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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel my husband's secret sex toy for himself?

323 replies

Tacklesbarbie · 15/09/2019 22:47

I've NC'd for this as it's quite revealing!

My DH and two DCs share an Amazon Prime account. We've recently ordered a lot of back to school stuff and I was checking order statuses today.

One of them was for what I initially thought was a vibrator as, until a few years ago my DH, on occasions, would 'surprise' me with a gift of one (I never requested it). Our sex life used to be great, but in recent years has got much less exciting due to work pressures and age etc, but recently picked up nicely on holiday.

When I looked more closely though it turned out to be a long vibrating tube designed to look like a vagina at the entrance which you obviously stick your penis into! I was mortified and repulsed and promptly cancelled it (it cost £42 from our joint account!).

As my DH set up the account all order notifications are emailed to him, so he must know what I've done, but has been extra breezy all day. We therefore both know what the other one knows but can't talk about it!

I can't help but feel absolutely reviled at the thought of him wanting to use this thing but, on reflection, AIBU? IME if a male partner discovered his female partner had ordered a vibrator he'd be thrilled and turned on, so you could argue why is the reverse so repulsive to me? There is just something desperate and emasculating about the idea of him using this thing, probably because we've typically used a vibrator as a part of the sex we've had together (I've rarely used one alone).

Just when I was thinking he found me sexy again and was looking forward to being intimate with him, this has made me recoil from him. He tried to instigate sex tonight and I've politely made excuses.

I feel really awkward about talking to him about it and definitely can't speak to friends about it either, so wondered what people on Mumsnet thought!


If you've found this page in your search of the best couples sex toys that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best sex toys for couples useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:
angell84 · 17/09/2019 17:14

This is front page of the mirror. That is so funny

Jesaminecollins · 17/09/2019 17:24

@angell84

Is it? ha ha I will just look at it Grin

Jesaminecollins · 17/09/2019 17:26

Here is the link

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-mortified-husbands-x-rated-20079210

Jesaminecollins · 17/09/2019 17:27

The sexy pictures make it more interesting lol

Leftielefterson · 17/09/2019 17:36

Op you’re famous, well, kind of.

Thankgoodness1 · 17/09/2019 17:49

They shouldn’t be allowed to publish this.

Thankgoodness1 · 17/09/2019 17:49

What if the husband reads it?!?
That’s wrong.

Jesaminecollins · 17/09/2019 17:54

@Thankgoodness1

Yes it is wrong but perhaps he might learn not to buy sex toys behind his wife's back because it might end up as front page news in The Mirror

I just hope he won't be identified by this because he will be made fun of by his friends etc.

dowehaveastalker · 17/09/2019 18:01

Yabu as he’s entitled to toys too.

Yanbu to have a word that he really shouldn’t order from an account children has access to.

RavenLG · 17/09/2019 18:02

before you ask I don't use one

Maybe you should try one @Jesaminecollins it might relax you a bit Grin

dowehaveastalker · 17/09/2019 18:03

Oh crap - OP i hope he doesn’t get identified now the papers have picked it up. I would be fucking mortified.

Jesaminecollins · 17/09/2019 18:08

@RavenLG

I might get one for my birthday - my husband has asked me what I want because he hasn't a clue what to get mr lol

Jesaminecollins · 17/09/2019 18:10

get me this thread has made me laugh out loud and my son has asked what I am looking at ... I said I am watching a Peter Kay comedy sketch

angell84 · 17/09/2019 18:29

It is so funny that it is on the mirror.

They seem to like the sex threads

CandyLeBonBon · 17/09/2019 18:41

Poor OP. Her marriage is possibly in tatters and the mirror seeks to profit from that? Confused

siring1 · 17/09/2019 21:30

Poor husband!

All the poor guy wanted was a good quaility wank and now he's a national figure of fun.

ABIU to think if he finds out he has every right to be about a million times more pissed off with his wife than she is with him?

NekoShiro · 18/09/2019 09:36

You married him and have had kids with him, but you can't talk to him about a sex toy? Yeah it was bought by himself 'secretly' but maybe it's because he knew this would be your reaction, do you really not feel comfortable enough with your husband to talk about this?

Why don't you look into tenga eggs? Then you can use that on him while he's using the vibrator on you? Bring it back into a couple situation and move forward from this

SmellbowSpaceBowl · 18/09/2019 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mysterian · 18/09/2019 12:16

Hope it all works out OP.

...but I can't get over:
Can we not call sex tools "toys" please?

I was born in the 70s. I'm worried in case my rude bits are imperial and I can only find metric sex tools.

Jesaminecollins · 18/09/2019 16:10

I hate to tell the OP but I have been on a US site and this has been mentioned on there. This thread has gone viral.

verticality · 18/09/2019 16:20

@Mysterian Grin Grin Grin

MyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 16/10/2019 17:27

How are things working out for you two now?

ReadyPayerTwo · 25/10/2019 14:44

@MyFavouriteWasteOfTime I only just saw your post - I'd been telling a friend how this thread had gone viral and then Googled an approximation of the title to check how easy it was to find, and it was the first entry!!

Anyway, it actually did us the world of good - Mumsnet at its best I think, so thank you (all)!

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