To get my 3 year old baptised in an attempt to get into a Catholic school

[nestisflown]

AIBU on two levels:

1. to want to baptise my 3 year old and start attending local mass weekly in order to get into one of the best schools in the area (and our closest school, although the next closest secular school is also an excellent one). Is this morally dubious? Or do lots of parents do the same?

1. to think that my transparent plan will work and help my child get a place even though we'll have been attending mass for less than a year by the time applications are made...and the applications want proof of "sustained weekly attendance". It doesnt define sustained though

My reasons for wanting my child to go to Catholic school are: (1.) It is a great school academically; (2) it's our closest school; (3) it's the only good faith school close to us (there's a CofE school but it's doesn't perform well academically), and as a non-Catholic but practising Christian, I'd quite like to see faith incorporated into my child's school day...even in a different denomination.

Has anyone done this? Has anyone succeeded?

It’s NOT massively likely...

Well its quite hard to promise to god you are going to bring your child up in the catholic faith but not be catholic yourself. But you dont get baptised sgain, you do a conversion course. The thing is you'd want to share communion with your child as its quite central.

1. Lots of parents do do it, and yes it is unreasonable
2. Yes, they will see right through it but it will probably work anyway.

I know loads of people who have done it, then complained loudly about the bible bashing in the school when they are in I think its immoral but if your conscience is clear, go for it. (I speak as a catholic who sent her kids to catholic school)

Honestly I hate this, because we are atheists raised protestant and all the really good schools round here are Catholic. But I wouldn't judge you one bit for doing it, do the best you can for your kid man, it's not the fault of Catholic schools that the other state schools are so dire. Just make sure you tell them it's fine to be gay and for women to be in control of their sexuality, that Catholicism is some messed up shit.

I didn't get my children baptised as I don't believe it's my choice to make

In the RC church, we get our babies baptised but they take confirmation when they are old enough to make that choice for themselves. Baptism isn’t making the choice for them for life. It’s the start of a journey they can choose to follow or not at their will (one of mine did, the other didn’t).

You are far too late to be considering this. You will be expected to be a Catholic yourself and attend various masses throughout the year. It's not fair on genuine parents who can't get their children in.

You sound utterly ghastly.

@HopeIsNotAStrategy Haha, I'm fairly nice and normal. Promise just a parent who can't afford independent school but wants to give my child the best possible opportunities. Open to accusations of being a hypocrite and morally flexible though.

One parent at least has to be catholic to baptise a child in the catholic faith.
You don't don't just get baptised you go to weekly classes, get baptised, make your first holy communion and get confirmed.
You can't commit to bringing up a child in faith you don't believe in or belong to.

But it's irrelevant for you really. As you say it sounds like you've got no chance.

Oh and I'm fine with people being gay and women having control of their sexuality

Messed up shit is not confined to the Catholics

If you are a practicing christian isnt your child already baptised

There’s a lot of disagreement about infant baptism in different Christian denominations. My church doesn’t baptise anyone that hasn’t made that decision did the self.

^for themself

You can’t just pay this lip service, it’s full on Catholicism right from the start, gory details of the crucifixion, prayers, confessions and mass plus all the associated thingS that go along with church clubs - cub leader for you etc etc?
It’s not just about the standard of education, you’ll be expected to demonstrate everything else that goes with the faith too.

Surely you can't just rock up at a RC church and enrol your child to baptism classes? Don't you have to be Catholic yourselves?

YANBU.

It's not fair that a school can cherry-pick children based on their parents' church attendance.
But life isn't fair and if you want a reasonable shot at a school place there, you will need to read the admissions criteria and see if you can follow it to the letter.

@NC4Now no they don’t. The Roman church lowered the age for Eucharist so that children would be too young to refuse confirmation and would just do what they were told (as explained to me by my RE teacher in a catholic school back in the day).

Of course YABU! And at the church we attend your child has to have been baptised within 6 months of their birth to stand any chance of getting into the school.

I think it’s morally wrong, so YABU.

It’s morally wrong to teach your children to blatantly lie to get what they want. They will realise what you’ve done as they get older.

It’s wrong to say you couldn't actively participate in the indoctrination of children in beliefs I only 50% hold when you’d be forcing a religious indoctrination on your children, purely because of Ofsted ratings.

I’m sure they’d see through people like you anyway, so if you’re comfortable with being a massive hypocrite and morally bankrupt, I’d say go ahead and apply.

You need to be careful doing this. My friends DH attended a local church to get their kids in at the local school. He ended up getting converted and now he does short term missionary trips to Mexico every few months.

I disagree with lots of the Catholic beliefs and practises

Then you are not only unreasonable but a cheeky fucking hypocrite to boot. You would be giving your child a catholic education yet don't agree with the teachings of the church. Can you not see any issues there??

Our RC children at their RC school have Catholicism wound into the whole school ethos and lessons. They go to mass regularly with school or the priest comes to school to say mass. There's most of year 3 dedicated to holy communion. Nursery and reception focus on the sacrament of baptism. Easter is massive as is Christmas. Ours ha e just celebrated Mary's birthday with special assemblies, events, art projects, and other class work.

I suspect you have no idea what a catholic school is like.

Well if you are on with sending your child to a school which religiously discriminates against children then I don’t think that cheating the admissions system is going to tarnish your soul much.

ROFL. So a Catholic school, which provides a Catholic education, wanting Catholic students who come from families that presumably support the Catholic Church is "religious discrimination"?

We once had a priest (who was married and had two children) who said it was non Catholic children that schools should be encouraging. The role of the school is to educate children in the faith and his view was that Catholic children got that from their parents and we, as a Catholic community had an obligation to enlighten the children of non Catholic parents.
I tend to agree with him and my god would welcome all comers as equal. Sadly admission criteria tends not to support the view that the key reason for a Catholic school is evangelisation.
It’s wrong, of course. It’s dishonest but any good Catholic would hope that in attending Mass regularly, you saw the light and your faith grew.
Go for it.

You can’t just pay this lip service, it’s full on Catholicism right from the start, gory details of the crucifixion, prayers, confessions and mass plus all the associated thingS that go along with church clubs - cub leader for you etc etc?

Is this really the case? When I went to Catholic school I only went to mass during school times and never got baptised or did confirmation. I also decided not to say the prayers when I was old enough...but I loved the hymns and ceremony. Do Catholic schools expect all that extra curricular stuff these days? Don't think I could commit to that extent if that's the case.

Surely you can't just rock up at a RC church and enrol your child to baptism classes? Don't you have to be Catholic yourselves?

I don’t think you do actually. A godparent has to be Catholic but I don’t think the parents have to be. I’m not sure whether a priest can or would refuse if asked. I don’t suppose it happens very often.

It totally depends on the admission criteria for the school you are interested in. Some say must be baptised before a certain age, others say you must sign in, weekly, at mass for 18 months before form signing.

If you aren't catholic you won't stick out - there are plenty of non-Catholics married to Catholics who have baptised catholic children. However some schools are very full on and require praying before parents evenings, for example, as well as things like the sex ed classes being only about husband and wife within marriage - to be fair last time I went to one of those the teacher apologised and said they realised the parents didn't necessarily live such "traditional" lives and would happily talk about divorce and unmarried parents etc.

If you are a practicing Christian of any sort then I don't see the problem. If you didn't practice any faith at all then yes I would think you were unreasonable