To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

I'm no prude nor a pearl clutcher....I couldn't care less if a couple have sex whilst their dc are awake in another room...I was just surprised that the op was surprised that this may potentially curtail such activities.

Being a parent destroys most aspects of one's life.

Being a parent destroys most aspects of one's life

That's really sad.

Fortunately it hasn't destroyed most aspects of mine.

It was a light hearted comment Worra!

Being a parent destroys most aspects of one's life

Only if you let it.

Ahh sorry formerbabe. There are so many weird posts on this thread, it's hard to tell

Just had an enjoyable hour reading this thread 😂

Not read the whole thing, but surely the answer is simple your husband stays awake long enough after the kids have gone to bed and are asleep, for you both to have sex?

I feel your pain! Its a challenge eh. But look at it another way, you nearly got away with it 😉. So next time you might get lucky. We sneak upstairs with ours watching films in the afternoons, sometimes we get laid, sometimes we don't. That's half the fun. Don't stop trying. You deserve some fun yourself.

The answer is in the question!

Not read the whole thing, but surely the answer is simple your husband stays awake long enough after the kids have gone to bed and are asleep, for you both to have sex?

This is mumsnet, people don't like the simple answer.

@bluntness100 don't worry the OP updated, they had a shag this morning whilst the children were building a train track, "problem" sorted

You could just accept it like most other people. You’re not 25 anymore. You’ve got responsibilities that come first

Take note op; lock up yer fanny and don't let it out again until all the kids have left home, and even then, you still don't do it in the daytime. Fucking hussy. This place is batshit at the moment

Anyway the point remains that having children only inhibits and restricts your freedoms

Sounds like some people on here are in need of a quickie as well.

Some absolute whoppers on this thread. Leave the her alone. It was a lighthearted post that went over many heads.

This is mumsnet, people don't like the simple answer.

The OP has already answered that a few times.

Moral of the story, don’t have kids! 😂

I'm no prude nor a pearl clutcher....I couldn't care less if a couple have sex whilst their dc are awake in another room...I was just surprised that the op was surprised that this may potentially curtail such activities

No formerbabe, stop trying to backtrack. You're the one that was responsible for this gem on page one...

If you wanted to shag during the day, then you should have stayed childfree to be honest!

Sounds like some people on here are in need of a quickie as well

I don't think a quickie would cut it. A good pounding might, yanno the type that gives you a coat hanger gob....

This thread reminds me of that episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte tried to talk to her sorority sisters about her lack of a satisfactory sex life. “Haven’t you ever just wanted to be fucked?” she said, to be met with literal pearl-clutching and scandalised gasps of “What’s wrong with you, Charlotte?”
Anyway OP, glad you got some in the end!

The stuffiness on here astounds me every day! OP I feel your pain and you made me and my DH laugh!

@Rainonmyguitar

Im not back tracking. I'm absolutely correct in saying that if you wish to live your life entirely free from the restrictions that children put on your life, then the only way to do that is to remain childfree.

This is one of the most bizarre threads I've ever read on mn. Not the op but the responses!

@formerbabe you stated if you want sex during the day then stay child free, ridiculous as many here have pointed out you just need to have sex in a certain way, accept that sometimes it works out and others it doesn't, OP was being lighthearted I don't the the children are up for adoption, she was just having a giggle at a slight frustrating event. They managed this morning, so they're all happy and proved it can be done.