Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with my partner over his mum's will

303 replies

Cherrypea · 01/10/2019 18:10

My partner and I have been together 10 years and have 3 kids (my daughter, his son and a DD between us) When his dad died a few years ago his mum made a new will naming my partner and his sister as benefactories. I have asked him what would happen to his share of the money if he died before his mum and his answer is it'll probably go to the younger 2 children as we aren't married but if his sister died her share would go to her husband. This makes me so mad, he seems happy for myself and my older daughter to receive nothing and he won't ask his mum about it. My view is she could easily name me and my DD should be treated as her siblings are (although that's another saga) he should respect me enough to ask her about it.....

OP posts:
BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 01/10/2019 18:11

If he died first, or a sibling did, his mum would have to rewrite her will otherwise it’d just be split between the remaining named people. Nothing would happen automatically to keep others in the will.

june2007 · 01/10/2019 18:14

If he died first it's not his money is it?

LoreleiRock · 01/10/2019 18:14

I would not want my children’s inheritance to go to their partners, maybe they are just trying to protect it? What about your eldest child? Do they have other family?

StinkyHouse85 · 01/10/2019 18:15

Do you want to marry him?

OllyBJolly · 01/10/2019 18:15

Why are you getting worked up about imaginary money? Would your DD's relatives leave money to his DS and your joint DD?

Anotheruser02 · 01/10/2019 18:15

I wouldn't want to raise that with my parent either. Is just getting married not an option?

Justmuddlingalong · 01/10/2019 18:15

Jeez you've got it all sorted eh?

TeenPlusTwenties · 01/10/2019 18:16

To be blunt, if you want your partners mother to treat you as a DIL, then get married. Living together and having children together is not the same as marriage. And no, it's not 'just a piece of paper'.

1Morewineplease · 01/10/2019 18:17

This seems a bit grabby.

WorraLiberty · 01/10/2019 18:17

But if he dies before he's inherited anything, then he doesn't have an inheritance to leave anyone Confused

NameChangeNugget · 01/10/2019 18:18

YABU, you must see that?

Cynara · 01/10/2019 18:18

It's not even his money, let alone yours! You cannot possibly expect him to ask his mother to include you in her will, that's insanely rude and grabby!

cocomelon23 · 01/10/2019 18:18

Why are you even thinking about that? That's never even crossed my mind Confused

tweedledeedo · 01/10/2019 18:19

Wow. YABU

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 01/10/2019 18:19

Why should his mum provide for you? Confused

Lllot5 · 01/10/2019 18:20

Surely if he dies before his mum the money wouldn’t be his yet? So split between his two sisters. I think

ittakes2 · 01/10/2019 18:20

I'm sorry but you sound grabby. I would understand if you are upset if he didn't name you and your child in HIS will but for goodness sake stay out of his mother's will. She gets to decide who to give her money to - its none of your business. Even if you did marry him it would not mean that you got her money if he died before her and then she died.. She could easily change her will after he died. I can't believe you are even talking about this with him - and you seem to be actually fighting about it!

BogglesGoggles · 01/10/2019 18:20

He’s wrong. It’s only goes to the people named in the will at the time of death.

Settlersofcatan · 01/10/2019 18:20

Would your parents leave money to him and his DS?

siriusblackthemischieviouscat · 01/10/2019 18:21

Ive been married for years and have two children to my husband. When my in laws pass the inheritance is family money but if my dh were to pass before his parents i would expect them to pass his share on to our children not to me.

Why should your daughter inherit their money? At what age was she when your dh joined the family? And does she have a relationship with her father? If she was older and has a father in her life and understands your DP isnt her dad then it seems fair she doesnt inherit from step grandparents

Happierlife · 01/10/2019 18:22

His will can say whatever it wants but neither you nor him have a say in his mother's will. It is her choice to do what she wants with her assets.

Stop making it an issue.

Justmuddlingalong · 01/10/2019 18:22

Respect, by the way, is earned.

Bluntness100 · 01/10/2019 18:23

How can you not know this is unreasonable? You can't demand his mother leave you money.

Original poster
Cherrypea · 01/10/2019 18:23

I think it's the fact he says it'd be different if we were married as if that makes a difference to who I am. This was also the reason my DD wasn't included in a trust fund set up by his parents before his dad died. Every single member of my family who has ever been married has been divorced at least once and its not a happy place for me!

OP posts:
StinkyHouse85 · 01/10/2019 18:24

I think it's the fact he says it'd be different if we were married as if that makes a difference to who I am.

But it does though Confused