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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU over non-paying colleague? Lunch dramas

1000 replies

Amelia2000 · 11/10/2019 12:06

I work in an open plan office. Every Friday we order lunch from a local food place. I happen to have a discount credit card for said food outlet, where I receive 30% off. I pay on this credit card and then on the first day of the next month it is paid off via direct debit from my current account. My six other colleagues always pay me in cash on the day (it's usually around/just over £5 each). Sometimes they will bank transfer it to me from their phone if they have forgotten cash. It is a bit of a pain having £30/£40 in cash every week that I then have to put aside rather than spend so that I can put it into the bank to pay off the card every month, but I do it so that we have a nice lunch and that everyone gets to take advantage of the discount. I've ended up getting a little petty cash tin that I keep everyone's money in so that I don't end up frittering it and then having to fork out at the end of the month myself.

There is one person out of the six, let's call her B, that over the last 6 months, always "forgets" her money. It started with me saying "don't worry just bring it in tomorrow" or "I don't have to pay the credit card off until the end of the month so it's OK, just transfer it before then". After saying this, she started not paying me at all until the end of the month, and made a little comment about me taking the money from everyone before I even needed to pay it off. This is true, however everyone else has continued to give me their cash. Like I say above, it's kept in my locked drawer in my desk so it's not like I am spending it! I would be happier if everyone paid me directly into my bank at the end of the month if they wanted to, as it would be easier for me than going into town to go into the bank.

So for the last few months I have had to keep a tally of what B has ordered every week and then let her know that's what she owes when it comes towards the end of the month. This worked for a few months, but the money was always late. She would pay on the 4th or the 5th and I would have to ask every day "ah B, have you got that money for me" and end up subbing her.

So it's now the 11th, it's Friday, she hasn't paid me for last month and so I am £24 out of pocket (The direct debit for the card gets taken out of my current account on the 1st). She obviously hasn't paid me for last week (Friday 4th) either. I have asked every single morning, and reminded her every evening. She just says "I've forgotten sorry, will bring it in tomorrow" and then it never happens. I've asked if she would rather transfer it and she has said no. I've started asking in front of other people (it's an open plan office) in the hope that she would be embarrassed into remembering but it doesn't seem to bother her. It's now got to the point where I am fuming!

We just all started talking about lunch this morning and I have said I no longer want to provide the discount card lunch for everyone as I am not getting the money back in full and on time. One of the other girls has said "who's not paying you?", I looked awkward and said "B, I know you keep forgetting but I am £24 out of pocket, and I can't afford to keep doing it". She basically accused me of bullying her and has run off to the toilets. Two of the other girls followed and said she's in there crying. There is now a horrible atmosphere in the office. She's now back at her desk and ignoring me. The others have said about not having any lunch and how they're going to starve all day. So I've given in and let them use the card. I didn't think B would have the brass neck to order something but she has.

ARGGGGGHHH! Now what?

OP posts:
myolivetree · 14/10/2019 12:46

I wouldn't be getting her lunches again full stop.

NoSquirrels · 14/10/2019 12:48

If she tries ANY sort of "it's unfair you're charging us before you have to pay it" business, just tell her it's none of her business when you pay off your credit card bill and if she doesn't like paying cash up front she is welcome to not join in, or get her own credit card with a discount and you'll be DELIGHTED to pay her in cash instead.

Engage no further than that. Arguing it with her would be pointless.

Groovee · 14/10/2019 12:49

So glad you have the money OP!

beachandcocktails · 14/10/2019 12:49

Wow. So she's still sticking to the "I'll pay you at the end of the month like normal". So she's only paid you up until the end of September and not the remaining £11 she's ran up in October? This is a million miles beyond CFery now. How can any normal person think this is OK? Has she always seemed like a fairly normal person up until now?

DamonSalvatoresDinner · 14/10/2019 12:49

Is it a Bank holiday in England today like it is here in Scotland? If so, she's talking shite about not having online banking.

But back to the issue. She's not intending on paying for next Friday's lunch when it's due. She's clearly expecting you to continue her food finance payment facility. I'm glad you're putting your foot down. When you pay your CC bill has nothing to do with when you require the money for someone else using it.

coconutpie · 14/10/2019 12:49

Her passive aggressiveness is outrageous. I would text her the following:

I have received £24. You still owe me a further £11. Unless you pay back your outstanding debt to me by today and pay upfront for your lunch order on Fridays, you will no longer be ordering lunch with the group.

MadameButterface · 14/10/2019 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/10/2019 12:51

I wouldn't be getting her lunches again full stop.

Nor would I but that would be playing right into her hands for a work place bullying claim. She’d say OP was deliberately excluding only her after she went through a period of financial hardship Hmm

coconutpie · 14/10/2019 12:51

Also, I'm not sure why she thinks it is ok to pay you back at the end of each month. Is she a bit dense? It's not like she paid you for something which you will buy at the end of the month and so the money is sitting in your account accumulating interest for a service or product she has not yet received .... which is not the case here! You purchased her lunch. She consumed it. She didn't pay.

