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To be furious with this text!

279 replies

Caramelblonde70 · 12/09/2019 22:47

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I've been dating a guy for nearly 5 months. He is in the process of divorce and has 3DC. I'm divorced and have been on my own with my 4 year old DS for 2.5 years. We've been getting on really well and feelings are developing and we're getting closer too. I decided it was time for him to meet my little boy so we all went out for pizza together at the beginning of the week. I thought it went really well! My son thought new guy was funny and it was lovely to see them getting on. After the lunch we went our separate ways home. 15 minutes later my guy texted to say ffs he'd missed his train home and would be late picking his sons up. I said did he want us to give him a lift home (he lives in a different town about 12 miles away) and he declined. I said I thought the lunch was a success. No reply. After pushing for a response he said he wasn't going to lie but it was hard for him seeing me with my son, that he was very affectionate towards me and he couldn't see there was room for him! He said hes used to just being with me and having all my attention. I was completely shocked at this admission. We've barely spoken since but I raised the subject again this evening and he said a relationship should have balance and basically that's where we differ as he wouldn't necessarily put his kids first and that he'd weigh up all the factors! I said my boy will always come first and he replied saying he didn't like the sound of that and that's what his soon to be ex wife used to say! WTAF?! I'm upset but my anger is out weighing this! What do you all think? Hes 46 btw and a Dad which is why I'm even more shocked.

OP posts:
katewhinesalot · 14/09/2019 09:17

Relief he's shown his hand so soon should be the overriding emotion. Imagine if he hid it until you moved in together.

Cecilandsnail · 15/09/2019 20:05

I can't believe the tantrum this man is having. How on earth do you go from meeting and pizza to text-shouting about having his back and putting him first 'for once' - he literally only just met the kid!! On what matter does he need to be put first?! Of course, we can all see that he's a total selfish tosspot who needs mummy's full attention at all times. Thank god he showed his hand so quickly! By contrast, my boyfriend after meeting my kids text to say they were lovely, that of course they would be with me as their mum. From then on in he hasn't batted an eyelid once if I had to cancel a date for anything child related, thinks of super fun educational nature type things to do with them (honestly, his mind is like a Pinterest board 😆) and is a super involved father to his own. It doesn't even have to be said that DC come first with either of us because of course they do! And we put each other's DC first too. I think you played it so well op and good riddance to the manchild.

CupoTeap · 16/09/2019 06:18

It's almost funny how he's trying to backtrack and still getting it so wrong!

mathanxiety · 16/09/2019 06:44

Texting sarcastic non sequiturs ('clearly it's too much to ask to be put first for once') and then blocking you so you can't talk back impertinently (i.e. respond) and bruise his ego even more [wow]

He's reading straight from the manual.

Have you bought a lottery ticket yet? Because this is your lucky week.

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