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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sitting in the kitchen with baby and toddler at 6am...

147 replies

OggOgg · 22/09/2019 06:33

We have 4 DC. Our youngest is 1 and wakes up a few times a night. Our just turned 3 year old wakes up very early in the morning. Usually I get up in the night and up early as DH works and does school runs. I had my lie in yesterday.

MIL is staying for the weekend and is sleeping in the sitting room.

I was up 5 times in the night and have been awake since 5. I then had to come down to the kitchen to sit with energetic toddler and baby until MIL wakes up. Sitting here now fuming as everyone sleeps. It’s usually only bearable as they can play or watch TV in the sitting room until everyone wakes up.

Had furious row with Dh just before 6am as he accused me of whinging about the situation.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
OggOgg · 22/09/2019 07:01

This has really made me rethink Christmas! No overnight guests!

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 22/09/2019 07:02

Maybe get a second hand iPad and baby monitor. Your mil can watch tv on the iPad and you can hear the baby through the monitor from downstairs. Would it be too much of a disturbance to have the baby sleep in with you in the living room while your mil is staying?

Baguetteaboutit · 22/09/2019 07:02

7am is a perfectly reasonable time to get up in a house with babies and toddlers. Go and reclaim your living room.

Monty27 · 22/09/2019 07:03

Don't have guests in your lounge then. Simple.

Landlubber2019 · 22/09/2019 07:04

How long is your mil staying? If only last night,you negotiated poorly and should not have had a lie in yesterday. Surely you knew this was a possibility , if I was you get dressed go quietly to the park (which i have done many times at this time of day) and when toddler naps go back to bed

blackcat86 · 22/09/2019 07:04

Make sure you get some time to yourself later. You're allowed to be a bit unreasonable when you've been up and down all night be everyone being sleep deprived wont help (which I'm sure you know). I've been up since 4:40am and not even with DD (13 months). I heard the monitor crap out and was too paranoid to go back to sleep in case she woke and I didnt hear her. All very irrational but there you go. Meanwhile DH snores away. It was allegedly my lay in yesterday although somehow I ended up answering a million questions before getting up to do the washing...

NoSauce · 22/09/2019 07:05

I doubt MIL slept well either. Sleeping on the sofa, hearing the OP getting up 5 times to a crying baby then getting up with two children very early. I doubt she’d want to sleep over again!

rosegoldivy · 22/09/2019 07:06

Bang kitchen cupboards loudly, slam doors, let the wee one run absolute riot, give them a pot and a wooden spoon and show them how to play drums...

OHHHHH SORRRRYYYY MIL DID WE WAKE YOU????... ... Well if your up I suppose wel just come in the living room 😂😂😂😂

GiveMeHope103 · 22/09/2019 07:06

But you had your lie in yesterday? yabu and selfish to row with your dh on his lie in. your mil is already sleeping in the lounge so where else do you expect her to go?

Claphands · 22/09/2019 07:07

Yanbu, toddler woke me up earlier and I couldn’t get back to sleep, I’d just started nodding off when she woke up-said ‘maybe Daddy can get up with you’ And he’s now in a strip that he’s had to do it inspite of the fact that I’ve been doing it every morning since she was born. The twat

December2019 · 22/09/2019 07:07

If I was sleeping over at somebody's house with 2 small children I would not be expecting to have a lie in the next morning so I wouldn't be watching tv until daft o'clock at night... I agree reclaim your living room and have 2 coffees 😂

NoSauce · 22/09/2019 07:09

rosegoldivy I presume you’re joking? I mean nobody would be intentionally so rude to their family when they’d made them sleep in the sofa all night, would they?

Medievalist · 22/09/2019 07:11

What December19 said. And don't have guests in the living room overnight. Especially not at xmas! That's really not on until your children can sleep through.

Mrscog · 22/09/2019 07:11

You know what I’d drag some coats on all of you and get out for a super early walk. Don’t get the kids dressed just pop outerwear and wellies on them (baby in pushchair anyway?

You’ll feel better after an hour of fresh air and people might be up by the time you’re back.

Onescaredmuma · 22/09/2019 07:13

You are not unreasonable interestingly my MIL is also sleeping in the sitting room only she's not sleeping as my dd1 is in there watching TV, 7 year old gets herself up but even when dd was a toddler and she stayed she would go straight down to grandma who would get up at stupid o clock in the morning to spend time with her. She also took a turn trying to get my 1 year old DS to sleep last night he's on steroids at the moment and completely loopy! We just do our routine MIL fits in with us and is incredibly helpful while she's here.
I'd just let the kids in and say you couldn't keep them out any longer or they would be bouncing off the walls and they need some toys.

Chottie · 22/09/2019 07:14

I'm a MiL and I would be mortified that you hadn't woken me up to help out. I would entertain the GC, make you a cup of coffee and send you back to bed.

rosegoldivy · 22/09/2019 07:14

@nosauce awww ffs. Lol of course I'm joking.

Lighten up lol

LisaSimpsonsbff · 22/09/2019 07:14

I don't really understand what you thought what would happen? Surely it was obvious that if she slept in the living room it would be a bit of a pain in the morning? Did DH invite MIL to stay without asking you?

Palaver1 · 22/09/2019 07:15

Please don’t get more worked up about this I’m sure you can find a solution that will work what specifically do you want to happen mum in laws not leaving so count that out.
If your mum was there what would you do.
Once again don’t take your anger out on the wrong person.

NoSauce · 22/09/2019 07:16

Phew I thought you were agreeing with the OP for a minute Rose.

GinTonic123 · 22/09/2019 07:17

I think the previous suggestion of offering MIL your bedroom and you sleeping in the lounge was good. Maybe you need to reconsider having overnight guests whilst the youngest two are in this phase? I think you need to put your needs as a family first. Most close family members can understand and accept the reason. It doesn’t have to be forever.

MariusJosipovic · 22/09/2019 07:19

I think YABU as you and your DP have taken one day each at the weekend to get up early and you had your lie in yesterday.

That said I 1000x sympathise and feel for you - I also have a 1 and 3 year old who wake/get up early and it is gruelling and infuriating and exhausting and makes me into a horrible snappy cow. I've had many middle of the night/early morning emotional breakdowns.

Hopefully you can get a bit of time to yourself later.

MeridianB · 22/09/2019 07:19

7am is a perfectly reasonable time to get up in a house with babies and toddlers. Go and reclaim your living room.

This^^

What did your DH do with the little ones when he got up early with them yesterday? I bet he didn’t sit quietly in the kitchen!

rosegoldivy · 22/09/2019 07:19

@nosauce it is pretty funny to think about thou 😂

Though I wouldn't be brave enough to do that to my dragon MIL

Metempsychosis · 22/09/2019 07:20

I get that you are in a no fun situation through no fault of your own but I wouldn’t blame MIL. It’s just one of those things.