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To be furious with this text!

279 replies

Caramelblonde70 · 12/09/2019 22:47

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I've been dating a guy for nearly 5 months. He is in the process of divorce and has 3DC. I'm divorced and have been on my own with my 4 year old DS for 2.5 years. We've been getting on really well and feelings are developing and we're getting closer too. I decided it was time for him to meet my little boy so we all went out for pizza together at the beginning of the week. I thought it went really well! My son thought new guy was funny and it was lovely to see them getting on. After the lunch we went our separate ways home. 15 minutes later my guy texted to say ffs he'd missed his train home and would be late picking his sons up. I said did he want us to give him a lift home (he lives in a different town about 12 miles away) and he declined. I said I thought the lunch was a success. No reply. After pushing for a response he said he wasn't going to lie but it was hard for him seeing me with my son, that he was very affectionate towards me and he couldn't see there was room for him! He said hes used to just being with me and having all my attention. I was completely shocked at this admission. We've barely spoken since but I raised the subject again this evening and he said a relationship should have balance and basically that's where we differ as he wouldn't necessarily put his kids first and that he'd weigh up all the factors! I said my boy will always come first and he replied saying he didn't like the sound of that and that's what his soon to be ex wife used to say! WTAF?! I'm upset but my anger is out weighing this! What do you all think? Hes 46 btw and a Dad which is why I'm even more shocked.

OP posts:
Oakandlove · 12/09/2019 23:43

Jesus, that is really, really bad.

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/09/2019 23:49

Can someone explain something to me?

Why do people who are pathologically incapable of putting their childrens needs above their own wants, have more than one child?!

As bad as it is for the child concerned, I can see them having one. They dont know that they cant deal with life as a parent until they are one. Bad but understandable and hopefully salvagable by the other parent who one prays isnt the same way inclined.

Yet they keep procreating! I know both men and women who have done this. They are a shit parent to one child, who they either moan about constantly, or simply ignore, and then have atleast one (and usually a couple) more. WHY?!

If I had a job I hated and was crap at, I wouldnt then go out and actively seek another job that was exactly the same. So why do people do this?

OP, he's a cunt but you knew that. Thank fuck you found out now.

Buttybach · 12/09/2019 23:51

That's a real life Edward Murdstone right there!!

Whocutdownthecherrytree · 13/09/2019 00:06

Better to have found out now instead of 2 years for now. The more appropriate response would be to compliment your child on their positive traits (whatever they are) or compliment you’re parenting. Say he enjoyed meeting him etc. Only a narcissist would say something like this after such an important meeting. It’s the tip of the iceberg

RUN

Pol16 · 13/09/2019 00:13

Sorry - only just read this thread and it’s all been said. But, it made made me feel so anxious for you reading it I just had to say well done you! I’m so glad your son will not have to form a ‘relationship’ with this man. Thank goodness you found out what he was like.....

Soon2BeMumof3 · 13/09/2019 00:14

The text isn't the real issue. You're dating a horrible selfish immature man.

Lucky to have found this out now.

Run

Lipz · 13/09/2019 00:22

What an arse, glad you are dumping him. I can never understand anyone who gets jealous of children and thinks they should be first in line in a relationship. Children always come first.

Streamside · 13/09/2019 00:25

Move on as quickly as possible, don't look back

AryaStarkWolf · 13/09/2019 00:42

Your son wont remember 1 lunch with some guy as a significant event, lucky escape for you both, sorry you wasted so much time with this dick though

BrendasUmbrella · 13/09/2019 00:55

he said he wasn't going to lie but it was hard for him seeing me with my son, that he was very affectionate towards me and he couldn't see there was room for him! He said hes used to just being with me and having all my attention.

He was talking about your four year old child as though he was a love rival. Nothing but trouble ahead there...

karenbokaren · 13/09/2019 01:04

He's a man baby cunt. And I rarely use that word. God you're getting rid.

karenbokaren · 13/09/2019 01:05

Glad

managedmis · 13/09/2019 01:07

Believe me, your son won't care.

Glad he's shown his true colours so soon eh?

RuggerHug · 13/09/2019 01:12

OP I know it's tough for you after months of thinking he was lovely. Be upset for what could have been but know that your DS isn't affected. He was just a mate at lunch. Mind yourself x

FuckFacePlatapus · 13/09/2019 01:14

And now you know why his ex wife is divorcing him!

BeepBeeep · 13/09/2019 01:47

Sorry, but what decent parent wouldn't put their kids first?
He's not a decent parent because he's not a decent man.
Bin him and move on OP.

Buttybach · 13/09/2019 01:49

He is a Twunt!!

ClaireElizabethBeauchampFraser · 13/09/2019 02:03

Thank goodness he showed his true colours! I am delighted that his wife has also escaped! Thank goodness for that! What a narcissistic sociopath!

The minute my son was born my husband and I both developed new priorities! My dh went with ds when he was taken into another room to clear his tubes! Leaving me alone at my request! Both of us have our kids as number one priority! Then each other! Our marriage has not suffered for that and knowing my husband adores our children and puts them first, makes me love and respect him more! Neither one of us was jealous! That’s how a good man and father is- this man is definitely neither! You have had a VERY lucky escape!

Durgasarrow · 13/09/2019 03:04

The text is not the problem. In fact, the text gave you exactly the information you needed. This is not a good man for you.

mathanxiety · 13/09/2019 03:20

Wow, you are incredibly lucky that he let you see exactly what sort of immature waste of space he is.

Best of all, you now have the information you need to keep this horrible man out of your son's life.

You should frame this text and add the title 'Dodged a Bullet'.

mathanxiety · 13/09/2019 03:24

he must have known that you'd be affectionate to your wee boy?. What ever was he thinking ??
Justaboy

He is fishing for a woman who will still want him after that sort of text so he knows what terrible treatment he can dish out to her child without a murmur from her. He will also treat her really badly.

NChereNNow · 13/09/2019 03:26

Please don't see him again.

Imagine how he would treat your little son Sad

CupoTeap · 13/09/2019 04:13

Glad you are getting rid op.

@CTRLALTDELETED GrinGrin

Josephinebettany · 13/09/2019 04:25

Isn't it lucky you saw this side now rather than later? Please run and don't let him talk you out of it. He's a weirdo

toadabode · 13/09/2019 04:56

He's either jealous of a four year old of just doesn't like him. Either way he sounds ridiculous - steer clear

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