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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sitting in the kitchen with baby and toddler at 6am...

147 replies

OggOgg · 22/09/2019 06:33

We have 4 DC. Our youngest is 1 and wakes up a few times a night. Our just turned 3 year old wakes up very early in the morning. Usually I get up in the night and up early as DH works and does school runs. I had my lie in yesterday.

MIL is staying for the weekend and is sleeping in the sitting room.

I was up 5 times in the night and have been awake since 5. I then had to come down to the kitchen to sit with energetic toddler and baby until MIL wakes up. Sitting here now fuming as everyone sleeps. It’s usually only bearable as they can play or watch TV in the sitting room until everyone wakes up.

Had furious row with Dh just before 6am as he accused me of whinging about the situation.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Tumbleweed101 · 22/09/2019 08:03

I’d have sent them in to see grandma and gone back to bed 🤣. I always imagine that if you’re going to stay with young grandchildren you’d expect to be woken early?

drspouse · 22/09/2019 08:03

My DM despite her flaws (see my thread) used to have the sofa bed in our old house and was fine with toddler DCs coming in to see her.

custardbear · 22/09/2019 08:05

Put over night guests in one of the children's bedrooms and have the kids sleep in with each other - that way you can get some comfortable space in the morning
InHATE when people offer to sleep in my lounge!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/09/2019 08:06

At the weekends, whoever gets the lie in does the night waking. Maybe you need to implement this.

cansu · 22/09/2019 08:07

Anyone who is sleeping in the living area of a house where there are toddlers knows they get up early and therefore they will be disturbed. Let the kids put the TV on and they can go and sit in there. She can carry on dozing or she can get up.

Uniformuniformuniform · 22/09/2019 08:09

I don't have the best MIL in the world by a long shot. But when she visited she would sleep in the living room and if the kids woke up early they would go down snuggle up with their Nana and watch TV. She loved it. They got to watch TV and I got a lie in that I have never had before. It was great. But if your mil isn't up for that... No more over night guests or just suck it up for a few days

boptist · 22/09/2019 08:11

How did your DH handle the morning yesterday?

My mum was like this - all fuming and martyrdom.

Elodie2019 · 22/09/2019 08:11

Stop tiptoeing around!!
Your MIL has come to stay in a house full of young children! They get up stupidly early so why hide the fact? I'm not saying you should barge in and switch the tv on but go about things normally in the rest of the house.

NeverTwerkNaked · 22/09/2019 08:11

Yanbu to be fed up, or miserable, or struggling. That sounds exhausting.

But I am not sure who you could be fuming with? You had your lie in yesterday so it's not DH turn. MIL is sleeping on a sofa which probably wasn't exactly her first choice but she hasn't complained by the sound of things.

NoSauce · 22/09/2019 08:13

Anyone who is sleeping in the living area of a house where there are toddlers knows they get up early and therefore they will be disturbed. Let the kids put the TV on and they can go and sit in there. She can carry on dozing or she can get up

Well she’s already been woken up now so your post is beside the point. I doubt she will sleep over again in a hurry. Talk about making someone feel welcome.

Elodie2019 · 22/09/2019 08:15

Missed your update! Glad MIL is up!! She obviously knows there's no lying in at your house! Good for her!

scubadive · 22/09/2019 08:24

Don’t keep them quiet, wake up MIL,in future explain our need the room early in the morning and so if she stays she needs to go to bed early.

Sgphe’ll soon stop staying up late if you wake her early.

WhyBirdStop · 22/09/2019 08:26

Don't have overnight guests of you dint have a room for them. People who've had children a while forget that even 7am is early for a weekend, I used to think 8am was early for a Sunday! If you intend to have her stay definitely either get a baby monitor and you and DH sleep in the living room or when the young ones wake you put them in bed with you and DH upstairs. A story or something on a tablet (not something if usually day but a one off won't hurt). You're tired and being a bit irrational, I'm not sure what else you expected with the set up you have this time.

adaline · 22/09/2019 08:26

@HappyParent2000 people tend not to post about how wonderful their lives are.

You tend to post on forums when you have a problem or have had an argument so it's always going to massively weighed towards the negative!

Juog · 22/09/2019 08:28

It is bloody awful, I remember it well, nothing is right when your poor body isn't getting enough sleep, also the added guilt of hubby works full time you only part time (none of us should feel guilty by the way) bear in mind it will not last, you won't be able to get them out of bed soon stay strong and sod the housework get as much rest as you can.

Arkbuilder · 22/09/2019 08:31

The competitive tiredness is just so awful. You had your lie in. It stinks that you had to get up so much in the night but it's not DHs fault. I'd aim for a nap later while DH takes them out.

PeoplesPoet · 22/09/2019 08:38

YANBU. No sleep is awful. No sleep with young kids, constantly, is the worst.

My 7 year old gets up at 6 every weekend even though I tell him repeatedly this is mammy's only time to rest.

There's always a "disaster"... comes into my room loudly "I can't find this/that, I need a drink (he can't use the tap the pressure is INSANE)... this morning his door got jammed so he had to bang on it with both fists, causing 3 year old to wake up. That was it. All at around 6.

Next door just had one of their "all night club nights" their loudest yet. Their singing sounded like football chants, every song. I got no sleep obviously. I have no OH to help (he lives miles away and gets sleep ins every weekend, currently abroad with new gf) I'm constantly fuming and on the point of breaking!

PeoplesPoet · 22/09/2019 08:41

Is your dh working today? If not then I have no idea why he thinks it’s ok for you to do all night wakings and the early morning.

Looking after kids is "working all day" too (and in a lot of cases it's the harder day!) Couples should take it in turns with the lie ins.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 22/09/2019 08:50

Couples should take it in turns with the lie ins.

But they did, and OP had hers yesterday. It's a bit much to take hers and then complain the system is unfair when it's his turn - and clearly he didn't get a nice undisturbed sleep if they were arguing at 6am!

Reallybadidea · 22/09/2019 08:56

If her DH is getting a full night's sleep every night then then he should be getting getting up with the children both ornings at the weekend I reckon.

WellButterMyArse · 22/09/2019 08:59

Yes, if you are doing multiple night wakings every night then you should be getting both of the lie ins.

Ragwort · 22/09/2019 09:01

Personally I agree with Jingling, I am 60+ and my days of sleeping on a sofa are long over, and fortunately I am not a grandma but can’t think of anything worse than staying over in a house with four children, not much fun for me (& more important, very disruptive for the host family) but luckily I could afford a B & B, not everyone can.

user764329056 · 22/09/2019 09:10

Some right old miseries on here, I stay over regularly with daughter, son in law and three grandkids, I choose to sleep on sofa, little ones come and snuggle in when they wake up and we watch TV, it’s lovely

Tiredtessy · 22/09/2019 09:24

I would not be keeping quiet or out of the living room, if you stay at peoples houses who have earlier rises you have to suck it up and get up.

WellButterMyArse · 22/09/2019 09:27

It can be hard work having house guests when you've not much room and the children are very small, but I think this is more about OPs general exhaustion. With multiple wake ups each night and doing the early get ups 6 days out of 7, there is very little in the tank for occasions like this. DH needs to step up.