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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has left my bag at home.

217 replies

blackwych · 18/10/2019 21:39

We are on weekend break. We have only just arrived after a ridiculous long detour because DH is a slave to the satnav. He unpacked the car, I said 'Where's the rucksack?' and he said 'What rucksack?' It has my hairbrush, medication, books, phone charger, toothbrush, earplugs, mascara, deodorant etc etc.. It wouldn't all fit in the suitcase. The suitcase contains nothing but damp clothes. Would I be unreasonable to kill him?

OP posts:
Lulualla · 18/10/2019 21:58

@bookwormsforever

But if your husband is packing the car, you must tell him which bags you are taking it have a designated spot by the door where all bags are put and he will take them to the car. This guy didn't even know there was a rucksack. He can't pack it if he doesn't know about it.

Original poster
blackwych · 18/10/2019 21:58

Damp clothes because when I got home from work they still weren't dry so I just had to take them. DH always packs the car and as the rucksack was with all the other bags I assumed it had been packed. Am contemplating a 2 hour drive home to get it. I could go and buy a hairbrush etc but not the medication.

OP posts:
Nondescriptname · 18/10/2019 21:59

I wish I stopped picking guys who can't fend for themselves, maybe then I'd have time to look after myself
They can fend for themselves but why should they bother if you're happy to baby them?

Damp clothes? I'd guess they're newly washed and op planned to dry them on arrival. Is that it?

Blahblahblahnanana · 18/10/2019 22:00

You can get emergency medication by contacting Nhs 111. They can arrange a prescription to be sent to the nearest pharmacy.

Bluntness100 · 18/10/2019 22:01

How did you not notice it was still with the other bags? And if it was with them how did he not see it?

DianaT1969 · 18/10/2019 22:04

You don't sound as if you like him much. Is he to blame for the damp clothes too? Didn't put them in the dryer, or washed them a day before the trip on a rainy day because he's shit at planning?
Will he be driving 2 hours there are back on his own while you run a relaxing bath?

roses2 · 18/10/2019 22:04

The responses are a little harsh! The bag was with all other bags to be packed.

You are not being unreasonable to be furious. I would be too!

Original poster
blackwych · 18/10/2019 22:05

TheAnnoyingSatsuma I have searched the car twice as I just couldn't believe it! The 'dump your bags in the hall and let DH pack the car' method has never failed before, although we have had to turn round and go back for things he's suddenly remembered on previous occasions.Grin

OP posts:
bookwormsforever · 18/10/2019 22:07

Hold on, @Lulualla, why do you think that? The op didn’t mention bags until after your post, then she said her rucksack was in the pile to be packed.

I do not think op was being u to expect her h to pack a bag that was in the packing pile...

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 18/10/2019 22:08

Would I be unreasonable to kill him?

If the lack of medication is the only thing stopping you, then no 😆

Iggly · 18/10/2019 22:09

I always double check when DH packs the car because I don’t want to have anything left behind.

You have to take responsibility for your own medication - that’s on you to remember.

Mollpop · 18/10/2019 22:10

Just buy some more stuff

xyzandabc · 18/10/2019 22:10

If it makes you feel any better, as a family group of 11, my suitcase got left at home in the packing fiasco. I spent 2 weeks in Canada dressed from Walmart. Luckily it was summer so shorts, t shirts and flip flops were fine if a bit frumpy!

If you can survive without the medication, just dry the clothes overnight and you'll survive.

PriscillaTheHun · 18/10/2019 22:12

I had this. My suitcase was too heavy for me so I left it in the bedroom and DH said he'd pack it while I was sorting out DC's.

When everyone was in the car and everything packed, I went back into the house to do a final check (doors and windows locked, taps all turned off, lights off etc). I go into the bedroom to check the taps are off in the en-suite - and there's my suitcase still sat in the bedroom!

DH had forgotten to go back for it!

My advice to you is to always do what I do and do that final check in future.

Beamur · 18/10/2019 22:13

My DH did this last year. He survived. But we had a tense few hours until I sourced some contact lens fluids.

Lulualla · 18/10/2019 22:13

@bookwormsforever

The OP said in her first post that when she asked him he said "what rucksack". So he hasn't been told there was a rucksack.
When you want someone else to put your bags in a car, yoh tell them what bags you're taking.

What do you mean she didn't mention bags until after my post? This whole thing us about bags. He packed one case but not the other, and he said he didn't know about the other. The OP didn't explain in her first post whether or not they had a designated spot for all the luggage or whether she had told which bags where going. I worked with the information she gave and from her first post, the obvisou answer is "it's your bag so it's your job to make sure it's in the car".

Mephisto · 18/10/2019 22:13

I would never rely on DH to pack all my stuff (and he wouldn't rely on me). We both travel for work and are anal about remembering suitcases, laptop bags etc.

However, I quite like that the man carries the mental load in a thread for a change.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 18/10/2019 22:15

I would hang the damp clothes up to dry, drive the two hours home (the quick way, not the sat nav way) then sleep at home and go back tomorrow morning. I've had to do this before because I would be very ill without my meds.

Span1elsRock · 18/10/2019 22:15

You sound very disorganised OP, tbh.........

SpeckledyHen · 18/10/2019 22:16

As I said to my sons when they were teenagers GET YOURSELF ORGANISED :) Damp clothes !? If I needed medication I wouldn’t rely on any one else .

MsTSwift · 18/10/2019 22:18

We had two pull alongs for a long weekend one with all adult kit one with all kids. Dh didn’t pack the kids one for some reason we realised after arriving in rural wales. Fortunately we were with friends with same age and gender kids who are notorious over packers

Lindy2 · 18/10/2019 22:21

Most of the stuff that's left behind you could probably buy. The medication is the tricky one. Can you manage without it? Can you buy over the counter alternatives? If you call 111 they can probably get you a prescription.

We went camping once and DH forgot to put the sleeping bags in the car. Luckily the campsite was quite close to a friend's house and they lent us some duvets.

I tend to do most of the packing and DH does the lugging of the bags from the hallway to the car. He likes to arrange them to his liking into the boot. I tend to just lib them in. It works for us. I can understand how you would expect your DH to put your rucksack into the car if it was with other bags he was loading into the car.
Try not to let it ruin your break.

Loveislandaddict · 18/10/2019 22:22

Find a late night pharmacy. They should be able to give you an emergency supply of meds, or go first thing in the morning if you don’t need any tonight.

BlueCornsihPixie · 18/10/2019 22:23

Realistically though OP it's you whose forgotten your rucksack.

Surely even using the dump in the hall method you check everything's not in the hall when you leave. A rucksack as important as containing your meds I'd expect you to be in charge of tbh

Why on earth did you pack damp clothes? Did you wash all your clothes at once?

I guess it depends how much you are going to enjoy the weekend without your medication really. If they are pain killers for example you are just going to be in pain all weekend without them which is pointless

ColdCottage · 18/10/2019 22:23

I'd be cross too. It's a team effort going away in our house.

I pack for me and the children and leave all our bags by door or top of the stairs. My husband puts them in the car while I sort out drinks and snack for the journey and usually rush out of the door.

I trust my husband to pick up all the bags (I will have told him where they are) so if he left one behind I'd be annoyed too.

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