to secretly have accumulated just over £50K of savings over the last few years?

[LargeGnTPlease]

First time poster here, so please be gentle! so AIBU to secretly have accumulated just over £50K of savings over the last few years? No one knows, not my DH, no one!

Err how- please share?

Are you a drug dealer ?

With no context I have no idea if YABU.

Well done saving all that dosh.

It's good to have a get out fund but please share your tips!

I have £50 in savings 😂

Good for you. Every woman should have a 'running away' fund, or so my grandmother taught me.

I’d be really upset if my husband had syphoned off £50k that could have been used to benefit the family and he’d be upset if I’d done the same. We’d both see it as a massive betrayal so for me YABU.

Stealth boast much

Good on you.

Lucky you, I wish I was in a position to do this. Out of interest how did you do it and why keep it a secret?

Well done you. Everyone needs a fuck off fund.

Just as a word of warning though, a relative died recently. They had lived very frugally indeed, to the detriment of their standards of living, over many years. They left an absolute fortune in cash- and a home so poorly maintained only a builder will want it. Do try and think about when you’ll have enough of a cushion & then enjoy the rest.

Wow, well done. I quite like a secret stash but end up spending it on the house or Christmas. I'm up to £800 between my plum account and savings account which is actually pathetic for a 46 year old woman!

Do you and your OH share your finances at all?

Whether you are unreasonable or not depends on your family circumstances. If you're scratching around for money and you have this massive pile, clearly YABU. If your DH is a twat and financially abusive then YANBU. So difficult to say without more info.

Define 'the last few years...' 5? 7 to 10? 25??? @LargeGnTPlease

Do you share finances? If so YABU.

Good for you! I'm impressed.

I’d be really upset if my husband had syphoned off £50k that could have been used to benefit the family and he’d be upset if I’d done the same. We’d both see it as a massive betrayal so for me YABU.

This ^^ Its very underhanded behaviour to squirrel so much money away that could be being spent as a family. I would think it a massive betrayal and wonder what other secrets you might be keeping from me if you were my partner.

Yes, YABVU.

Stealth boast much

Nothing stealth about it.

£10k, yes. Always good to have options.

But £50k? I’m another that would be furious.

Please be gentle ? .

I’d iron see it as a betrayal, poster wants to save and why not? It’s obviously not missed!!

I remember a lottery winner keeping it secret from her alcoholic husband as he would’ve spent it all destroying his own life!

That's way more that I'd be comfortable keeping secret from family. Agree context is needed. Also agree it is a stealth boast. Why tell strangers online?

I think it's only a problem is your other half has had to subsidize your joint outgoing's while you saved. If you both had the ability to save and the opportunity I say well done.

This ^^ Its very underhanded behaviour to squirrel so much money away that could be being spent as a family. I would think it a massive betrayal and wonder what other secrets you might be keeping from me if you were my partner.

We don't know the circumstances. She might be planning to fake her own death to get away from her cheatin', beatin' husband. Just like Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy.

It worked out well for her in the end, OP. She traded up.