To be expected to sit at the back

[Channychanny]

Me and the boyfriend live separately. Together for 4 years though. I have a child and so does he. Whenever we go my child gets in the back of the car (teenager). When he picked me up, his adult child stayed in the front seat. Should I be ok with this? I felt uncomfortable and disrespected.

Not unless you're elderly, which I'd class as 50+

That's pushing it a bit - 50 and onwards is essentially 'sitting around and waiting for the sweet release of death' territory.

If we're simply talking elderly, that's more like 22 or older.

YABVU!!

You’re not automatically entitled to someone’s respect because you’re older than them! Who the hell do you think you are? You sound like a self-entitled asshole!

if the retirement age is 67 how can someone of 50 be elderly?
Looks like someone got hit with the stupid stick.

Jeez, I feel for Her Maj - she's spent years sitting in the back. So disrespectful of those bastards at the Palace...

Is this thread still going? Maybe next time I get to the car I can just pretend it is the Mad Hatter's tea party and shout change places. Maybe sometimes for a laugh we can play music at the same time and have a bit of a game of musical statues.

The things people get so worked up about baffle me sometimes

We don’t really have much of a relationship due to the distance. They live with their mum in another country.

Surely in this case you'd insist on the son sitting next to his dad so it's easier for them to chat as they see each other very little.

This makes you sound all the more unreasonable as they don't see each other much or get to spend much time with each other.

Instead of feeling disrespected for an adult bit moving for you, focus on how how they've actually shown you respect in including you on their limited time together. If his son wanted to exclude you and make you feel less than him he could have suggested to his Dad that as they don't see each much and he has no relationship with you can they spend time just them.

I normally let older people sit in the front. It just seems politer somehow although in this case it seems more sensible for father and son to be together

In our families it's whoever touches the front passenger handle first gets the seat. MIL, SIL and I always race for it regardless of who's driving it's fun.
If someone's already there, tough, sit in the back.

The only people any of us would move for is other SIL who has a disability.

I’m a short adult with weeny wee legs however I would stampede over my own mother (were she still here), the pope and the dalai lama to get into the front seat.

Unless all of the above have no objections to being projectile spewed on from the rear passenger seat, of course. 🤢

This young adult barely ever gets to see their parent. Of course they get priority when it comes to sitting in the best place to communicate with their parent (especially given they were already sitting there when girlfriend was picked up).

Parent's girlfriend gets to sit there all the rest of the year. This should not be about power play.
If I had a boyfriend who put himself above my adult child over something as ridiculous as the passenger seat of my car, they'd be history.

I always used to offer my MIL the front seat, but she'd never take it. She preferred being in the back, the better to enjoy her grandkids company!

I live in another country. I see my dad once a year and he isn't great on the phone. Darn right, I sit in the front when we visit. It's the only time I get to have a proper chat. I happily jump in the back, if you are already sitting up front, but I would also really appreciate, if you went in the back for me. After all, you are with him all the time. I rarely get the chance.
Now, I know, I'm not your step child and I'm with the majority of posters who say "Just get in the free seat", but the fact that they don't see each other often, I think you should appreciate that, if nothing else, for them sitting in the front is more important.

Not unless you're elderly, which I'd class as 50+

Ouch!