To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

Exactly. They can have something else, but I need the healthy stuff to help me stay active... You know... For sex.

Well this has been a weird read. I always thought of myself as quite prudish but compared to a lot of these posters I am quite the wild one

The comments criticising the op for having a job are disgusting and the ones stating a 10 year old should be in bed at 7.30 are not much better.

I once had a wank in the same room as DS2...is this akin to sexual abuse?

I once had a wank in the same room as DS2...is this akin to sexual abuse?

If your DS2 was getting his allocated 175 hours of sleep at the time, it's fine.

Mumsnetters really make me sick sometimes.

Come on her to pick apart others and can’t even see the humour in an obviously light hearted thread....🙄 pitiful and so petty

@CormacMcLaggen

Ok I got through the first 5 pages!

Sex is a normal part of a healthy relationship and the fact that you and your husband are still attracted to each other (post three children) bodes really well for your marriage which ultimately is fantastic for your children.

Come on her to pick apart others and can’t even see the humour in an obviously light hearted thread....

'Come on her'??

Blimey, that's probably a bit further than even the OP's willing to go

Blimey, that's probably a bit further than even the OP's willing to go

Yeah, that is a bit far for a quickie

@worral...

I’m not sure if you were trying to be funny or what but everybody with a smartphone and predicted text could clearly read what I wrote and would have obviously understood ‘her’ was suppose to be ‘here’...

Fucking hell

Another one with a complete sense of humour bypass?

Where are you all coming from and how long would it take for you all to go back there?

@Rubyuber how judgemental are you! Not everyone has the choice to be a stay at home parent.

"worral"

I prefer "iberty".

@Rubyuber or to work around the kids. My 3 go to a childminder before and after school. Is it ideal no but I have to work! What a terrible Mum and role model I am!!

iberty

@HerRoyalFattyness I feel you. My husband and I have been married for 15 years and have 8’9 & 10 year olds. We very rarely get the chance as we are knackered both out the house from 7-6 (shock horror, terrible parents!) We tend to make the most of weekend morning when the kids are up at stupid o’clock playing in the play room.

@WorraLiberty ahh! Someone called you Worral whenever I see your username I automatically see Wirral do you live on the Wirral?

taking my opportunity to ask

Jesus. Not every thread is a free pass for judgement. There is such a thing as lighthearted without having to spell it out. Or maybe there isn’t.....

I’m not sure if you were trying to be funny or what but everybody with a smartphone and predicted text could clearly read what I wrote and would have obviously understood ‘her’ was suppose to be ‘here’

The done thing in adult life when you're on a lighthearted thread and make a freudian slip like that is to laugh it off. It was a funny mistake, lighten up.

OP, you have to get your kicks where you can find them. If you need an early evening quickie, get one. Sometimes you just need a quickie and if the DC are awake they're probably not going to be traumatised by your choices unless you're making them watch (in which case, don't).

You got naked when the kids were downstairs?! That’s a no no imo.

It's not that unusual being naked though? The kids were occupied, so unless there is a backstory of little Johnny barging in the parents bedroom daily, I don't think it's that weird.

I’m not sure if you were trying to be funny or what but everybody with a smartphone and predicted text could clearly read what I wrote and would have obviously understood ‘her’ was suppose to be ‘here’ oh the irony.

ImTheBatman, no but so many people over the years have thought I live on the Wirral

I'm a softy southerner but it might be my spiritual home!

Worra I always thought you were a northerner you belong up here with me. You're far too funny to be a southerner

You got naked when the kids were downstairs?! That’s a no no imo.

I completely agree, so I always shower fully clothed.

CormacMcLaggen funny you should say that.

DP has just been for a shower and walked across the landing in just a towel. My 10 year old saw him.
Is this abuse? Should DP be showering with clothes on?
I suppose it saves space in the washing machine.