AIBU to be annoyed with my partner over his mum's will

[Cherrypea]

My partner and I have been together 10 years and have 3 kids (my daughter, his son and a DD between us) When his dad died a few years ago his mum made a new will naming my partner and his sister as benefactories. I have asked him what would happen to his share of the money if he died before his mum and his answer is it'll probably go to the younger 2 children as we aren't married but if his sister died her share would go to her husband. This makes me so mad, he seems happy for myself and my older daughter to receive nothing and he won't ask his mum about it. My view is she could easily name me and my DD should be treated as her siblings are (although that's another saga) he should respect me enough to ask her about it.....

Surely it's not that unusual for people to leave money to their dcs and, if a dc predeceases them then the money goes to the grandkids rather than the dc's spouse? That's what my parents and PILs did.

As for your dd, does she have a father/grandparents she might inherit from? If she does, would you expect her to share it with her 2 siblings? 🤔

My next of kin, sister and nephew, will have a nasty shock when they see my will.....

YABU when my mum rewrote her will we talked it through and we both agreed if I died before her my portion would go into trust for my children not to my husband - he was trustee. Husband knows this and he’s in agreement. Also it’s really none of your business.

Blimey! Not even are you pissed off about moneybthat isn't yours, and doesn't exist, you don't even know the facts! Your dp has only said what he thinks. Neither of you actually know how the Will was written - if his sister pre-deceases his mother the will may say it goes to her kids not her dh. Or the local cats home...

yabvu

Well as he was wrong and his sisters share wouldn’t go to her husband if she died first I think you should never mention it again.
His mothers will is entirely a matter for her.

You sound grabby and quite frankly, it's none of your business how your MIL does her will, it's her money. Are you expecting your DP to create some family rift over something that probably won't happen because you're feeling a bit sulkly?

Wtf is wrong with you? You sound so grabby.

if the DM has written in the will as to what would happen if either predecease her (which would be standard solicitors advice to include) then whatever she says goes. Which could easily be the husband of the daughter and the bio children of the son.

Jeez, nobody deserves an inheritance, not even the child of the deceased. I really hope my parents blow all their cash on fabulous holidays and life experiences. It would be nice if DP sees your DD as equal in terms of splitting his own inheritance between the three kids but he doesn't have to... and your MIL doesn't owe you anything

If my dh died, I would not expect to inherit anything from them! I would expect it to go to my son more likely. Or maybe just split between the remaining two brothers. It's not my money.

I would expect your DD to inherit DP's share - is that what you mean, rather not including you personally?

This makes me so mad, he seems happy for myself and my older daughter to receive nothing and he won't ask his mum about it. My view is she could easily name me and my DD should be treated as her siblings are

You’re deluded OP! Unfortunately as things stand you and your daughter are entitled to nothing. You’re sounding a bit grabby!

How much will your parents be leaving your partner in their will/wills?

If something happened to my DH before his parents I wouldn't expect a penny. Our first child is being born in a couple weeks so I expect the child would be thought of, but not me. That's not right.

Neither's cohabitation by the sound of it. You seem very overinvested in someone else's money. Wether or not you're married to her son doesn't matter. She can give her money to exactly whomever she likes.

Why would his dm give your dd anything when she’s not related to her?

Her estate is worth about 4 million...

OP if he gets the inheritance and then dies without a will it will go to his two children and his sister because that is what happens when you are not married!

The solution -to get married

The value of her estate really has nothing to do with it.....

@Cherrypea Her estate is worth about 4 million...

So? You’re still not entitled to any of it (nor is your eldest DD).

OP you need to properly look into exactly what being married means legally as it does change an awful lot

Wow he got lucky with you didn't he.

I've never heard anything so grabby in my life.

DP and I have a son together. He stands to inherit a lot when his mum passed away but I would never, for one second, think it should go to me if he dies first. It should obviously go to his son.

Anything from her should go to his family or how she dictates. You're not married, so you're not his family.

If I was asked to leave money to a child’s GF/BF the answer would be a swift no and I would ensure any money I left was protected so that it couldn’t happen.

I’d certainly not to expect a child outside of the family to inherit. Have you insisted your family leave to his child? Somehow I doubt it.

You realise that your MIL could leave all her money to the postman and she would be perfectly entitled to do so?

(Also - what is it nowadays with people wanting all the protections and benefits of marriage without actually getting married? That’s literally what marriage is for ffs!)