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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be expected to sit at the back

240 replies

Channychanny · 27/09/2019 21:38

Me and the boyfriend live separately. Together for 4 years though. I have a child and so does he. Whenever we go my child gets in the back of the car (teenager). When he picked me up, his adult child stayed in the front seat. Should I be ok with this? I felt uncomfortable and disrespected.

OP posts:
Sleeplease · 27/09/2019 21:40

Unless you called shotgun yabu

IDontDrinkTea · 27/09/2019 21:40

If they’re already in the car when you get in, I wouldn’t expect them to move

Neverendingtodolist · 27/09/2019 21:41

What superiority do you have over another adult?

Thenotes · 27/09/2019 21:43

If an adult was already in the front when you were picked up I wouldn't expect them to move.

NuffingChora · 27/09/2019 21:44

.....eh?

Cam77 · 27/09/2019 21:46

I guess it would be polite for the big kid to offer to move, but no big deal.

Floralnomad · 27/09/2019 21:48

Why would you expect an adult to move into the back for you .

Wellmet · 27/09/2019 21:51

As an adult, I only move to the back for my nan, or my mom if I'm in a very good mood.

Unknownanon · 27/09/2019 21:52

Did you expect them to move? That's disrespectful imo, why should they? YWBVVU.

1Morewineplease · 27/09/2019 21:54

Is this all you have to worry about?

SleepingStandingUp · 27/09/2019 21:55

They're an adulr, why would they get out for you unless physiy you can not manage to get in the back?

TokyoSushi · 27/09/2019 21:56

Adults aren't really supposed to get in the back for other adults Confused

saraclara · 27/09/2019 21:58

He/she was already there. He/she is an adult. Why should they move?
Do you think you have some sort of seniority in the situation?

I'm sorry, but that's a very strange attitude.

SuzieQ10 · 27/09/2019 21:58

Who has the longest legs?
I think you might be reading too much in to this, if they were already sat down in the front...

Toastymash · 27/09/2019 21:59

Wow

DocusDiplo · 27/09/2019 22:00

I would never let one of my children sit at the front whilst a DP sat at back (whatever their age). Yanbu!

SleepingStandingUp · 27/09/2019 22:02

I would never let one of my children sit at the front whilst a DP sat at back (whatever their age)
So you would seriously demand say a 30 year old adt got out of the seat they were sitting in because the person you're having sex is more worthy of sitting next to you for a car ride?

TheTrollFairy · 27/09/2019 22:02

they called shotgun so they win!

I’m all seriousness, why should they have to move for you? Unless I’m missing something

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 27/09/2019 22:02

My youngest DS is very tall so now (he is 15) if travelling by car he sits in the front passenger seat . Does your DSS have long legs Op ?
Not that it matters as I think YABU

Pipandmum · 27/09/2019 22:02

I would expect my teenage children to get in the back if I was collecting a friend. I wouldn’t have to ask them they know it is a respectful thing to do.

TheQueef · 27/09/2019 22:03

Long trip maybe but a lift? You are being precious.

sparkles07 · 27/09/2019 22:04

I would love to switch my problems with yours for a day Wink get over it, fast!

Sweettalking · 27/09/2019 22:04

I understand what you mean. My step children always move to the back seat if I'm in the car, they sit in the front if I'm not there. Its a respectful thing to do.

Sweettalking · 27/09/2019 22:06

@SleepingStandingUp what a disgusting attitude! The person the parent chooses to spend their life with is not to be called 'the person they choose to have sex with', what sort of upbringing did you have to have that disgusting attitude?

Ontheboardwalk · 27/09/2019 22:10

5 car door doesn’t matter. Whoever is sat in the front first stays there

If 3 door and you are unable to get in the back seat and they can then they should change seats.