To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

@whiskeysourpuss with the light out don't forget!

@Mydumboears

Try telling my husband this! He thinks we’re heading for divorce as we hardly spend anytime together as we have a very young DC 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP, many posters will just be jealous that you have 3 young kids and still want to DTD in the middle of family chaos.

Calling it ‘grim’ is disheartening to hear.

MyDcAreMarvel

It’s a bit grim to have sex with your young dc awake in the other room. They are all young enough to be in bed by 8pm, just wait until then

Of course it’s not grim! She’s not expecting them to watch!
My DH works nights - he’s in bed by 9pm and I don’t like evening sex - too tired. We often used to grab time when kids watching a movie etc - it’s spontaneous, and fun.
I can’t be bothered at all these days but that’s a whole other thread.

Give over. She’s entitled to a bit of the other while kids are doing something else. It’s light hearted and fun, spontaneous!
We wait until kids are in bed or don’t do it. Or just stay up late!! If you’re in the mood, then good things come to those who wait. Don’t give up, girl. Get your rocks off anyway you can 🤪

@HerRoyalFattyness this ain't mumsnet mouldies... :-(

More importantly... Why did your dc have the poops? Lol

You need to do this AS SOON as they go on technology, after all BMs! Lol

We have several kids. Oldest 8 and youngest 5 months and we sneak off for quickies in the day all the time. Didn't even consider it would be thought of a grim until now. We aren't going to stop though 🤣🤣🤣 We probably conceived youngest baby during the day while older kids were watching Pokemon.

What a load of whingeing gits on this thread!

I knew straight away OP you were having a light hearted moan... these lot are just jealous because they probably aren't getting any at all.

You've got to get creative and you can start by putting a lock on your bedroom door and waking DH up.... they don't mind being woken for that.

Also, don't strip off for a quickie..plan in advance and put a dress/skirt on.

Wait until they are teenagers! It’s near impossible. 😂😂😂😂

It’s a nightmare!! My oldest goes to bed late now and his room is opposite ours so we have to dtd downstairs and barricade the door!!!

As a ten year old, I was rarely asleep before 11 pm.

As for the shag, I haven't had one in years and I am married with a 17 year old.

At least your husband is interested - mine cancelled sex about four years ago!

I'm sure someone here could let me know how much a set of pearls cost nowadays as plenty of you are clutching them! Imagine wanting an intimate relationship after children, shame on you OP!

What’s good for kids is parents with a strong relationship, you guys chasing the op with pitchforks likes she’s Fuckenstein are off your heads

Exactly & Fuckenstein is brilliant.

We often have sex when the children are awake. Usually morning sex and putting on a film for them. Lock the door, don’t make too much noise etc. I think it’s good for kids to have parents who are still intimate.

Wow. This thread is mental! Just to really piss the ridiculous, sanctimonious posters.....

I've had sex with my DH 4 times today while our 4 yr old was in the house. I also work full time and allow DS the iPad. Life is bloody brilliant

whatthewhatthewhat
I've no idea why she had the shits. She's absolutely fine today. Probably ate something she shouldn't. dirt knowing Her

Just catching up on this thread. Someone posted on page 3 that a 10 year old should be in bed by 7.30. My 8 year old son goes to Cubs; it doesn't finish till 8.30. 7.30 for a 10 year old is very early, I would think it's more like 9 till 9.30 pm for that age.

Benes high five for the sex! Good going!

I've had sex with my DH 4 times today while our 4 yr old was in the house. I also work full time and allow DS the iPad. Life is bloody brilliant

I'm very jealous.

Omg op you really got it on this thread lol.

I'm the same, I now have a 3rd on the way.
We try obvs when both kids are snoozing... but some times where they're distracted in the morning and we want a quickie it can be interrupted with "mama!!!!" .... such a mood kill 😂

And who ever pointed out "you got naked.... with the kids in the house!?"..

🤔🙄

Really 🙄

Anyway... I hope you get some soon lol

This has to be one of the most hilarious posts I've seen on here. LOL With the added bonus of making me realise my meagre sex life is pretty much pornhub compared to this lot hahaha!

Sweet lucky you 😆

We're going through a particularly horny phase!! I'm hoping he's up for an early night 😉
Not bad for 37 and 48 year old!

Try finding time when you have an 11 month old and 5 year old

However I must admit I’m insanely jealous that you still have the want and energy for a quickie OP

Scheduled sex is shit

Personally find it much easier with teenagers. They are always asleep on weekend mornings. And often out on a Friday night...

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

You have three children, I'm assuming you've got it sussed by now?!