To hate people using my first name

[Cloudyyy]

Is it unreasonable to expect strangers (shop assistants, clients etc) to use my title and surname instead of my first name unless I say otherwise? I just cannot stand the rudeness of being called my first name by a bank worker, just for example, without reason. We are not friends or colleagues, there is no need. It is presumptuous and rude. Is there ever a polite way of asking someone not to? I rarely dare say anything especially to clients and yet I really don’t like it. Do others think this is fine?

I’m with you, OP. It feels like forced over-friendliness. I’d find it odd if I was expected to address colleagues as Mr or Mrs, but someone from the electricity company or the credit card company? You’re not my friend.

I’ve only once called someone up on it - the estate agent who was making a right hash of my house sale. He was being extremely patronising when I was trying to complain about the numerous cock-ups that the firm had made; I felt like he was using my first name to try to turn it into a discussion between equals. Er, no - I’m the client here and you’ve fucked up. If you want thousands of pounds from me, you can damn well treat me like a valued client.

Some people are weird, if this is seriously all you have to worry about in life then you should count yourself very lucky. It is flabbergasting the things some people will get offended over. Get a life.

I'd rather be called by my first name, Twat, as Mrs Cat is my mother in laws name

It is flabbergasting the things some people will get offended over. Get a life.
People have made some comments about an element of interaction they dislike. It's hardly falling over under the weight of offence being taken.

I agree with PP, forced over-familiarity and over friendliness is quite uncomfortable.

This is very old fashioned OP. Also how do you know what title to use on a stranger? Miss, Ms, Mrs, Dr?

I don’t mind at all. I’m mid 40s if that makes a difference!

I've never had anyone use my first name in the first instance, I usually get "can I speak to miss firstname lastname" and then they ask if they can call me by my first name.
Doesn't bother me.

I prefer my first name, people absolutely butcher my surname and it just comes out as a big long mumble that no one understands, that I just assume means me.

Some people are weird, if this is seriously all you have to worry about in life then you should count yourself very lucky. It is flabbergasting the things some people will get offended over. Get a life.

If you can’t understand that people can discuss a whole range of issues, some of which are vitally important, others of which are minor/trivial, it’s YOU who needs to get a life.

I know what you mean, OP, and I feel the same. However, I believe we are both unreasonable.

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@LolaSmiles "I just cannot stand the rudeness of being called my first name by a bank worker"

Sounds like the OP is offended to me

Also how do you know what title to use on a stranger? Miss, Ms, Mrs, Dr?

Surely you can just use Mr or Ms and the person you’re addressing can say ‘It’s Mrs/Dr/Prof actually’ if necessary?

I have absolutely no problem with people using my first name, I'm 70 so don't know if that makes me an exception.

However, as a pp said I would object to people using my first name and expecting me to call them by a title and surname.

I did at one time ask my previous vet's receptionists to call me by my first name as everyone working there goes by their first names, but apparently the vet preferred all clients to be addressed more formally.

It also seems to be the norm at my new vets, and come to think of it every other vet I've been to. Maybe it's because I'm seen as an older woman so I get the formal treatment, but it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when they're calling me Ms Dofly and I'm calling them by their first names.

How odd...

I find it strange when addressed as Miss Surname.

I am myself before I am a member of my family.

I agree with you OP.

It doesn't sound offended to me, more finding over-familiarity quite rude.

Then again I also dislike it when people who are strangers to me start putting on the fake over-friendliness. E.g. I don't need my name on my coffee cup, I don't need the bank calling me up saying "Hi Lola we'd just like to push this product..." And so on.

YABU, and very old fashioned.

I’m quite happy to be called by my first name by anyone. If someone asked me to call them ‘Mrs Bloggs’ rather than ‘Beryl’, I would of course comply. It would be rude not to. But I would think them a pompous arse.

Why on earth is it rude to call you by your name?
I think you need to calm down.

It's over-familiar and I feel like the boundaries in society are fuzzier than I'd like.

No, I'm not your friend. I am your colleague.

No, I'm not your friend. I am your colleague

You think the principle should extend to colleagues? At work - in an office, say?

I haven't called anyone Mrs or Mr X since I left school and much prefer being called by my first name.

I love how north Americans address strangers as Mam or Sir. Sounds a lot softer and respectful than our formal salutations. Until I know whoever I am dealing with I prefer Mrs.

I'm a teacher and I always introduce myself by "firstname mammyloveswine" (hint..not real name)... but I come from a daycare background where we used our first names. Tbh I'd prefer that god preschool and nursery children...

Some people are weird, if this is seriously all you have to worry about in life then you should count yourself very lucky. It is flabbergasting the things some people will get offended over. Get a life

Sometimes it's when life is at it's most worrying and stressful because of the BIG stuff, that one is least able to cope with the small stuff.
When my husband was in the terminal phase of his cancer, I coped really well I think. But a checkout person asking me if I had anything fun planned today almost brought me to my knees. And I posted an OP about nosey and intrusive questions from shop staff and got a reaction like yours @whatisthismess
So really, fuck off with your assumptions about the OP.