To be angry with DH? AIBU.

[OverThinker0507]

We are supposed to be going away for the weekend tomorrow with our DC’s (primary aged). We have a 180 mile trip at 10am tomorrow. He told me he was going out for a meal and a few drinks for his friends birthday - which is fine - I waved them off at 7 this evening. It’s now approaching 1am and he isn’t home - he has decided to drink until the pubs close. He doesn’t go out often with friends , yet when he does he always takes it too far (drinks wise) - as in coming home very very drunk.

He will be home shortly and he will most likely just collapse on the sofa - but my point is he will still be over the limit tomorrow which isn’t safe for anyone. I’m furious as we are supposed to be going away with extended family also in the morning.

Please tell me how to handle this situation.

Could you set off without him, leave him to sober up and then join you by train?

I'd be furious too! Are you saying he should be driving? Could you not drive?

Ignore him tonight let him sleep until you need him up then expect him to manage and deal with his inevitable hangover. Treat him as normal tomorrow and give him the same responsibilities as he’d have if he hadn’t been drinking. He will be safe to drive later in the day, can you do the first leg? . If not leave a little later. Coffee in the morning water tonight. Here’s a safe to drive calculator morning-after.org.uk/?page_id=82

Guessing you don’t drive then?

I’m so angry, I wish he didn’t come back here tonight. Was a little family break. I can drive but I’m not insured on his car - so yeah technically he is the only driver.

Phone up and get insured. Come on, don’t let him spoil it.

I could get day insurance I guess but I don’t really want to do that. His mum is coming in our car too. My family are setting out at 10.

180 miles is a long way for one person to drive alone anyway is it not?

I’m not going to let him spoil it but this is where I go wrong in our relationship and turn it in to a huge argument and I don’t know how to avoid this! He will not acknowledge he is in the wrong.

What’s the alternative though? Either you put yourself on the insurance, you let people down or what, he drives over the limit?

It’s a 3 hour drive - we stop off at service stations.

Just give him
Loads of water abs coffee and let him sleep till the last minute.

I'd be pissed too but it doesn't have to be a disaster?

I’ll drive tomorrow. Don’t want to be near him right now. So angry !!!!!

No, I guess not. I guess writing about it stops me from overreacting !

Just give him
Loads of water and coffee and let him sleep till the last minute.

I'd be pissed too but it doesn't have to be a disaster?

Try to be cool as I imagine with a hangover it may cause him to react badly.

Think of the end goal - the weekend away.

Get insurance and leave him at home. Driving 180 miles yourself is nothing.

Not unreasonable at all to be angry though. I’d be raging too

Fair enough I have never driven 180 miles and thought it would be longer than three hours. I stand corrected.

Is he home OP?

I’m not comfortable with the assumption that the man is responsible for all the driving, personally. But I guess in your situation, I’d be pissed off

I wouldn't be too bothered about this but a) doing all the driving wouldn't bother me and b) it's the done thing in our circle to stay until to kicking out time. I'd assume something happened if they were home before it.

Do you have a breathaliser? We’ve got one from driving on the continent. It’s handy for situations like this

He got home 10 mins ago. I’m annoyed, I opened the door, I said “how much you have to drink”, he goes “7 pints, I’ll be fine in morning”. I said yeah okay sleep downstairs. And he goes “it was my friends birthday, no one else has gone home to this”. Ahhhh..... Men.

@Derbee
OP has stated she's not insured ?

Just let him sleep it off abd regret in morning.

It isn't "men" it's the man YOU'RE with. Let him enjoy his hangover and all the effects of his poor judgement