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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sitting in the kitchen with baby and toddler at 6am...

147 replies

OggOgg · 22/09/2019 06:33

We have 4 DC. Our youngest is 1 and wakes up a few times a night. Our just turned 3 year old wakes up very early in the morning. Usually I get up in the night and up early as DH works and does school runs. I had my lie in yesterday.

MIL is staying for the weekend and is sleeping in the sitting room.

I was up 5 times in the night and have been awake since 5. I then had to come down to the kitchen to sit with energetic toddler and baby until MIL wakes up. Sitting here now fuming as everyone sleeps. It’s usually only bearable as they can play or watch TV in the sitting room until everyone wakes up.

Had furious row with Dh just before 6am as he accused me of whinging about the situation.

Aibu?

OP posts:
takeasadsongandmakeitbetter · 22/09/2019 06:36

Not at all!!!! I would also be fuming. If DH was up to argue he should have got up himself... it's his mother visiting and taking up to only comfortable early morning room!

I would take both DC to your room and let them climb all over / dribble all DH!

Thanks you have my full sympathy!

I've been up since 5.30 and all through the night but I'm on my comfy sofa watching cartoons which is much more bearable!

Monty27 · 22/09/2019 06:38

I'd have given her my bedroom. At least then they'd have been able to cwutch up with you on the sofa.
In fact why's your dh not helping?
I'd wake them up but that's probably not helpful OP Blush

GoodStuffAnnie · 22/09/2019 06:38

You are right to be fuming.

I’m sorry for you.

It won’t last forever. If I were u I would get on a war footing eg I wouldn’t let mil stay for couple of years till you’re out the shitty bit. All hands on deck and all that.

category12 · 22/09/2019 06:38

Why doesn't your dh do any of the night waking?

Salene · 22/09/2019 06:38

I would of giving my MIL my bedroom and made a bed for husband and I in the sitting room. As I wouldn't have a guest on a sofa and it would solve the early morning issues with kids and watching TV. But I wouldn't be angry, what you can't expect her to get up at 5am.? Surely.

Newmumatlast · 22/09/2019 06:39

A little bit in that it's a one off that MIL has come to stay and you had your lie in yesterday (presumably DH was the one to get up early). Presumably you also agreed to MIL staying at the house rather than in a b&b? Can you use your mobile to show the kids some kids TV on catch up? Can do so on a quieter volume and tbh if MIL wakes or is disturbed then it's not unreasonable imo as she chose to stay knowing she has young grandchildren who get up early - provided you are trying to keep it down. I should also say though I think you're being a bit unreasonable I totally understand your frustration and once your mind is tired and in that point of view it's hard to get out of that funk x

Dottysmum18 · 22/09/2019 06:39

No my dd wakes at 6 every morning and my partner sleeps on the sofa every night so im stuck in the bed room trying to entertain a 1 year old untill he wakes roughly 10am and when i asked for a lay in once a week he said no ( i work pt and he doesnt atm due to a health issue )

666onmyhead · 22/09/2019 06:39

Ask them to mind the children ( away from home ) this afternoon so you can have a long nap .

category12 · 22/09/2019 06:39

Oh sorry, didn't read properly

December2019 · 22/09/2019 06:40

I'd let your 3 year old loose in the living room to be honest! 😂
If my little one is up... everyone is up

BouleBaker · 22/09/2019 06:41

Can’t believe your DH! I too would take them back to bed with me and let them watch CBeebies on iPlayer. Preferably with the device resting on your DH’s head.

Original poster
OggOgg · 22/09/2019 06:41

Thanks all Flowers. DH did offer to get up but it was more of a ‘I’ll fucking do it then’ and I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it.

OP posts:
Normanpriceeh · 22/09/2019 06:42

We don't have a spare room for guests so anyone staying with us stays in the living room and I also have an early rising toddler, but in that circumstance he comes and sits in our room with both of us. I certainly don't sit alone in the kitchen with him at 6am!

MustardScreams · 22/09/2019 06:42

Take them up to bed and put something on the iPad. No need for you to be fuming in the kitchen about it. Does mil stay often?

Original poster
OggOgg · 22/09/2019 06:44

The problem with her in our room would be me not hearing the baby during the night. She also stays up late watching TV and we go to bed at 9:30!

OP posts:
NoSauce · 22/09/2019 06:51

What are you actually fuming at? You know your 3 year old wakes up early and that MIL was asleep in the front room. Surely it’s no surprise that you’re sat in the kitchen?

You had a lie in yesterday too? Why are you so angry? Confused

Original poster
OggOgg · 22/09/2019 06:54

I’m angry that I’ve been up 5 times in the night and awake since 5 and now having to sit in the kitchen so everyone else can sleep. Mainly angry at DH for the row this morning but also annoyed at MIL for staying up late watching TV then getting up late while everyone has to tiptoe.

I may be irrational through lack of sleep.

OP posts:
Owlsintowels · 22/09/2019 06:55

DH can do one, his mum has disrupted your pattern, he has to take equal share of the consequences

millmoo · 22/09/2019 06:58

Can’t you go and lie in the children’s room ?

NoSauce · 22/09/2019 06:59

I’m sorry you’re tired and feeling bad but you have said that you get up in the night as DH works and does the school run so it’s not a new thing you getting up.

If MIL is having to sleep on the sofa in the lounge it’s hardly fair to expect her not to watch TV! Give it a bit longer then go and see if she wants a cup of tea and ask if you can put the TV on for the DC.

Have a coffee and if possible get your head down later on.

adaline · 22/09/2019 06:59

I don't think you can expect guests to get up at 5/6am just because your small children are up at that time!

Take the children back upstairs to your bedroom and let them play with something in the bed with you guys. No need to sit downstairs in silence for hours!

Original poster
OggOgg · 22/09/2019 07:00

If they’re upstairs they’ll wake up DH and the older DC which isn’t fair as DC’s have had a long week at school.

OP posts:
parrotonthesofa · 22/09/2019 07:01

You should have just made him get up. You did the night wakings = he gets up. He sounds very selfish.

MustardScreams · 22/09/2019 07:01

7am isn’t getting up late!

You need to have a contingency in place for situations like this. Otherwise your anger is just going to make it a horrible day for everyone, and it’s really not that big of a thing tbh.

PennysPocket · 22/09/2019 07:01

You are being unfair.
Sounds like the row with DH was because you woke him up moaning that you have to sit in the kitchen.
You had your lie in yesterday.
Also your pissed at your guest because the only place you are happy for her to sleep is the living room but you want her asleep by 9:30pm and awake by 5am Hmm

Why are you not in the children's room you can put TV or you tube on your phone?