To get my 3 year old baptised in an attempt to get into a Catholic school

[nestisflown]

AIBU on two levels:

1. to want to baptise my 3 year old and start attending local mass weekly in order to get into one of the best schools in the area (and our closest school, although the next closest secular school is also an excellent one). Is this morally dubious? Or do lots of parents do the same?

1. to think that my transparent plan will work and help my child get a place even though we'll have been attending mass for less than a year by the time applications are made...and the applications want proof of "sustained weekly attendance". It doesnt define sustained though

My reasons for wanting my child to go to Catholic school are: (1.) It is a great school academically; (2) it's our closest school; (3) it's the only good faith school close to us (there's a CofE school but it's doesn't perform well academically), and as a non-Catholic but practising Christian, I'd quite like to see faith incorporated into my child's school day...even in a different denomination.

Has anyone done this? Has anyone succeeded?

If you are a practicing Christian, is your child not already baptised? My children were baptised Catholic as babies, and the priest told us they know some people baptised their children to get them into school, but said they took that as a commitment to raising them in the catholic faith.
That said, only about half the class went on and did their holy communion and confirmation, so presumably they weren’t baptised.
Often there’s another entrance criteria of getting another faith (practicing) which is also pretty high up the list.

You disagree with most catholic doctrine to the point were you see educating children about the faith as "indoctrination" and participating in church life is a huge negative and you STILL want your child at a catholic school when other perfectly good schools are available

It doesn't compute - sorry

If they are clever, they will do well wherever they go.

I really disagree with this. A good school, and even a good teacher alone, can make an enormous difference. I could list off several examples just from my immediate circle.

If you disagree with their practice why would you send them? You do realise they will be learning prayers in class from the first day, taking part in collective worship with a bible, crucifix and the rosary? Learning morning, lunchtime and going home prayers? Receive a prayer book? Hymns in assembly, Mass twice a term, a religious stance to all classes- creation, science etc? And that's from Reception. In addition, there will be family services to attend outside of school. Preparation for first communion, then at ours confirmation is done in year 6.

Id say the school is wise to those parents who suddenly rock up 1 year before starting school and expecting their child to be christened......

You should have had DC christened at birth to keep your options open rather than wait to the last minute as then it comes across as being a cheeky fuckery

They will ask for a copy of the baptism certificate and when they see the date they will see right through you.....

Oh, just seen your later post. Um.... you will be actively participating in indoctrinating children in beliefs you don’t agree with if you send your child to catholic school. You know they teach Catholicism there, don’t you?
They take confession and communion etc as part of RE and when they get to about 8 they start preparing for confirmation.

Is this serious?

So you're a practising christian, but not a catholic, and you're willing to exploit the local catholic community and school and attempt to cheat the system by going before your god and baptising your child into a religion that isn't one you follow in order to get the child into one of their schools.

Bloody hell. As a life long atheist I'm glad I don't have your 'christian morals and values'.

Being clever and doing well wherever doesn't show the whole picture

Secondary school

Was clever, did "well" - would've done a lot better with better teaching in some subjects and had I not been completely miserable due to bullying and the schools overt focus on ignoring succeeding kids to focus on those causing disruption

..I disagree with lots of the Catholic beliefs and practises

your a cheeky and hypocritical bloody so so

but you don't mind your child being taught the beliefs and practises if they get a decent education out of it.... 🤔

You need to ask around a bit. 3 is late for a catholic baptism - it might not be accepted. Can you get a baptism if the parents aren’t catholics / practising catholics? Some priests don’t like it.

However go to your local church. There is a HUGE shortage of priests right now and you may well find your local church has a temp priest or no priest. In that case you might be able to make them believe you attend regularly (although they’re bound to ask Bridget who does the flowers who knows everything and she’ll say she’s never seen you before..)

It might work, it might not. More research needed!

