To hate people using my first name

[Cloudyyy]

Is it unreasonable to expect strangers (shop assistants, clients etc) to use my title and surname instead of my first name unless I say otherwise? I just cannot stand the rudeness of being called my first name by a bank worker, just for example, without reason. We are not friends or colleagues, there is no need. It is presumptuous and rude. Is there ever a polite way of asking someone not to? I rarely dare say anything especially to clients and yet I really don’t like it. Do others think this is fine?

Doesn’t bother me, it’s my name after all 🤷🏻‍♀️

I go back and forth on this, for example at the hairdresser I would expect first name terms, but I get irrationally irritated by the bank calling me up and asking for Lola.

Then again, at work I will always contact parents using their Mr/Mrs/Miss surname as standard, but will say it's Lola Blogs from school. Once I talk more to parents it ends up first name.

I mind first names when there's an established relationship in a professional way, but I really dislike people being overfamiliar.

Seems very old-fashioned to expect to be called Mrs X to me. I am fine with first names.

It is rude I agree, they should wait until you've told then to call them by your first name; if you choose to do so. However it works both ways, I work in a shop and find it very patronising and a bit creepy when people use my first name to thank me. I know it on my name badge but it feels a bit invasive.

I find people using my first name more friendly. I wouldn't find it a problem. I'm not that precious.

*I don't mind first names when there's an established professional relationship

I detest being called Mrs beards, irrational but hate it!

I feel that good manners are very important and sadly have become a lost art in much of our society, but even to me you sound really uptight. So long as the person is polite and gracious, isn't that enough? Is such strict formality really necessary?

I work in a school so its perfectly normal to use Mr/Mrs/Miss etc on a daily basis. So much so, we end up using it when there aren't even children around.

I’d be interested to know how old you are OP and whether this is a generation thing. I’m 33 and find being called Mrs X a bit weird/awkward, I’d much rather a bank worker called me by my first name.

I prefer people using my first name, but if you don't like it then just politely say you prefer a more formal approach

They should ask if its OK to call you by your first name and not just presume. If you prefer them not to, just say. You could always say you're not keen on your first name or something if you're embarrassed saying anything but it would only be 2 seconds awkwardness then they'd move on. They'll have been told by management to use customers first names.

I agree, if someone says do you mind if I call you 'sowing' I say yes I do. I guess not many people do as they are always taken aback when I ask to be called Mrs Bees.

I also don't like calling teachers by their first name, no I don't want to call you Paul I want to call you Mr English.

When I started my nursing training in the 80s , I felt really uncomfortable with calling the elderly patients by their first name, but it’s what they invariably requested. Wouldn’t bother me though, it was just the 50-70 year old age gap that made it odd.

I find it irritatingly familiar when people choose to shorten my first name though.

I don't mind it, and I'm old. I quite like the informal approach as long as it's polite. I got called 'madam' by a 20-something shop assistant the other day & it felt really weird.

I don’t think it’s rude. I prefer people to use my first name. Mrs Garbled feels unnaturally formal and Madam, antiquated.

@LolaSmiles

I go back and forth on this, for example at the hairdresser I would expect first name terms, but I get irrationally irritated by the bank calling me up and asking for Lola.

My thought is that the bank employee does this to make sure they have the right person due to privacy concerns. Lots of households have multiple generations of family members and there could be two Mrs. Smiles. They need to be sure they are speaking to the correct person.

I think it's strange to be so precious about your first name. It's not a secret.

I’m very old fashioned in a way and I prefer Mrs Keith.
I was brought up to call someone Mr or Mrs unless they said otherwise. All my friends parents and our neighbours were Mr or Mrs.
I find it odd when children refer to their friends parents by their first names. But I acknowledge I’m old fashioned.

I don't mind either way but I object to people calling me by my first name whilst expecting me to use their surname at title. It is either first name both ways or Dr/Mrs/ Mr Bloggs, otherwise it implies a difference in status

I find it pompous and old fashioned to use Mrs xxxx. Much prefer my first name and use first names in business

I hate being called by my title & surname. I don't think people in public-facing roles can win: either way they'll offend someone.

I like being called by my first name, it’s my name!

@Paintedmaypole

My dr calls her self dr xxx on announcement system but she invites you to use her first name if appropriate to be using a name, all paperwork includes first and last name for all the employees

I think it’s odd that they do it without asking my bank always asks first. I don’t have a problem with it either way tho if I’m honest.