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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
GettingABitDesperateNow · 11/10/2019 12:20

You have spoken to her about it lots individually it's not like you've tried to embarrass her in front of everyone first time round.

I cant believe she ordered from you again though or you let her! She doesnt pay you why would you increase her debt?

I think you're going to have to stop doing it, for everyone, or impose a 'pay before you order rule' as if you let everyone or anyone else owe you money but not her she will accuse you of bullying and singling her out. I'd be inclined to write off the 24 quid, explain to everyone that you wont be doing it any more as you are out of pocket and forget the whole thing

MulticolourMophead · 11/10/2019 12:21

Agree, tell B to pay up.

Don't fall for the tears, and if anyone accuses you of bullying, just reply that you can't afford to be out of pocket by £24 (plus whatever she has ordered today).

Windydaysuponus · 11/10/2019 12:21

Go for your lunch alone. They aren't your friends.
Just users.
Back to a working relationship imo.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 11/10/2019 12:21

They wouldn’t of starved, they can go out and buy a sandwich meal deal or order from the normal place at full price. Why are you being a doormat??? FFS woman up

As for B she’s a cheeky bitch, she ordered and ate the food of course you shouldn’t be out of pocket. She will never pay you

Next week say you’ve forgotten the card.....

Ellisandra · 11/10/2019 12:22

I do not understand why you keep a petty cash tin and can’t cope with not spending the money.

You know you can pay the credit card off at any time, right?

So if someone transfers money to you, transfer the same to the card on the same day.

Like others, I have no idea why you allowed B to order today, having done the hard part. So that’s £30 she owes you now?

I get why you used the card today, as some people wouldn’t have brought lunch in. But just tell them all that you hate having to chase money, and don’t want to be out of pocket, so that’s it - no more.

RolyRolyRolyPoly · 11/10/2019 12:23

You can let the others use it but ask for upfront money before you order. So they all give you their cash or transfer the money to you before lunch (they could always find out how much it is beforehand). That way, whomever hasn't paid doesn't get food ordered. Or you could let B know you can't order for her on credit anymore till she pays, while the others can still use it since they pay you.

She's cheeky even mentioning the time you have to pay back! What does that matter? Are you a lending company?! Frankly I would cut B off the lunch order entirely, ungrateful twat!

Teddybear45 · 11/10/2019 12:23

I agree that you need to stop ordering her food. Just don’t let her do it and everytime she cries or makes a scene remind the rest of the money she owes you.

pjmask · 11/10/2019 12:24

No good deed goes unpunished

You beat me to it!

MoveOnTheCards · 11/10/2019 12:25

I don’t understand why you either couldn’t just order for you and those who pay you back promptly, or just let everyone sort out their own lunch, either from this place or elsewhere?!

Why do you feel responsible for making sure people ‘don’t go without’? It appears this is a great option for lunch, not the only option?

Ellisandra · 11/10/2019 12:25

Oh and I’d be going to your line manager, and letting them know about the crying, in case B for Bitch tries to officially complain about bullying.

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:25

They wouldn’t of starved, they can go out and buy a sandwich meal deal or order from the normal place at full price. Why are you being a doormat??? FFS woman up

It's not actually any of their faults though, everyone else pays on the day so I did feel bad stopping them all from using it without any notice. We only get half hour for lunch and our office isn't near any shops etc/some of them don't drive and instead get picked up/dropped off by their OH etc. I genuinely didn't expect B to order anything given her little outburst.

OP posts:
EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 11/10/2019 12:25

There’s the unpleasantness, you being out of pocket and now an accusation of bullying. You need to front this and get it sorted once and for all.

Speak up about Lunch Club, set ground rules. Everyone who wants the benefit of your discount must pay in full by X of the month, all arrears must be paid by (your choice) and we move on.

Also one time to everyone that any accusation of bullying is out of order, ask who thinks it’s fair that you offer your discount, getting free delivery and are out of pocket for doing so and then made to look like the bad guy? Stand firm on that.

Irisloulou · 11/10/2019 12:27

I would say to everyone, “I’m really sorry about the upset this morning.
I dont want fall out over lunch, but I don’t not want to be £30 down or having to ask everyday. I think I’ll bow out of the arrangement going forward. Or if anyone else wants to take over with their credit card, I’m happy to do that.”

Stops you being the awkward one, I’m doubting anyone else wants to sub her either.
Then I’d ask her every single day for what she owes.

Pinkypurple35 · 11/10/2019 12:27

She’s taking the piss, you say you feel bullied into buying her lunch now due to her little drama queen outburst. The brass neck of some folks. Send an email around saying next week it’s pay upfront or you can’t place the order. B needs to pay herself up to date too.

purplecorkheart · 11/10/2019 12:27

Do not order for B
Tell everyone that they need to pay in advance, no exceptions. They need to do it online ideally. If you have not received payment by 12.30 you will not place an order for them.

WickedLemon · 11/10/2019 12:29

Had the food arrived yet?

Stop being such a fucking mug.

Grab B’s food when it arrives and tell her “you owe me £30, you’re not having any more food from me”.

Fucking hell - its not hard.

whiteroseredrose · 11/10/2019 12:29

I'm shocked at the brass neck of B!! Going forward I'd not give them the card but do the order yourself. Pre warn B on Weds /Thu that she needs to pay for previous lunches and bring money for this one. Otherwise no order for her. Any trouble then suggest a colleague pays you back for her. You're not a charity.

Howlovely · 11/10/2019 12:29

Oh my God, the cheek of her! I'm irrationally cross about this! How dare she claim that you are bullying her? That's a very serious and dreadful accusation. And on what grounds? You asked her to pay for her own lunch? Nobody will think you're the unreasonable one here, she is quite clearly taking the piss. I just don't know how she isn't ashamed of herself.
It isn't in my nature to do this, and it sounds like it's not in yours either but I think you just have to keep repeating, "Sorry B, no I can't use my credit card to order your lunch again because you still owe me for last month, plus the interest it's accrued". Definitely do not let her forget about this. Why on earth isn't she just transferring you the money? Cheeky article.

RuggerHug · 11/10/2019 12:30

I'd say to her that you won't embarrass her by including her in the order since she obviously can't afford it. You'll do her a favour and make it seem like she's just changed her mind/gone off whatever food it is and will be bringing her own in from now on. However, she will have to pay for what she's already had. Would a payment plan work better since she's struggling?

BumbleBeee69 · 11/10/2019 12:30

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Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:30

@Ellisandra

I do not understand why you keep a petty cash tin and can’t cope with not spending the money

Most people pay me in cash, I would have to go to the bank every time they paid me if I wanted to pay off the credit card as I went along which would be more hassle. The way I do it, I only need to go to the bank once a month and then the Direct Debit comes out of my account without me doing anything.

OP posts:
CheshireChat · 11/10/2019 12:30

Just say it's easier for you to get bank transfers- seriously, most people have online banking and it takes no time whatsoever, way easier than remembering to draw cash.

AhNowTed · 11/10/2019 12:30

It's irrelevant and none of their business when you need the pay the card. The idea that you're spending their money before you need to pay it is ludicrous. Your first mistake was saying this to B, who's obviously the give her an inch and she takes a mile type.

You lend someone money and you're always the bad guy for having the temerity to want it back.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 11/10/2019 12:30

She's behaving appallingly.

But I'm interested in what the lunch is and how to get 30% discount and six weeks credit terms.

Grin
Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:31

@BumbleBeee69

What a helpful comment, thank you.

OP posts:
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