AIBU with wild imagination of new pilot boyfriend?

[Magic00]

Hello!
Long time lurker first time poster!

I’ve just started dating a man who I think is the one. He’s kind, funny, v good in bed and generous. I met him through a university friend and it’s moving fast. BUT he’s a first officer for a big airline so is away a lot in the week.
We message when he’s away and I have his schedule but it’s not helping my niggling jealousy. I’ve never been the jealous type before. I’ve seen all the glamorous crew on tv and spend hours online reading stories of room parties and wild nights out. They all look like models and make up artists. I work in accounts in a boring office job and haven’t a clue about Mac etc. Surely if you’re away in a paid hotel room with these girls you’re going to “enjoy” yourself? I know this sounds horrible but he’s on quite a good salary and they’re on a low one. I worry that they would target him for his pay check. He’s very sweet and chats to everyone so mightn’t know their plans.

I haven’t really spoken to him about these concerns and don’t want to be over keen on what he did when he was on his layover otherwise he might be suspicious of how my brain is in over drive!
So my AIBU is - am I unreasonable thinking that every pilot is off shagging 24/7 in Miami Boston Shanghai?
Please mumsnet help me see sense! Do you worry about your partners!

Oh Lottie. I know what she meant.

I know you did.

God I have a total thing about pilots. It’s the uniform

How are you with traffic wardens? Very similar look, except for the wings (badges, I mean. Not that traffic wardens have wings under their jackets). What about hotel doormen?

As ex-crew I can tell you it does happen. The parties, sex etc. It is also true that it’s not a ‘glamorous’ job, at least not when you’re a serving a chicken entree at 4am. It is, in my opinion, easier to hide infidelity with flying long haul with layovers...But the reality is it he will cheat if he is that way inclined, having this job or not.

That also means he won’t cheat, if he is that way inclined. Flying or not. I think you need to trust him, or not be in a relationship with him.

Also I never saw anyone abuse a poor pilot and con them out of their pay check.. not in all my years in the job.

You can laugh your head off all you want about being sexually harassed! I don’t find it particularly funny.
Must be dull flying them these days 🤷🏼‍♀️

You sound unstable ..

The point at issue is not that you were sexually harassed but that you allege that it’s endemic and that most pilots behave that way.

The women making the allegations about Harvey Weinstein didn’t claim that all film producers were sexual criminals and advise women not to work in the film industry. See the difference?

Some people shag around, some don’t. Will he have the opportunity at some point? Absolutely. (Most of us could cheat if we wanted to! But we don’t!) Is there any reason to think he’ll say yes, because of the industry he’s in? No! That’s actually a little insulting to him. Yes he may well be ‘targeted’ for his salary but unless he’s a complete moron he will ignore that.

If he wanted to be with a colleague he’d be dating one. He’s chosen to be with you. He sounds lovely so enjoy it and don’t let this kind of nonsense into your head.