EssentialHummus · 14/10/2019 12:52

Fgs. Just “thanks, but you’ve paid late in the past and it’s not for me to chase you. I won’t order for you again until...”

Nanna50 · 14/10/2019 12:52

Oh OP I can also hear her saying.. but I told you I will pay you at the end of the month, just like always. Even though she is 2 weeks late this month paying for last month Angry

ucfo · 14/10/2019 12:53

"Thanks for the £24. You still owe me £11, though. From now on we've all agreed that it is money up front for Friday lunches in cash, so please transfer me the £11 and then bring cash on Friday if you want to order."

This is good. Use this.
And then on Friday if the 11 quid hasn't been paid don't order for her even if she then has the money for Friday's lunch.
If the 11 quid has been paid and there is no cash up front for Friday's order then she doesn't get anything. She doesn't have to go hungry (so don't take any notice of emotional blackmailing). If she doesn't have the cash she'll have to go and get some out of the bank or go to a shop and buy a sandwich using a debit card (like other non CF people do).
She can't go into a shop and buy something and not pay so she can't expect you to order without the money upfront either.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/10/2019 12:54

but who shit their ears off

😂😂😂

Where are you from??

Mephisto · 14/10/2019 12:55

However, who knew the cost of a reputation was as little as GBP 35🙄.

@billy1966

It doesn’t matter if it’s £35 or £35,000, always pay your debts.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/10/2019 12:56

If she tells you she’ll pay you at the end of the month tell her she can have her lunch at the end of the month.

TheNinkiestNonk · 14/10/2019 12:56

Received the £24
Can you transfer me the other £11 owed by 5pm today. I am in need of this money owed to me
Thanks

That's all and no more ordering for her at all. She's taking the piss.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 14/10/2019 12:57

To be fair, someone shitting their own ears off is a fantastic mental image.

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 12:57

@EssentialHummus yep I think I am going to go with this.

@MadameButterface I don't really understand your last post, or what you're going off on a tangent about. I don't think it's relevant to my thread though? So I'm not sure how to respond to you. Confused

I just KNOW that she is going to say I am unfair about this. The others in the office are also in disbelief at her level of cheekiness. Maybe she has read this thread? It only takes someone to mention it I guess, it is quite outing!

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 14/10/2019 12:59

Or how about this, OP, as the cash upfront is a ball-ache for you to pay in...

Lunch club rules: everyone pays by bank transfer on Thursday. No money in your account by 9am Friday, no order.

Upfront for everyone by bank transfer with no more subbing.

londonrach · 14/10/2019 13:00

Omg...op...thats amazing. Please share tomorrow what happens when she returns to work and start a new thread

Graphista · 14/10/2019 13:01

Good grief! She really is on a whole other level cheeky fuckery wise!

I'm wondering if HR/Line manager have picked her up on not leaving appropriate info for colleagues to cover her work and if they haven't why not ?

I'd also be very curious in your shoes op to know under what circumstances she left her last job, I wouldn't be at all surprised if there were similar issues Involved

It's one thing to piss about over a social financial arrangement but to further allow it to affect your employers business in this way and create additional work for her colleagues because she's basically throwing an extended spoilt princess tantrum is completely unacceptable.

If i were her boss I'd be having serious words with her about unprofessional conduct, lack of commitment to the role and letting colleagues and the business down,

I'm amazed she was even allowed to take annual leave at such short notice and feel sure as per other pps she's claimed some imaginary emergency and was in all likelihood told to brief/provide notes accordingly which she hasn't done.

Don't write off the debt as that's money of yours she happily spent and as a pp said morally no different than her lifting cash out of your purse.

she is a despicable, selfish, spoilt madam who needs to be held to account.

Amelia2000 · 14/10/2019 13:01

@NoSquirrels I may take this opportunity to ask everyone to pay via bank transfer, but I am happy for them to do it just before the order if they like as I can access my banking from my phone to check. I do feel a little unfair on the other girls that this has affected them (I know some of them use their tips from waitressing jobs), but if only one small positive comes from this, it could be that everyone pays on the day into my account and saves me having to go to the bank at all. After all, they are all getting a 30% discount.

OP posts:
cstaff · 14/10/2019 13:01

Yay - that is brilliant. So the next question is - will you be including her in this Friday's lunch after her creating this big saga about nothing.

browneyes77 · 14/10/2019 13:02

If i was your line manager i would be absolutely raging that so much time and energy has gone on this

I’m self employed and some of the daft time wasting bollocks employed people manage to spend half the day bogged down in (if threads on here are to be believed) takes the absolute piss, it’s like another world

And yet here you are wasting your valuable self employed working time, bitching on MN.....Hmm

If I was your client I’d be raging that instead of completing services I’d paid you for, you were spending your time fannying about on MN, whining at a bunch of strangers.

You’re no different than the people your slagging off. Get over yourself.

NoSquirrels · 14/10/2019 13:02

And it doesn't matter if she thinks it's unfair. It's the same rules for everyone. If she doesn't like the terms on offer, then she is free not to have lunch with you all.

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