH responsible for remembering them

She, didn’t hold him responsible for remembering them, merely to put the bag with them in in the car.

Zaphodsotherhead · 19/10/2019 09:48

Not exactly the same, but when XH and I took our 5 kids to Wales for a week's holiday, he'd booked the accommodation (first time ever, I normally did EVERYTHING). He hadn't double checked what equipment we needed to bring.

Bathed all five in together after a long, tiring drive. No towels. Had to dry them all with a combination of clothes and tea towels (which were, oddly enough, provided).

Off to nearest ASDA next morning, him very bewildered and saying 'but I thought everywhere provided towels!' in a hurt way.

Lowlandlucky · 19/10/2019 09:49

Your medication is your responsibility.

Ivory200 · 19/10/2019 09:50

If you go to a pharmacy and give the pharmacist permission, they might agree to access your medical records and issue a prescription. You will end up paying full price. Happened to me once, saved a ruined weekend (would have had to go home, as life preserving mess were left behind).

Pinkypurple35 · 19/10/2019 09:53

It all sounds a bit disorganised tbh.
Damp clothes?? Hope you’re going somewhere with a dryer.
Even with dumping bags in one place and husband packing I still see it as your responsibility to check it’s been packed (as it’s important to you)

Proseccoinamug · 19/10/2019 09:54

Pharmacy can give you emergency supply. Either that or you need to see a GP as a temporary resident