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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
EL2019 · 14/10/2019 12:25

Wow! Wonder if she’s a Mumsnetter and found this thread!

BarrenFieldofFucks · 14/10/2019 12:25

All of it?

Ms82 · 14/10/2019 12:26

Was it for the full amount op?

custardbear · 14/10/2019 12:27

Her lifestyle sounds suspiciously like my ex-SIL ... who was also a cheeky fucker and had everyone paying for at least something (daddy pays for the car and rent, boyfriend pays for the horses, ex pay for the school fees and dogs ... she didn't earn much and got everyone else to pay pretty much everything for her ... perhaps it's her Wink

custardbear · 14/10/2019 12:28

Blooody hell !! Just seen your update - be strong now - either no lunches for her, or she pays up front and if not, no lunch

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 12:28

Don't suppose she added extra for interest?!!

Unfortunately not, and on closer inspection she has only paid the £24, so she still owes me £11 for this month.

I'm definitely going to say to her tomorrow that she can only order this week if she pays me the £11 for the 4th and 11th Oct plus the money for this Friday upfront.

OP posts:
Motoko · 14/10/2019 12:28

I'm glad you've got your money back.

I bet she'll have the money ready to pay you on Friday, as she won't want to miss out on the Friday lunches. She knew that if she wanted to carry on getting lunch with the rest, she'd have to pay what she owed. Doubt she'll go as far as apologising though!

Motoko · 14/10/2019 12:29

Oh, cross posted. Yes, don't let her order on Friday, unless she's also paid the rest.

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 12:30

Way to go! NO MORE ORDERING FOR HER unless she pays in advance.

billy1966 · 14/10/2019 12:32

Well done OP for getting it back.

However, who knew the cost of a reputation was as little as GBP 35🙄.

custardbear · 14/10/2019 12:32

What an absolute tosser! She's paid you last month only, and thinks it's ok to accrue a debt in your name ... fucking bitxh! Tell her straight, she doesn't get a month credit for free she pays before she eats or she sorts her own lunch out - it's all her
Doing and it's cheeky fuckery

Seriously, do something nice for somebody and they take the bloody piss them turn it all around so it's your problem and your fault and 'you don't need the money TIL ... when the balance is due ... ' that's seriously not her affair she needs to pay when you say so or FO

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 12:32

Yeah, she's being a PA bitch about this. There's another thread on this how a CFer continually tries to skive out of paying full amounts. The OP called her on it and sold her £35 to someone else as she refused to pay the full amount. Do not thank her or apologise when telling her she's still due you £11 and you will no longer order for her in advance.

NearlyGranny · 14/10/2019 12:32

Result! So now you have the funds, send a one word thanks to her by text and then on Friday, YOU place the order, keeping the card in your hands, and don't include her until she has popped the cash in your tin or transferred it to you account.

Fair's fair; she can never have credit from you again. You cannot be having this drama again.

No pay, no eat.

If she turns up with an ostentatious lunchbox on Friday, pay no attention. If anyone else starts to show sympathy or if mean looks are darted your way, just calmly say, "If me using my discount card for other people's benefit is causing bad feeling, I'd better stop using it for anyone except myself."

PepsiLola · 14/10/2019 12:33

So she does do online banking....

Or she took a holiday to physically walk a bank?!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 14/10/2019 12:34

Wow!!!! I also wonder if she paid it herself, of her own free will, though.

Could HR/management have done it to draw a line under things - or got word out to her partner/parents (is she quite young?) who either forced her to do it or paid up themselves?

Did it come in the exact amount in a straightforward UK Sterling transaction, or was it an international transfer subject to the exchange rate from Pesos, and thus a penny or two out?

I'm guessing she got on to the wonderful Lunches For Llamas charity, which does such great work in feeding starving magnificent beasts in South America, and somehow managed to convince them (maybe language-barrier misunderstandings) that 'Drama' was a qualifying variety and equally in need of their financial assistance.

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 12:34

I'm going to sort this out once and for all tomorrow. I can't wait until Friday again. Part of me is more annoyed that she's only paid me the £24 rather than nothing at all!

I can hear her now "but I've paid you!". I'm just going to say that I can't afford to wait until the middle of the next month before she clears the previous months money. It's ridiculous. The others are all fully on my side. E can't believe she's only paid the £24, especially after all the drama.

OP posts:
timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 12:39

Yep! Keep it simple. 'Received £24. You are still oweing £11 and unfortunately I cannot afford to extend credit to anyone for the lunches or subsidise lunches for anyone. Unfortunately I cannot include you in further lunch orders until you have paid what is owed and also for your lunch in advance of orders.'

NO apologising or telling her thanks for finally paying money she's owed you for over a month.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/10/2019 12:39

"I bet she'll have the money ready to pay you on Friday, as she won't want to miss out on the Friday lunches"

Oh I bet she won't then!
Because she's already stated plainly that she will pay the OP "as usual" at the end of the month, so she's not going to backtrack on that now.

Kanga83 · 14/10/2019 12:40

No, don't let her order! She's taken a day off, paid you the wrong amount after all this time, HR are involved, a sour feeling in the team, and she's accused you of bullying. No- she can get her own lunch from the same place at full price if she chooses, but seriously don't rise to it and let her order again.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/10/2019 12:42

Oh shes a cow! She knows exactly what she says doing. She’s going to claim she plans to pay you the other £11 at the end of this month along with whatever she’s orders between now and then.

Stay firm OP! No orders for anyone until all bills are paid!

Btw she’s either seen This thread or someone from work has told her you spoke to HR.

Hidingtonothing · 14/10/2019 12:42

See I don't reckon she will want to pay for her lunch on Friday, she's sticking to her stupid theory about it being unfair that you take the money before the end of the month when you don't have to pay it off immediately, that's why she's only paid the £24. She'll be wanting to run the bill up til month end again and I predict she will make a huge fuss and try to get others on board with her batshit theory that OP is somehow benefitting from 'early payment'.

Be ready with your answers OP, and pre-warn your colleagues it's likely to kick off so they can back you up. She's going to try every trick in the book to get this weeks Friday lunch without paying you, do not let her win!

IfIShouldFallFromGraceWithGod · 14/10/2019 12:43

She is trying to force you to accept the pay monthly thing
A CF and a control freak

NoSquirrels · 14/10/2019 12:44

Absolutely sort it tomorrow.

I'd text her today, in fact.

"Thanks for the £24. You still owe me £11, though. From now on we've all agreed that it is money up front for Friday lunches in cash, so please transfer me the £11 and then bring cash on Friday if you want to order."

IfIShouldFallFromGraceWithGod · 14/10/2019 12:45

Omg I'm public sector. Lunch break so don't get your knickers in a twist MadameButterface
We are all taking shared food in later this week. How fucking dare we

myolivetree · 14/10/2019 12:45

Wow so she paid you " as usual" ( just very late) for last months. And she's going to pay you "as usual" at the end of the month for this month's meals.

Oh my bloody god.

Raging.

Text her. I AM NOT A BANK

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