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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
LovePoppy · 14/10/2019 13:02

You’ve allowed her to pay af the end of the month.

She told you shed pay at the end.

She thinks you’re stealing her interest on the money.

Why on earth did you agree to buy her lunch Friday? Why can you not just order for everyone but her?

londonrach · 14/10/2019 13:02

Sorry did i read that she didnt pay back the full amount. Op..be strong here..dont order for her again

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 14/10/2019 13:03

Well done OP! Hold firm on advance payment in future though!

MouthyHarpy · 14/10/2019 13:04

on closer inspection she has only paid the £24, so she still owes me £11 for this month

She is trying to make a point. What a nasty person. She's a sulky bully.

Your point will be: order for everyone except her unless she pays you straightaway.

Or just leave her out of the Friday treat altogether for the future.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 14/10/2019 13:05

(oh arse, I didn't see there was a further page to this and that she'd only part-paid.)

You know what you have to do OP.

NoSquirrels · 14/10/2019 13:06

The others will use their waitressing tips for something else, don't sweat that. Easier on everyone if they can bank transfer.

I only suggest by 9am the Friday morning because if CF cannot do online banking from anywhere but home (or will CLAIM that) then it's too easy for her to "forget" and at lunchtime still want to order. The night before makes it a hard deadline.

If she kicks up a fuss, I'd VERY KINDLY offer her the option of paying in advance for her lunch order for the month all in one go Grin

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 13:06

@BuzzShitbagBobbly can you imagine? I wouldn't get in trouble for putting it on here would I? This thread has got a little out of control so it's not impossible that she'll have seen it.

@MouthyHarpy Yes I think she is trying to make a point too. So petty!

OP posts:
MadameButterface · 14/10/2019 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 13:08

@NoSquirrels Yes I have just brought it up and everyone's agreed to bank transfer if it's easier for me.B has said to me on previous occasions that she doesn't have online banking so I'll ask her to set up a PayPal or something for future use. I wonder how she paid it in today?

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 14/10/2019 13:10

I'd just tell her she could set me up a standing order Grin

"B, I know you prefer to pay monthly, so I think the best thing is if you pay me every month on 15th for the month in advance. Would you like to set up a standing order to my bank account, or PayPal?"

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 13:10

you can just go chong a dong you lil charmer you

I am going to adopt this phrase into my vocabulary. It works in so many ways. Dog whining at me for dinner? "you can just go chong a dong you lil charmer you", OH whinging that I spend too much time on Mumsnet "you can just go chong a dong you lil charmer you"... random poster attacking you on your thread on Mumsnet about being on Mumsnet... "you can just go chong a dong you lil charmer you". Brilliant, thanks @MadameButterface!

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 14/10/2019 13:11

(HR) has advised that it might be a good idea that we stop the lunches going forward

A wise suggestion, IMO. It's your choice to make of course, but since CF's now trying to make a point about paying at the month's end, this isn't going to go away any time soon

Why prolong the agony?

coconutpie · 14/10/2019 13:12

START A NEW THREAD OP!!!

This one is about to get filled up .... close to 1,000 posts now.

MadameButterface · 14/10/2019 13:12

I wasn’t talking to you amelia love, calm your tits. There’s nearly 1000 posts on this thread and they’re not all by you despite your heroic use of company time Wink

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 13:13

START A NEW THREAD OP!!!

OK, I know exactly what to call it...

OP posts:
WhoArtinHeaven · 14/10/2019 13:13

This thread is AMAZING!!!

everytimerickysayscuntIlaugh · 14/10/2019 13:13

I wouldn't feel bad about their waitressing tips op. They can put them into their bank themselves.

MadameButterface · 14/10/2019 13:14

Why prolong the agony?

Why indeed, there’s a simple solution right here but no one ever spawned a multi thread saga with pom poms and limericks and shit from just doing the simple obvious sensible thing did they now

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 13:16

@MadameButterface I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, but it's really making me laugh.

New thread here people:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3717348-You-can-just-go-chong-a-dong-you-lil-charmer-you-Lunch-Dramas

OP posts:
MadameButterface · 14/10/2019 13:18

Oh my days i am honoured 😂

Biscuitsdisappear · 14/10/2019 13:20

She isn't worried about your feelings so just tell her that she is not included anymore.

ffswhatnext · 14/10/2019 13:25

I think B is posting on this thread lol.

Her logic though Grin Can just see her at home putting all money for specific things in little bundles, well apart from lunch money.

If she pulled the but you don't pay the card until.....
I would remind her that once the money is yours you can do as you wish. As long as you pay the bill it doesn't matter if it's that particular money or money sitting in your bank.

Although if that's how she thinks, makes me wonder if she has to explain every single little spend. Or she genuinely has no clue about how money works.

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 13:27

B /Madam has found your thread, OP, and is trying to merail it till it's full. Just don't respond.

Since HR invited it, I'd probably stop the lunches and use one of the suggested messages to all.

Blatherskite · 14/10/2019 13:28

Only paying for last month is a MASSIVE fuck you! She's telling you that she's still going to use you as a interest free credit card and she's going to carry on only paying you at the last moment - if at all.

I would NOT be having that

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 13:33

'calm your tits' is such a cunt thing to say someone and says more about the person posting it than the OP.

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