To be furious with this text!

[Caramelblonde70]

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I've been dating a guy for nearly 5 months. He is in the process of divorce and has 3DC. I'm divorced and have been on my own with my 4 year old DS for 2.5 years. We've been getting on really well and feelings are developing and we're getting closer too. I decided it was time for him to meet my little boy so we all went out for pizza together at the beginning of the week. I thought it went really well! My son thought new guy was funny and it was lovely to see them getting on. After the lunch we went our separate ways home. 15 minutes later my guy texted to say ffs he'd missed his train home and would be late picking his sons up. I said did he want us to give him a lift home (he lives in a different town about 12 miles away) and he declined. I said I thought the lunch was a success. No reply. After pushing for a response he said he wasn't going to lie but it was hard for him seeing me with my son, that he was very affectionate towards me and he couldn't see there was room for him! He said hes used to just being with me and having all my attention. I was completely shocked at this admission. We've barely spoken since but I raised the subject again this evening and he said a relationship should have balance and basically that's where we differ as he wouldn't necessarily put his kids first and that he'd weigh up all the factors! I said my boy will always come first and he replied saying he didn't like the sound of that and that's what his soon to be ex wife used to say! WTAF?! I'm upset but my anger is out weighing this! What do you all think? Hes 46 btw and a Dad which is why I'm even more shocked.

I'm ending it. Good to have all your opinions to verify my thoughts. Yes I'm gutted and yes, I feel bad about my son meeting him but in my defence, the way he's reacted has completely shocked me; it's a side I'd not seen until now. Thank you all X

Blimey you saw his true colours there. How weird that he basically turned off by you having a healthy relationship with yr son. So hard to find a man that isnt cracked, needy, avoidant.......

Red flag alert.
What a wanker.
Men like this who are jealous of other children are dangerous and likely to harm. If you really do put your son first then tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck off and never see him again.
No man is worth the risk.

Don’t feel bad - it was only one pizza, not ‘Here’s your new Daddy’. It must feel so disappointing but you’re doing the right thing. He’s sounds horrible and no where near good enough to be around your little boy (or you) x

At least you found out early on!!

You’re doing the right thing.

What a cunt. At least he well and truly revealed himself. He should go a step further and put an online bio for himself: 'shoddy parent looking for another crap parent so we can both not prioritise our kids together and live selfishly ever after'

@SherbetSaucer certainly not absurd in this case otherwise OP possibly wouldn't have found out what an arsehole the guy is until much later.

I guess he misjudged how far he could push you.

So good that he showed his hand too early though.

The perfect response to your affectionate relationship with your child would have been 'I've seen how lovely you are with my DC, I can't wait to see how you are with mine'.

Couldnt have put that any better but carmelblonde has thankfully seen the light and legged it.

And somewhat disappointed but he must have known that you'd be affectionate to your wee boy?. What ever was he thinking ??

If he can't stand children then find a woman who hasnt got any thats if any decent woman would have him!.

What sayitloud1 said - Men like this who are jealous of other children are dangerous and likely to harm.

100% agree, if this had to of progressed and your ds had ever to be left alone with this man, who knows the outcome, but I'd be very weary of a man, a father, being jealous of a little boy, scary

Introducing your child to your boyfriend after only 5 months is absolutely absurd!!

Stupid comment - of course it’s not absurd to go out for pizza with someone you’ve been seeing for 5 months, it’s not like he was moving in.

Plus there are only things that come to light once you’ve introduced family, friends & children...this is a great example of that!

Lucky escape with that one caramel! But sorry because it still hurts and disappoints 🌷

He's jealous of a 4 year old boy, what a bell end!

Urgh what a dick! Thank fully you found out this early. Jealous of a child that’s so sad his poor ex as well. Hug and x

You’ve dodged a bullet.

I met my dp at 18 years old.

At 18 years old I told my at that point possible future Dp that his children were always no matter what going to come before me and whatever potential relationship we would eventually have. His reply was he was relieved I knew that because his kids were always going to be his first and most important priority and he was glad I understood that because if I hadn't he would be unable to be in a relationship with me (or anyone for that matter) who didn't.

i knew that at 18 years old without having had children of my own

How can he not understand that that is the most basic rule where children are involved if I knew that at 18!

I would be done with anyone who could think that about their own children or put me under pressure about my relationship with my child.

What a penis

Similar to everyone else, my thoughts were ‘Cunt. Move on.’

I’m glad you have! I’m fairly well flabbergasted actually. He sounds very narcissistic.

Introducing your child to your boyfriend after only 5 months is absolutely absurd!!

Not absurd at all. They only went for pizza!

Imagine if OP had waited a year - fallen in love and become really invested with this guy. She might have tried to stay with him and keep the relationship going because she’d already be in deep.

At least this way she found out early and is still detached enough to have a clean break and cut her losses.

What a horrible, stupid man.

I can just imagine your vagina shrivelling up and sealing itself shut as you read that text.

Good on you for ending it. What a man-child.

I would go and put prawns in the seams of his curtains then get the F out of that bear trap!

His only good quality is being too much of a self-obsessed tosser to be able to manipulate you.

Well done on dumping him.

What a wanker.