To be furious with this text!

[Caramelblonde70]

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I've been dating a guy for nearly 5 months. He is in the process of divorce and has 3DC. I'm divorced and have been on my own with my 4 year old DS for 2.5 years. We've been getting on really well and feelings are developing and we're getting closer too. I decided it was time for him to meet my little boy so we all went out for pizza together at the beginning of the week. I thought it went really well! My son thought new guy was funny and it was lovely to see them getting on. After the lunch we went our separate ways home. 15 minutes later my guy texted to say ffs he'd missed his train home and would be late picking his sons up. I said did he want us to give him a lift home (he lives in a different town about 12 miles away) and he declined. I said I thought the lunch was a success. No reply. After pushing for a response he said he wasn't going to lie but it was hard for him seeing me with my son, that he was very affectionate towards me and he couldn't see there was room for him! He said hes used to just being with me and having all my attention. I was completely shocked at this admission. We've barely spoken since but I raised the subject again this evening and he said a relationship should have balance and basically that's where we differ as he wouldn't necessarily put his kids first and that he'd weigh up all the factors! I said my boy will always come first and he replied saying he didn't like the sound of that and that's what his soon to be ex wife used to say! WTAF?! I'm upset but my anger is out weighing this! What do you all think? Hes 46 btw and a Dad which is why I'm even more shocked.

Clearly a completely terrible sign. It's a very good thing you found out now - breakups are always painful, but you've saved yourself a lot of stress and heartache by discovering this early.

Guys like this are good at hiding how they really are.

Well done for getting rid of him and not making any excuses for his behaviour.

Don't feel bad, its him, not you and you've acted fast the moment you realised what he's really like. What an utter dick.

@Caramelblonde70 don't feel sick, you handled it

well your son will not bat an eyelid at this.

Well done for thinking about where you sat, the importance of an intro not showing any relationship, you thought about your DS 100%. Your caution has paid off!

@Caramelblonde70 Some people are really good at hiding the fact that they're an absolute arsehole. I'm really sorry you had to go through that, it's really shit when you meet someone who you think could be a really important part of your life (in any aspect, not just romantic) then you find out that they're not actually the person they're pretending to be.

He's not worth any more of your headspace.

Your caution has paid off!

Absolutely. You handled it all perfectly OP.

I have to say, you may not feel it now, but you've been super lucky.
This guy has shown you who he is really early and now you can make a clean break. I really pity the man's ex wife, who probably only realised how jealous he could be of a child after she had one.

You and your son deserve better. Be thankful he revealed it and didn't try to hide it for a year or two.

What a shitbag... would be interested to hear how he took the dumping!

Lucky escape for you by all accounts OP. He sounds like an arsehole of the highest order, who on Earth says they ‘wouldn’t necessarily put their children first’ .

Lesson learnt though, 5 months is way too soon to introduce to your child. You don’t know someone after that length of time.

Well at least he was honest and gave you the opportunity to end it before your DS became fond of him. Onwards and upwards OP.

You are lucky he showed his colours this early. Save you a lot of time and heartache. What an idiot, well done for getting rid

I think you've had a lucky escape. Wow what an idiot he is. If he's like that after an hour or so lunch can you imagine what he'd be like if he lived with you! Jealous over a child! You sound like a great mum who knows her child comes first. I'm sorry things havent worked out as you wanted but like you said the children come first.

So he was nice to your son but doesn`t like the fact that your son comes first,
What a twat.
As said in previous posts lucky escape.

I don't get the attitude that five months is too short a time to introduce someone (casually) to one's kid. Five months is ages. And the most important thing you'd want to know about a boyfriend is how they'll be around your kid. It's not as if you're going to say 'hey kid, here's your new daddy!'

How much time is one supposed to waste before finding out it's not going to work as a family?

Thank your lucky stars you had an escape before your son got to know him, like him and love him. Someone said me the other day ‘you have to kiss plenty of frogs before you find your prince’ admitting I’m struggling to find the frogs never mind the prince! But we’ll all find ‘the one’ one day. See this one as a trial run, which you ran from.

What a dramatic overreaction of his to one lunch with a woman and her little boy!

Usually I’d say too soon to introduce but thankfully you did and you’ve seen this twat for what he is!

My kids come first, DH is absolutely of the same opinion.
Jesus Christ, if it was a life and death situation I'd even take a bullet for someone else's kid I think. Kids should ALWAYS come first. So glad you're ditching him OP. What a twat! I'd love to hear his response to you ditching him! The only woman he'll find that will put him first is his own mother. Maybe he should just live with her the rest of her life presuming she is still alive.

Of course your son should come firstehy would he not. There is nothing less attractive than someone who is jealous of a child. Well rid I say.

So relieved you’re ending it.

God my heart hurt for your little boy, until I read the update that he didn’t know that this was your new partner he was meeting.

You sound like you have a lovely relationship with your son btw.

I suppose his one redeeming feature is that he’s been utterly straight with you now before you waste anymore time with such a loser.

He’s a prick

Well, he's set out his stall clearly.

What if you and he had a child together? He's wouldn't prioritise the child.

Crap parent. Man child.

Dodged a bullet!

Sounds like you did everything right and having introduced this man to your ds you saw him a little more clearly. Well done for getting out. It's upsetting when you see a whole new (not good) side to someone but you were able to reveal this without upsetting your ds in any way.

Sorry for the disappointment. You sound as though you have a wonderful relationship with your ds so enjoy that.

If only we could have a website of photos naming and shaming all these man-children so women would know who to steer clear of....

I remember my abusive ex asking his friend how he coped with his wife loving his DD more than him.. I was sat in the room cuddling his Ds at the time.

Yes I tell my DS he is the only person on this planet I love unconditionally...

You did the right thing ...