If it's a successful and over-subscribed school especially if its oversubscribed with Catholics there is almost certainly no chance of this succeeding. You're way behind the pace with this one. At one point we knew people were trying to conceive when they started going to Mass, so that children who didn't yet exist would get into the right school -- it was as sure a sign as folic acid containers in the kitchen cabinet.

This is the guidance document for priests providing a 'certificate of Catholic practice' for school applications:

www.catholiceducation.org.uk/guidance-for-schools/admissions

It gives five years of regular Mass attendance as a minimum as the period of 'Catholic practice' for determining whether a family are practising Catholics. I imagine it's possible you might find a lax priest, but it's no guarantee.

Depends which beliefs and practises. Many catholics diagree with the Catholic Churches stance on homosexuality, abortion, contraception, sending pervert priests into communities to rape children.... you get the idea.

If you disagree with say, Jesus, that might be more problematic

The real question is very simple.

Do you believe in God and wish to show a commitment to the Catholic faith as a Christian?

If so, start going to the church and get your child baptised.

It shouldn't be used just as a mean to get a child into the school of your choice. Morally reprehensible.

I'm a non-practising catholic, DH is C of E, we had out DC baptised Catholic (albeit at six months) to ensue they got into a catholic school which is by far the best in the area. DS1 has just got outstanding GCSE results and DS2 also doing great. They do GCSE RE in school, have mass, etc, but we don't go to church and religion plays no part in our home life's. It is hypocritical, but their overall education is more important.

*means ^^

Have you checked the actual places offered by the school in prior years? The Catholic primary near me has a good reputation but is undersubscribed and so non-Catholic children have been offered places for the last few years.

You should get baptised yourself. If you are going to mass anyway, you may as well join up too.

@troppibambini

Because I believe in the fundamentals of Christian faith and think a Catholic school is better at providing grounding in this than a secular one. I went to a Catholic primary and secondary and was able to think somewhat freely (obviously with a Catholic bias) because my parents always challenged us on what we learnt in school.

But thanks for the responses- it's a lot of food for thought. I am Christian but I didn't get my children baptised as I don't believe it's my choice to make. They had a blessing instead. This thread has reminded me of that. I don't think I should change my moral stance just for a school place.

Also the responses from those with children already at Catholic school have been very helpful. It sounds like my child wouldn't get in anyway at this late stage.

To those asking why I don't just get a letter of weekly attendance from my denomination- this won't work. This is a one form school, Ofsted outstanding, with ridiculously good academics... it fills up on local Catholic applications alone. And even if it didn't, Catholic children further out in other parishes are given greater priority than local children of other Christian faith. So I wouldn't stand a chance doing it that way.

We looked into a Catholic school for our DC, as we assumed it would be the better school. I looked on our local councils website and comapred our top 3 choices and the Catholic School was bottom in everything, not saying it would be the case for your school, but i would do some research.

Also, when I went onto the Catholic Schools website, there was so much extra stuff the children had to do, it seemed like on top of normal school work, they would be under too much pressure and have too much going on.

If catholic school - you need to be a practicing catholic. That was my school anyway and they refused anyone who was non catholic.

@GaudyNight ohhh wow that's useful thanks. They'll probably piss themselves laughing at my application.

What's this about me having to get baptised too? Why would that be necessary?

All my friends who did this started well before now, the children were baptised by 1 and they attended mass weekly since then.

It’s bit massively likely a priest would randomly baptise a child not from a. Catholic family ime. I suspect you’d all had to be catholic.

I would look into it further, and I am
Catholic. Don’t hate the player hate the game

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted to me, education is the most important thing. If that's hypocritical, then I'm a hypocrite. As a child of immigrants who drilled this into me, I think education is still the only thing closest to being a social equaliser. If the faith school is the best school, then indoctrinate my children. 🤷‍♀️

You can't just get DC baptised straight away (unless unwell) you'll have to go to baptism preparation classes. I think my church only run them every few months so you may be too late for a January deadline.