My partner was fired today

[Newname2505]

Absolutely bloody furious! We have a mortgage and children to find. Our wedding is booked and upcoming and has a balance outstanding still and it’s right before Christmas and my partner has gone and got themselves bloody fired for gross misconduct so it’s instant dismissal and no notice.

I don’t know how we’re going to cope. I just want to cry and I’m so angry. I’ve been working extra shifts to try and pay for this wedding and doing 50 hours some weeks and now it’s all for nothing as the money saved will be wiped out in lost wages.

No advice , but it seems so unfair , and I hope things will soon look up for you . He may not be able to tell his friend but what if a third party was to spill the beans somehow ?

I was thinking that. Surely OP could tell the friend? I know I would.

I have a strong feeling that the op's husband is a Solicitor. That's why the business is hot on the legal side. And also why he can't go for a McJob as he would be questioned for being over qualified. Probably accessed a legal file of his friend.

To the PP saying no company can give a bad reference.. where do you get this from? It is common for references to be factual and to state the reason for leaving - dismissal in this case, with possibly some further details of the reasons for this.

I've been dismissed a long long time ago and the very first thing I did was to negotiate a neutral reference. Depending on what OP's DH has done (and I have a feeling we've not heard the full story) I would recommend he go back and agree a neutral reference if there's any leeway to do so. Unless what he's done is beyond the pale, I think this is his best chance of salvaging his reputation in the job market. He'd still have to explain why he'd left without a job to go to but that's much more easily explained that a reference saying dismissal.

Honestly you don't want a bad ref hanging around like a bad smell for however many years, if there's any way you can possibly get around this.

No. Not all companies release this info. Maybe yours did. I recently supported a friend who was dismissed her company stated they would not release why she left the company only that she left on a certain date. That’s why you need to call HR department to find out what they release.

I also didn’t say no company I said most.

Really? Do I understand you correctly? So are you saying an employee contributes to a pension scheme, gets sacked and their employer decides to tell their pension trustees they cannot pay that money out to that employee on reaching retirement age? Is that legal?

Yes, loss of pension rights can happen. Often used by the police when dismissing for gross misconduct. I think it’s shitty.

No company can give a bad reference

juneflowers. Completely untrue. It can be as bad as they like as long as it’s factual.

Just to put your minds at ease it is very rare in the UK for someone to lose their pension rights if sacked even for gross misconduct. The most that happens is if there is a financial loss to the company they may seek to recover this loss from their contributions. Obviously all further contributions cease immediately.

I agree with pp's who've said that it's worth getting legal advice and seeing if you can appeal, and get the gross misconduct commuted to mere misconduct with notice pay and an agreed neutral reference. The threat of going to a tribunal might be enough for them to at least agree a neutral reference. From there you can move on.

I do think that if you can access a file that you shouldn't, that is the fault of the company's systems.

Personally I don't think you should be able to give a bad reference in most cases. It's not in the taxpayer's interest for someone to be unemployable unless they've been conning old ladies and want a job in a care home.

I do think that if you can access a file that you shouldn't, that is the fault of the company's systems.

Well no because it isn’t necessarily accessing the file but accessing the file inappropriately. For instance, when I was a nurse I may have needed to access the file of one of my neighbours if they were brought into my A&E department, which would have been fine. If on the other hand I accessed their file out of the blue because I just fancied a snoop then that would be inappropriate.

Dismissal affects your pension potentially but they can’t keep your contributions, also they can’t tell you who to be friends with either- they can stop you poaching clients but not who to be friends with! Definitely speak to ACAS and or legal advice, their whole reasoning sounds weak to me although without knowing all the ins and outs it’s difficult for anyone to say. Try and get the reference at least out of them or the option to resign. Fingers crossed for you

Don't want to derail the thread but my comment was not underplaying male suicide. I just think the pp that said that the comments on this thread that lead to male suicide was ott. And so was my response.
This was in response to the pp who said about men's suicide going through the roof and no wonder from threads like this.

There are lots of reasons why it's high but one of the many, is an inability to adapt to change. It's widely written about and another is that male privilege is expected as a given and when it fails some men cannot cope, this coupled with a myriad other things in their lives means they see suicide as an option.

They also face issues that affect everyone like poverty, job loss, lack of mental health care etc.

So to all those who think my viewpoint is vile then fine but I don't think you get where I was coming from.

You're in a hole flirtygirl, stop digging. I must remember to tell my dear friend that her 17 year old ds privilege and inability to adapt to change caused him to hang himself the week before Christmas, that'll learn her.

WTF why would someone waste their time applying to Burger King if they've previously had high paid job in finance industry for example?!

Wouldn’t timing be the answer? How long do you wait for the next high paid job to come along? Presumably after a period of time you accept you need to take any job going?

@Armadillostoes he broke GDPR law, somehow I do not think he win an Employment case because I am sure the company will be receiving a hefty fine because of him!

Based on the above it’s not clear that this is GDPR issue - more likely a breach of policy (whether just the company’s one or a wider regulatory one is less clear).

Op I know it feels awful now, but at some stage things will get better. Can your dh work self employed in his field for while or perhaps freelance?

Would it be a GDPR issue if his friend (Their Client) gave his consent for your DH to access? Surely if it works along side consent then he has done nothing wrong. Perhaps the client needs to speak up on your DH behalf. And there is absolutely nothing wrong working in The NHS. Before joining the Fire Service I worked in the hospital and loved my job and loved the rubbish pay!

Feeling more positive today after DP has applied for over 30 jobs and already has an interview lined up. Annoyingly as well he also received in the post today a written copy of his dismissal AND a printed copy of the clients / friends account showing my partners name listed by it. So they’ve bloody breached GDPR themselves as there was no consent to print and send the clients personal details!

No company can give a bad reference, just refuse to give one instead so it acts like a nod is as good as a wink really.

Just for anyone who reads this after... it's a myth. Companies can give a negative reference, it just has to be factual. Some companies will decline to give a reference instead, as it can be seen as "safer", but it's absolutely okay to give a negative reference if it is factual.

Well @Newname2505 that's his workplace being very 'the pot calling the kettle black'
Has your DP been in touch with ACAS, his union or an employment solicitor yet?

So they’ve bloody breached GDPR themselves as there was no consent to print and send the clients personal details!

And there you have it. At the very least he should use this as a means of 'negotiating' a reference.