Teen advice makes me worried

[ChipOnMyOvary]

I was reading this advice page for teenagers. AIBU to think it is a bit ott?
I find it a bit like girls are expected to put up with male mores. Am I a modern day Mary Whitehouse, or is this like actual grooming of pre-16 girls?

twitter.com/hubblevicky/status/1176758148721512448?s=21

There’s another thread running about this.

But it’s beyond fucking belief!

Ugh.

Who thinks this shit is acceptable
e for anyone, let alone teenagers.?

Surely it’s better that they’re looking it up on a curated website, as opposed to urban dictionary or the like? Seems informative and fairly approachable to me

Seems fine to me? I was seventeen when I first gave anal a try (didn’t much like it, but was curious!). Teenagers are gonna have sex and teenage girls are no less likely to want and need education around that than teenage boys. The idea that you should not pass on sexual health knowledge to teenage girls because it’s ‘male mores’ is a bit naive. Have you ever met or been a teenage girl? Just because anal sex isn’t your cup of tea doesn’t mean it’s some fringe niche awful thing that people need protecting from advice around.

This website is aimed at children under the age of consent. It shouldn't be normalising porn, nor anal sex. Or telling girls that they need to think about resources when they ask for a female HCP.

YANBU OP - I would hate my 12 year old to read this

Just out of interest Crystal, can I ask your age?

I’m early thirties.

I admit however I only saw the twitter OP linked, the screenshot about anal sex. Haven’t seen the actual advice column so can’t comment on that. But OP seems bothered by the anal sex advice.

I only ask because of the rise of porn and the internet, where males had easy access to see this type of stuff and try it on/expect this kind of thing and the dates tie in. You would have been a teen in the mid noughties.

I'm in my 40s, when boys found porn mags in bushes and passed them round and when I was a teen, it wouldn't have entered my head to let a boy shove his dick up my arse and actually nobody ever tried it with me.

It's the fact that it's almost expected now. It's grim as fuck.

I will certainly be educating my daughter on shit like this.

This is hideous.
No age of consent, normalising porn.
It's a paedophile's wet dream and has no place in our schools. Who wrote this?
This is about removing boundaries and placing girls in danger.

This is grooming.

I'm shocked. The bit about suggesting you might be a bit precious for asking for a female doctor is beyond the pale. We should teach girls they have the right to be examined by female HCP. We fought for these rights for good reasons.

Who is behind this?

I think it's written by someone called Jonny Hunt who is a SRE consultant apparently.

He also is responsible for teaching primary school children about masturbation.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7490415/Children-young-SIX-given-compulsory-self-touching-lessons.html

There are boundaries about what is acceptable for children. When teaching sex ed teachers are taught how to manage questions because there may be some that are age inappropriate / shouldn't be answered in front of a whole class for a variety of reasons,.
There are some dreadful sections on that website (amidst some sensible bits) that are grooming children to accept the unacceptable. Awful.

Porn - and easy free access - has a lot to answer for. Teenagers are being bombarded with ever increasing graphic images and ones which normalise violence towards women as part of sex. Some women enjoy hair pulling, being made to gag, anal and rough sex - but I wouldn’t say that’s the norm. However, watching any mainstream pornography would make you think otherwise and girls can be made to think they are ‘frigid’ if they don’t want to do those things. I work with teens and teach about enthusiastic consent, both partners enjoying sex and how to stop something you feel uncomfortable with. It’s important that both boys and girls are educated that the bodies, positions and relationships depicted in porn are unrealistic. The women mostly passive vessels who accept whatever is done to them - this is not healthy for anyone to watch, especially teens.
It can be really hard to find informative advice online for teens which is why they are woefully misinformed at times.

I'm in my 40s

Me too

Anal has definitely been a thing since before the internet

@PositiveVibez
Not commenting on the rest but im late 30s. Was a teen in the 90s, pre internet.... Just. Aged 15, anal sex was my idea and I instigated it.
Not all girls are coerced and need protecting but i do agree that male expectations have cjanged and not for the better

It's not the girls who need educating but the boys.
I find it really sad that children enjoying the innocence of childhood is an alien concept for these ' do gooders '
I'm supportive of teens being given factual sex education, but as I say, I believe the boys need re-educating.
Anal sex, like any other sexual act is fine so long as..
You're above the legal age.
You're not coerced into it.
You are a willing participant.

Of course anal sex has been around for longer than the internet. That isn't the point. The point is that it is being pushed as a normal part of an underage child's sex life, along with copraphilia.

Anal sex, apart from anything else, can lead to disastrous consequences for women having anal sex with men who treat their bodies like fuckholes: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3437385/

Children need to learn about consent, how to talk about it and how to feel comfortable about saying no. They don't need to be taught in school about the millions of paraphilias out there - they can find those out for themselves.

Are you asking if the Twitter person is unreasonable or the website it links to?

I have no problem whatsoever with what I have read so far on the SRE website. I have young teens and they can and do ask me things, and I am completely honest with them, but also tell them if I don't know the answer. This website may help them when I don't know the answer to any Q they may have. Equally this website may help those kids that don't feel comfortable asking their parents or carers Qs.

The website is called Respect Yourself, and therefore the message is not about coercion into taking part in anal sex if you don't want to. It certainly doesn't promote girls or women being used as "fuckholes".

Kids experiment sexually, not all of them wait dutifully until the legal age of consent where they live (which differs depending on where in the world you live anyway!). I’d far rather they have access to information and education around sex than not.

We should teach girls they have the right to be examined by female HCP.

They have the right to request a female HCP, and will often have to wait longer to see one than if they were okay seeing anyone. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to make it clear that if you want a female HCP you may be waiting longer, it’s the reality. Ignoring that reality doesn’t change it. Perhaps some readers will use that info to weigh up whether whatever they want to see a doctor for is urgent enough that it needs addressing with any HCP or whether it can wait for a specific gender. Doesn’t help anyone to pretend you will always receive the same speed of care with stipulations than if you were happy to see any qualified clinician.

A routine smear test and I wanted a woman? I might choose to wait an extra couple of weeks. An urgent issue such as suspecting I had some kind of vaginal infection or a worrying lump in my breast? Knowing that I’ll be seen faster but possibly by a male clinician lets me weigh up what’s important to me.

“Fuckholes”

Jesus Christ. That’s far more offensive and disgusting than anything I’ve seen so far via OP’s link.

But OP seems bothered by the anal sex advice

That's because it's aimed at 13 year olds, and the section on 'saying no' has been re-titled 'negotiating sex'....

Oh and cristal, the majority of MNers are female, so yes, of course they have been teenage girls...