To get my 3 year old baptised in an attempt to get into a Catholic school

[nestisflown]

AIBU on two levels:

1. to want to baptise my 3 year old and start attending local mass weekly in order to get into one of the best schools in the area (and our closest school, although the next closest secular school is also an excellent one). Is this morally dubious? Or do lots of parents do the same?

1. to think that my transparent plan will work and help my child get a place even though we'll have been attending mass for less than a year by the time applications are made...and the applications want proof of "sustained weekly attendance". It doesnt define sustained though

My reasons for wanting my child to go to Catholic school are: (1.) It is a great school academically; (2) it's our closest school; (3) it's the only good faith school close to us (there's a CofE school but it's doesn't perform well academically), and as a non-Catholic but practising Christian, I'd quite like to see faith incorporated into my child's school day...even in a different denomination.

Has anyone done this? Has anyone succeeded?

Well if you are on with sending your child to a school which religiously discriminates against children then I don’t think that cheating the admissions system is going to tarnish your soul much.

I don't really want to waste my time if there's no chance of this working. It's quite a declaration and commitment if there's no school place offered.

@BogglesGoggles I absolutely agree it's discrimination. The best schools should be open to all children regardless of faith

I think it's a hypocritical thing to do. Sorry

Some schools ask for baptism before a certain age or attendance for a certain time.

It all depends what is in the criteria - so if 200 people go to church and there is 100 places how do they prioritise.

You may be too late regardless of the morals of doing it. Is your 3 year old starting next September? In my area applications open imminently.

Round my way DCs have to have been baptised within their first 6 months or something ridiculous which prevents situations like yours.

Also regular attendance is not enough - there has to be active participation in the parish so running Sunday school, flower arranging, cleaning etc.

You won't just get them in and never then be required to go to church...
I don't think it's a great idea... However you need to go and take a look around and see if it will agree with your beliefs and also ask for clarity on sustained weekly attendance... Some schools base over 3-5years

Do you need to get a letter from the priest? If so, attendance isn't enough.

@Toomanycats99 Yes I'm kicking myself because I checked last year and ruled the school out because it's admissions policy required baptism before the age of 1. But I've just checked the 2020 admissions policy and there's no reference to this or the length of attendance.

@Userzzzzz yes next september. But I have an August baby so if there's a chance of this working I'm open to keeping them back in preschool another year in order to give us a better chance of success.

Yanbu.

This is very common. Loads of people do this. Otherwise churches would be packed out with all the families of the local Catholic schools.

I didn't do it because I think it's rather brainwashing. I went to a Catholic primary and secondary school and when I look back at things now, it was bloody weird. Making communion for one thing!!! Dressing up as a 7yo bride declaring your love for God. Fucked up.

Anyway, I digress.

Lots of people do it. So just go for it.

If you’re a practising Christian I think this might be taken into consideration anyway? It’s worth finding out if it does because then you won’t have to leave your own church for a year

if you think that your child will excel in life going to that school rather than the other local school, you are very much deluding themselves. If they are clever, they will do well wherever they go.

Teaching them that pretending to be affiliated to a religion just for a mean that has nothing to do with say religion is pretty low.

Practising catholic with kids at a catholic school here. I would say it massively depends on the school the admissions policies vary a lot.
When you get your child baptised in you make a promise to bring them up in catholic faith as a practising Christian how would you feel about making this promise?
Are you going to continue taking him to mass after he gets a place?
Another thing to think about is how much religion is taught on a daily basis, again this varies from school to school.
At our school a lot of year 3 is preparing for first forgiveness and first holy communion, there is a big booklet to fill in and lots of masses and extra religious teaching.

One of the parents needs to be catholic or at least they need to in our parish so you'd have to check that first.
I changed to Catholic (September to Easter weekly classes) and only then could DD be baptised.

You do need to attend a lot,be as involved as possible and remember it doesn't stop here, there's Holy Communion,Confirmation and then Catholic secondaries if you go that route.

As long as you don't start objecting to prayers,mass in school time etc I don't see the issue .

If you are a practising Christian you can get a letter from your regular church stating how often you attend.

If you are a practicing christian isnt your child already baptised

Whether it is morally wrong is up to you to decide however I can tell you that this is very very common.
Churches are full at certain times of year, depending on the admission rules, of children who will not continue to go once a school place is obtained.

@Seeline oh dear God in definitely not going to be running Sunday school...I disagree with lots of the Catholic beliefs and practises I am happy to show my face and nod and smile but couldn't actively participate in the indoctrination of children in beliefs I only 50% hold.

@happytoday73 I don't mind continuing to go to church. I would just see this as being involved in the school community. But I agree I'll need to check them out to see if I am happy with their beliefs and way of doing things.

Yes sorry as pp said at least one of you will have to convert. This takes a while my friend did it and I think it was a good few months.

My kids go to an excellent Catholic school which is very oversubscribed .you will have to give proof of the baptism certificate and declaration of the date of baptism on the application, so if there are 31 Catholic applicants all with kids baptised from
Birth and younger than yours, you can see where the problems will be for a class of 30. Yes it's morally dubious, Faith and Prayer plays a large and active part of their time in school, so if you don't believe then you do need to have a good think. But the short of it is, no it's not a guarantee.

@nestisflown they won't accept your DC, my SIL tried it and they said she was baptised to late...

@nestisflown if you disagree with the practices why on earth would you send him?!