Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious with this text!

279 replies

Caramelblonde70 · 12/09/2019 22:47

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I've been dating a guy for nearly 5 months. He is in the process of divorce and has 3DC. I'm divorced and have been on my own with my 4 year old DS for 2.5 years. We've been getting on really well and feelings are developing and we're getting closer too. I decided it was time for him to meet my little boy so we all went out for pizza together at the beginning of the week. I thought it went really well! My son thought new guy was funny and it was lovely to see them getting on. After the lunch we went our separate ways home. 15 minutes later my guy texted to say ffs he'd missed his train home and would be late picking his sons up. I said did he want us to give him a lift home (he lives in a different town about 12 miles away) and he declined. I said I thought the lunch was a success. No reply. After pushing for a response he said he wasn't going to lie but it was hard for him seeing me with my son, that he was very affectionate towards me and he couldn't see there was room for him! He said hes used to just being with me and having all my attention. I was completely shocked at this admission. We've barely spoken since but I raised the subject again this evening and he said a relationship should have balance and basically that's where we differ as he wouldn't necessarily put his kids first and that he'd weigh up all the factors! I said my boy will always come first and he replied saying he didn't like the sound of that and that's what his soon to be ex wife used to say! WTAF?! I'm upset but my anger is out weighing this! What do you all think? Hes 46 btw and a Dad which is why I'm even more shocked.

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 12/09/2019 23:00

as he wouldn't necessarily put his kids first

You have your answer right there, you are fundamentally incompatible.

PurpleFlower1983 · 12/09/2019 23:00

Wow! Very lucky escape! Block and move on!

Bumbags · 12/09/2019 23:00

Very very lucky escape.

Honestly, wouldn’t you rather be on your own than with a twat like this?

46 year old man child.

Please dump him.

TokyoSushi · 12/09/2019 23:00

And that, as they say, was that.

CodenameVillanelle · 12/09/2019 23:01

I think you know what to do...

acatcalledjohn · 12/09/2019 23:02

Not relationship material at all.

Nor the best father material by the sound of things...

GruciusMalfoy · 12/09/2019 23:03

What a dick. At least he's made it clear before your son got to know him much more. Bet his ex wife is glad to be rid of him.

ashtrayheart · 12/09/2019 23:03

I'm only surprised he was so upfront about it!
Makes it easier to ditch him.

SleepWarrior · 12/09/2019 23:03

At least he was brutally honest with his ridiculous feelings before you moved in together and your little boy got attached to the 'nice and funny' man that mummy likes.

Sorry, must be a kick in the teeth for you though Flowers.

converseandjeans · 12/09/2019 23:04

Good job you found out now before it progresses any further. Such a shame as I think a lot of men struggle with not being given full attention. I think you should get rid.

redcupbluecup · 12/09/2019 23:04

Please say you're walking away from him. What a prick.

howyoulikemenow · 12/09/2019 23:04

Please for the love of God don't stay with him. He's shown his true colours, now runnn.

Merryoldgoat · 12/09/2019 23:06

He’s a cunt. Any parent whose child doesn’t come first isn’t worthy of the role.

I’m not really sure what you’re asking - you’ve dumped him, right?

Dollymixture22 · 12/09/2019 23:06

Well at least you found out before your son got attached.

billy1966 · 12/09/2019 23:06

Well now you know OP. Don't waste another second on him.

BumbleBeee69 · 12/09/2019 23:07

Tell him to GTF OP, you and your darling precious Son deserve way better. Flowers

SherbetSaucer · 12/09/2019 23:10

Introducing your child to your boyfriend after only 5 months is absolutely absurd!! Hmm Waiting reduces likelihood of things like this happening as you’ll actually know the man you’re introducing to your child.

SugarPlumLairy2 · 12/09/2019 23:13

Run!
I know a guy like this, my DH’s friend. He’s funny, charming, kind etc... seems like a nice chap, except has 3 kids by two wives and a girlfriend and his current partner admits the only reason they’ve been together so long is she hasn’t had kids. None of his relationships with kids or nvilved lasted more than a couple of years and he is still rubbish at being a dad figure,

run from this selfish manchild.
RUN.

Drogosnextwife · 12/09/2019 23:13

5 months is not absurd 🙄.

CoolCarrie · 12/09/2019 23:13

What a tosser, at least you know now before you got more involved . I think you should block him out of your life now.

TheBigFatMermaid · 12/09/2019 23:13

The perfect response to your affectionate relationship with your child would have been 'I've seen how lovely you are with my DC, I can't wait to see how you are with mine'.

You got the opposite. You got jealousy and possessiveness! RUN!!

cabingirl · 12/09/2019 23:14

This is why he's getting divorced. He doesn't like sharing the spotlight - even with his own children - so he will always be resentful of yours.

At least you found out now.

But sorry it is a bit shit.

BadBehaviour · 12/09/2019 23:14

Be very careful Op. he will expect you to put him before your child.

TheBigFatMermaid · 12/09/2019 23:14

YOUR!!

wotsittoyou · 12/09/2019 23:14

Well, I think you can see why he is exH to his ex-wife...

My first thought, exactly.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.