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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teen advice makes me worried

295 replies

ChipOnMyOvary · 26/09/2019 01:43

I was reading this advice page for teenagers. AIBU to think it is a bit ott?
I find it a bit like girls are expected to put up with male mores. Am I a modern day Mary Whitehouse, or is this like actual grooming of pre-16 girls?

OP posts:
MoodyBitch · 26/09/2019 17:15

Righteo @UnoriginalUserName948 😆

InglouriousBasterd · 26/09/2019 17:23

My god, I worry for my little girl.

MoodyBitch · 26/09/2019 17:27

I worry for all girls if that's the state of play for them nowadays
@InglouriousBasterd

ShawshanksRedemption · 26/09/2019 17:34

@TruthOnTrial
No girl should have to expect that this will be expected of her.

Where does it say on the website that it should be expected of girls or telling boys to expect it of girls?

TruthOnTrial · 26/09/2019 17:36

Well hey kids heres the cool low down on what everyonesy up to, technically illegal but we wont worry about that

It is implicit with every porno word on there.

TruthOnTrial · 26/09/2019 17:37

I find it worrying that some actually believe this is an ok way to present facts to underage children, about what consenting adults kinks might be.

Datun · 26/09/2019 17:40

The man who wrote this is banging on about how fantastic pornography is and how the girls there have such high self-esteem, higher than average, at the same time as telling 13-year-olds about all the sexual practices involved in pornography and aren't they kewel?

Instead of saying that pornography is an abusive, misogynistic fiction, it's illegal for you to watch it, and illegal for you to do anything involved in it.

If all you are taking from this is that girls will be doing anal sex anyway, so best tell them that copious amounts of lube might stop it hurting, then I hope you're not in charge of any kind of sex ed literature.

Datun · 26/09/2019 17:42

Where does it say on the website that it should be expected of girls or telling boys to expect it of girls?

This is sex education, telling children how to get aroused by playing with faecal matter.

I'm sorry, did you think they were not recommending it?

HandsOffMyRights · 26/09/2019 17:46

Well said Datun.

TheAlternativeTentacle · 26/09/2019 17:49

Where does it say on the website that it should be expected of girls or telling boys to expect it of girls?

I fucking give up.

titchy · 26/09/2019 17:57

Communication is not a synonym for negotiation FFS. Communication is good. Negotiation by definition means the two parties (or more than two, cos hey, gang bangs are so life affirming aren't they...), want different things. That makes it bad.

If they'd have called that section 'communication' that would have been fine. But negotiation is a very specific choice of word to use. I wonder why...

InglouriousBasterd · 26/09/2019 18:20

@MoodyBitch agreed

Ereshkigal · 26/09/2019 18:32

If resources is your concern, using a female doctor for non intimate examination means a second member of staff isn't needed a chaperone. Every time I've been examined by a male doctor who needs to do so much as look at my stomach/chest he has asked a female nurse or HCA to come in. A female doctor has never. So asking for a female would actually be less wasteful of resources, as I am sure the nurse/HCA has other things to do too.

Great point that I've never thought about before.

TruthOnTrial · 26/09/2019 18:36

Agreed. I've never had a chaperone either for the same reason. No wasting of resources at all. All very efficient.

Ereshkigal · 26/09/2019 18:37

I find it worrying that some actually believe this is an ok way to present facts to underage children, about what consenting adults kinks might be.

Me too. Some people are spectacularly naive.

Datun · 26/09/2019 18:43

Me too. Some people are spectacularly naive.

There are any number of people who utterly rely on other peoples naivete.

ShawshanksRedemption · 26/09/2019 19:05

Ah I see. Some of you think that education means telling people how to do something.

@Ereshkigal Having a different opinion does not make me naive.

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 26/09/2019 19:17

Felching, fisting, anal.

Telling girls that they need to question why they feel uncomfortable being examined by a male.

'Nice and wet'.

The question from the '12 year old girl' who cannot stop masturbating to porn.

That's a whole lot of NOPE right there.

I would have serious concerns about anyone who thinks this is OK to present to young teens. It literally reads like it was written by a paedophile.

IAmALazyArse · 26/09/2019 19:18

Have I missed something? Why is everyone going on about the anal thing being aimed at girls?

IAmALazyArse · 26/09/2019 19:18

Some parts of it are quite weird though

LightsInOtherPeoplesHouses · 26/09/2019 19:20

And while it says that the age you are legally allowed to have sex is 16, this whole site is aimed at under 16s. So it's just a tick box.

There may be problems with thus website, and I've not looked at it, just read the comments here, but is aiming sex advice at under 16s a problem? Don't they need to know a lot of this stuff before they have sex? If you wait until they're 16, for quite a few of them it's going to be too late.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 26/09/2019 19:22

I have had and enjoyed anal sex, more than once. As a mature, adult woman able to weigh up the risk v the benefit, and at my instigation with a considerate partner happy for me to control the pace, duration, depth of penetration etc.

I still think this website is a fucking disgrace and reads like a pornographer’s wet dream.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 26/09/2019 19:28

I'm in my 40s, when boys found porn mags in bushes and passed them round and when I was a teen, it wouldn't have entered my head to let a boy shove his dick up my arse and actually nobody ever tried it with me

Same here. My heart breaks for the poor kids having to navigate their teens with porn available everywhere.

SirVixofVixHall · 26/09/2019 19:31

I agree with every post by Datun.

I have daughters in this target age group ( 12 and 14) and I am sickened by this.
It really feels like agenda driven, porn-positive grooming of children.
I have just had an email from their school that they should walk home in groups or pairs as the police have let the school know that two children in the county have been approached on their way home from school , in an attempt to get them into a car.

I feel so raging at men right now that I have to stop reading and go and get a stiff drink.
FUCK THIS SHIT

titchy · 26/09/2019 19:38

Having a different opinion does not make me naive.

Not recognising campaigning that seeks to normalise sexual activities which are dangerous physically and emotionally within a very young age group makes you EXTREMELY naive I'm afraid.

This isn't being done out of the kindness of someone's heart - there's a very dangerous agenda at play here. Check the backgrounds of those involved.