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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have hit her on the back of the leg with my hairbrush

303 replies

shesgrownhorns · 25/09/2019 08:12

Dd10, is angling for a day off. I gave her the day off on Monday because she was surrounded by snot rags and was hoarse. Some would've dosed her up and sent her in, but I'm a softie. She knows this and is today clearly swinging the lead. After listening to her loudly complaining while I'm trying to dry my hair I stopped the hairdryer and said 'You're not having a day off'. She KICKED ME and started to flounce off. I (still holding round spiky brush) swiftly administered a hard rap to her calf region using my brush. Screaming ensued. I told her she'd asked for it and that's what happens when you kick people. She didn't kick hard, but I don't think that's the point.

It's not very right on and I know I'll get flamed, but WIBU?

OP posts:
Queenofthestress · 25/09/2019 08:15

At her age my mum would have done the same to me, she'll think twice about kicking you now. I would have never ever kicked my mum because I knew what would happen, a swift clout for it.

GeneHuntLover · 25/09/2019 08:17

Yes YABU, violence is never the answer

DorotheaHomeAlone · 25/09/2019 08:17

So ah lashed out in a temper and you responded by lashing out in a temper? What lesson do you think she learnt there?

mbosnz · 25/09/2019 08:18

So ah lashed out in a temper and you responded by lashing out in a temper? What lesson do you think she learnt there?

Um, lash out in a temper at somebody and be prepared to get it served straight back to you? So if you don't like it, mebbe keep your feet and mitts to yourself?

Stressedout10 · 25/09/2019 08:21

Yabu and braking the law for using a weapon/implement (hair brush)

PennysPocket · 25/09/2019 08:21

Yes.
You know you are.

beefthief · 25/09/2019 08:22

Yeah, don't hit children.

user1483387154 · 25/09/2019 08:22

you hit your child with an object. that's really not good.

GeneHuntLover · 25/09/2019 08:23

And you describe it as a 'hard rap' so not a gentle tap either

GummyGoddess · 25/09/2019 08:24

You shouldn't have hit her, you're the adult. However I can't get too worked up about it, she kicked you and my automatic response would have been to slap away whatever hurt me as I would a biting insect. I have accidentally tried to swat away dc2 when he bit me while feeding and made me jump which made me feel bad but wasn't deliberate.

Greysparkles · 25/09/2019 08:24

I'm with you OP, if mine dared to assault me at that age then they would get the same!

GrimalkinsCrone · 25/09/2019 08:24

Yes you were. My mother used a hairbrush as punishment regularly in the 60s and it bloody hurt. And no, it made me furious, not compliant.

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 25/09/2019 08:24

Oh gawd I clearly need help. Should I call social services on myself?

(I'm not joking by the way)

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 25/09/2019 08:25

Way to teach her violence is acceptable op.

Likethebattle · 25/09/2019 08:25

You both need anger management techniques.

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 25/09/2019 08:26

So what do I do to try to repair any damage that I've done? I've already apologised Sad

OP posts:
housemdwaswrong · 25/09/2019 08:27

Using a weapon??? Seriously?

Stressedout10 · 25/09/2019 08:28

@shesgrownhorns
No the school will and the police if she tells anyone what you did, and I hope she does tell

DowntonCrabby · 25/09/2019 08:28

No of course you shouldn’t call SS.

Hitting in retaliation to her violence though isnt a great lesson.

GrimalkinsCrone · 25/09/2019 08:29

Oh, I dunno. You have 4 posters agreeing with you that responding with violence to your daughter is acceptable. Just be prepared for her to learn to hit harder, and to solve other problems with physical responses.
She’s ten. How the fuck will you handle her as a teenager?

CandyLeBonBon · 25/09/2019 08:29

Tricky one op. In the real world if she'd landed a kick on someone else she would rightly have received similar in return.

No she shouldn't have kicked you. That is completely unacceptable behaviour. But now you can't take the moral high ground because you retaliated but I don't think it's an issue for social services and you need to ditch the sackcloth and ashes. Chalk it up to experience and both work in better ways to express your anger.

CandyLeBonBon · 25/09/2019 08:30

And no school would not call the police 🙄

bloodywhitecat · 25/09/2019 08:31

It's not great but you know that, what's your relationship like with her generally?

MaxNormal · 25/09/2019 08:33

At ten she's way too old to be hitting or kicking ffs. She got what she deserved. You shouldn't have apologised.

cheeserolls · 25/09/2019 08:33

Clearly not ideal but her kicking/ hurting you is absolutely not ok and she needs to get that sooner rather than later.

It's a one off, take the chance to model making an apology for being in the wrong but ensure she doesn't thinks she's got away with the kick. Make a clear and severe consequence now for any further kicking / hurting you or anyone else.

I'm sure you aren't a child beater or need SS at this point. You are human with human reactions.

I have a ten yo and I know how they can push our buttons. Have some Brew

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