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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/10/2019 11:15

imagine how butthurt you’d feel if you had to do a day’s actual work

Grin it’s rare my butt hurts after a day’s work. It’s usually my feet, shoulders and back. I did fall in a client’s shower the other day though and definitely felt some butthurt. So I don’t need to imagine Wink

BloggersBlog · 14/10/2019 11:15

Even better that you told HR what was happening then, just in case she is off sick and "bullying" comes into it. You've covered yourself

MadameButterface · 14/10/2019 11:18

“I did fall in a client’s shower the other day though and definitely felt some butthurt. So I don’t need to imagine wink”

Lucky you having showers for clients, i have to take mine down to the river and bash them on a rock

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 11:18

@JoxerGoesToStuttgart

I actually just burst out laughing! That's enough Mumsnet for one day! I shall be back on when there's another update.

OP posts:
Bibidy · 14/10/2019 11:20

B needs to start bringing her lunch in.

What does everyone do for lunch every other day of the week if you only do this on Fridays? I'd be pulling this perk if I were you. It's just hassle.

GoldLeafTree · 14/10/2019 11:29

How did she order on Friday without your permission?

Did she use the discount card and your credit card on Friday and so owes you money?

Or used her own money but your discount card?

midsummabreak · 14/10/2019 11:31

B needs to cut the BS and either pay in instalments if skint or pay on payday Possibly has a credit card debt but either way she knows she is in the wrong and needs to stop taking advantage. Lose the discount card. Change it up For example, could you go for a walk at lunchtimes and bring your own lunch to eat at work before or after the walk?

Veterinari · 14/10/2019 11:36

is there a reason you're not prepared to order lunches for everyone else but not for her?]

saraclara is asking why don't you just order for everyone else and leave her out.

Stormwhale · 14/10/2019 11:39

Wow she has got some cheek. I dont think you should let this go. Why on earth should you be paying for her lunches?! Cheeky bint. When she comes back tomorrow I would straight up say that this is beyond a joke now and she needs to pay what she owes. You are not a charity and will not fund her lunches for her, and you cannot understand why on earth she isnt paying her way.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/10/2019 11:40

i have to take mine down to the river and bash them on a rock

Grin

Gives a whole new meaning to “cilit Bang”.

Motoko · 14/10/2019 11:41

I shall be back on when there's another update.

I suspect you'll have to start a new thread, as this one's filling up quickly.

midsummabreak · 14/10/2019 11:46

Grin WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll too right! Bloody whip those publuc sector arsehole workers, after all their wages are our taxes, and by golly my taxes should NOT pay for hardworking people with fair and reasonable pay and conditions! Sell all of the public sector buildings and make sausage roll buffets for the privare sector to eat for free Lets finally spend taxes on Important things like whipping public sector workers who look happy while they work or better still sack the lot, and then all publuc assets and public services can become extinct and destroyed as maintaining them costs too much tax money.

MadameButterface · 14/10/2019 11:50

I suspect you'll have to start a new thread, as this one's filling up quickly.

This is the sort of saga that runs to five threads AT LEAST on here nowadays, has anyone suggested logging it with 101 yet because op definitely also should do that

UrsulaPandress · 14/10/2019 12:13

TWO DRESSAGE HORSES!!!!!!

tempnamechange98765 · 14/10/2019 12:14

Like you OP I can't actually believe people like B exist on this planet! You sound nice keeping the arrangement with your paying colleagues, as it's still an inconvenience.

Shamelessly following for the update!

Bunnyfuller · 14/10/2019 12:16

Going by the suggested rule on the stolen drinks thread it would be kind if you bought her some lunch today and dropped it round.....

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/10/2019 12:19

Ha! Knew she'd be off today, although taking AL was a mild improvement on her being off sick.
Bet she's off sick tomorrow though. Grin

You CAN ignore HR's advice re. stopping the Friday lunches, but only if you set it up so that situation never ever occurs again. They will get pissed off (rightly) if it's an ongoing situation that affects office relationships and atmosphere and might possibly get more heavy handed and actually ban the lunches, which would be a shame.

So whichever way, B (I have to admit I think of her as Brenda, for no good reason) has fucked you all up by her selfish thieving behaviour.

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 12:21

OMG the money has appeared in my bank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
LipSyncForYourLife · 14/10/2019 12:21

Tight people like this have no conscience, they will hold out in the most bare-faced manner.

I had one of these in our friendship group. Luckily I spotted the signs early on when he was overcome with excitement at finding 20p down the back of the seats one night at bowling. 😂

JPduck · 14/10/2019 12:21

OMG!

UrsulaPandress · 14/10/2019 12:22

Result

AtillatheHun · 14/10/2019 12:22

Praise be.
Your update about dressage horses and sports car makes me think she’s doing it all for fun / control

Menopausalcraziness · 14/10/2019 12:23

Just scrolled through all the messages - happy to hear you’ve been paid! Don’t suppose she added extra for interest?!! Grin

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 14/10/2019 12:23

Score!

I wonder if your managers spoke to her or maybe someone paid for her.

MadameButterface · 14/10/2019 12:24

Oh wow i wonder if this will resolve the matter or if it’s just leading to a surprise plot twist and cliff hanger before the start of chapter 2

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