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To be furious with this text!

279 replies

Caramelblonde70 · 12/09/2019 22:47

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I've been dating a guy for nearly 5 months. He is in the process of divorce and has 3DC. I'm divorced and have been on my own with my 4 year old DS for 2.5 years. We've been getting on really well and feelings are developing and we're getting closer too. I decided it was time for him to meet my little boy so we all went out for pizza together at the beginning of the week. I thought it went really well! My son thought new guy was funny and it was lovely to see them getting on. After the lunch we went our separate ways home. 15 minutes later my guy texted to say ffs he'd missed his train home and would be late picking his sons up. I said did he want us to give him a lift home (he lives in a different town about 12 miles away) and he declined. I said I thought the lunch was a success. No reply. After pushing for a response he said he wasn't going to lie but it was hard for him seeing me with my son, that he was very affectionate towards me and he couldn't see there was room for him! He said hes used to just being with me and having all my attention. I was completely shocked at this admission. We've barely spoken since but I raised the subject again this evening and he said a relationship should have balance and basically that's where we differ as he wouldn't necessarily put his kids first and that he'd weigh up all the factors! I said my boy will always come first and he replied saying he didn't like the sound of that and that's what his soon to be ex wife used to say! WTAF?! I'm upset but my anger is out weighing this! What do you all think? Hes 46 btw and a Dad which is why I'm even more shocked.

OP posts:
kalinkafoxtrot45 · 12/09/2019 22:49

Well, I think you can see why he is exH to his ex-wife...

BunnyColvin · 12/09/2019 22:49

Manchild. You know the answer. Run like hell.

MyCatHatesEverybody · 12/09/2019 22:49

He's an arsehole.

VimFuego101 · 12/09/2019 22:50

Lucky escape...

justasking111 · 12/09/2019 22:50

Oh show him the door. No wonder his first marriage failed. No real father would be thinking like this. My friend has just escaped a relationship like this after ten years of walking on tenterhooks because her partner was resentful of her children and grandchildren and did what he could to drive a wedge between them.

HarryYerAWizard · 12/09/2019 22:51

He’s in the middle of a divorce? After having three kids? Shocker.

TeaForTara · 12/09/2019 22:51

He is jealous of a four year old? Doesn't bode well, I'm afraid. Of course you should put your son first.

Bapman · 12/09/2019 22:51

Yeah you’re got a lucky escape Op

BlueChangeling · 12/09/2019 22:52

He seems very immature. I wouldn't envision a very happy future with someone who thinks like that.

Divebar · 12/09/2019 22:53

Wow. Just wow. What an idiot he sounds. Had his nose pushed out of joint by a 5 year old. It’s not even as if he’s a single man and isn’t even used to children. ( the only thing I would say in mitigation on his behalf is that some people sacrifice everything about themselves for their children and perhaps that’s what he meant about his wife)

TriciaH87 · 12/09/2019 22:53

In other words it's OK when it's fun but his using your children as an excuse not to commit. His selfish wants all attention on him and the only reason his marriage failed is because his wife put the kids above him and so she should they are solely dependant on their parents. One of whom has already told you they are not his priority he puts himself first. His not what you want around you child

Doesitevenmatternow · 12/09/2019 22:54

Ugh. Run.

CatsOnCatnip · 12/09/2019 22:54

Insecure dickhead. YANBU to be shocked, but be grateful he’s shown his true colours this early on. Urgh.

BaronessBomburst · 12/09/2019 22:54

He's selfish.
Not relationship material at all.

Drogosnextwife · 12/09/2019 22:55

Don't waste anymore time on him. He won't be good to your son if he is already talking like that. Get rid fast. Tell him he's right, you don't have room for a spoilt man child.

Stompythedinosaur · 12/09/2019 22:56

Jesus, run for the hills. He is telling you what sort of a person he is!

ShellbyBell · 12/09/2019 22:56

Speechless!

zxcvhjkl · 12/09/2019 22:56

That's a shocking attitude. You've had a lucky escape there OP!

Onwards and upwards Wine

EmmiJay · 12/09/2019 22:56

Red flags all over the gaff🚨🚨🚨

BetweenTheMoon · 12/09/2019 22:57

As the fabulous Florence Given would say 'it's a wonderful day to dump him'.

RUN.

butterandbread · 12/09/2019 22:57

Unfortunately, I can’t imagine how a relationship would ever progress, sorry OP :(

How would it work living with this man? Constant arguments about how you allocate your time? (why did you take so long putting DS to bed, it’s eaten into your evening together, etc)

I’d cut and run if I were you! (Very baffling attitude from someone who’s a parent himself, I agree)

MumW · 12/09/2019 22:58

As is often said on here, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them"

Areyoufree · 12/09/2019 22:58

Just sayin’...

To be furious with this text!
Sunshine93 · 12/09/2019 22:59

Well at least he was honest. Now you can move on. It's sad that he's met your son though. Did you just say he was a friend? Do you think he will ask about him if you just don't mention him again.

As a rule I would say any man I was ever with should always put his kids before me.

Sorry this has happened.

lavenderbluedilly · 12/09/2019 22:59

1 - he’s jealous of a 4 year old, that actually scares me a little
2 - he he told you this by text.

I agree with others who say run for the hills! If this was all based on a fun outing where your DS was happy and enjoying himself, imagine what he’ll be like when your DS is ill or misbehaving. I’d be really worried about a man who is jealous of a little child Sad

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