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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask son who was staying with me to leave for being awful to my cat

205 replies

Crystalcrazy · 10/09/2019 23:18

My son is in his early 20’s and has come to stay with me for a few days as he usually works away.

I have a two year old cat who likes to pounce on your feet when walking past. She’s not aggressive, it’s only playing.

Tonight I heard him shouting and went to see what had happened. He said the cat had chased him and tried to bite him and if she did it again he would kick her. I tried to explain she was playing but he was very angry and insisted he would kick her if she did it again.

At the point I said his behaviour was unacceptable and it may be best if he stayed with his dad who lives nearby.

He has now gone, I have text him to say I don’t want to fall out but no answer.

I honestly felt uneasy leaving him with her while I’m at work tomorrow. She’s a house cat so couldn’t go out.

Did I overreact?

OP posts:
DocusDiplo · 10/09/2019 23:19

Yes

KatherineJaneway · 10/09/2019 23:20

No you didn't overreact. Cats do play with feet or give feet a swipe on occasion. He sounds like an immature arse.

frazzledasarock · 10/09/2019 23:20

He’s in his 20’s and threatened to physically hurt your cat?

No, you did the right thing sending him to stay at his dads.

ladyratterley · 10/09/2019 23:21

No! You didn’t.
He was being a dick, wouldn’t back down when you explained the cat wouldn’t hurt him, and threatened to hurt your pet.

Sunshine93 · 10/09/2019 23:22

You did yes. I would be very hurt to be thrown out by my mum for an angry outburst. Be thinks the cat was trying to bite him is he used t cats.Unless there's a dripfeed where he's generally cruel to animals I think you were extreme.

Shouldcolder · 10/09/2019 23:22

Yes!!! He’s your son and your cat pounced! Have you always had a difficult relationship?

Badcat666 · 10/09/2019 23:22

No, he was being a complete cunt and I have no doubt he would have kicked your cat.

he is in his 20s, not 2. If he can't respect your property and your pet he can fuck off to his dads.

alltoomuchrightnow · 10/09/2019 23:23

no!!! if anything you under reacted. I'd have gone absolutely apeshit

dellacucina · 10/09/2019 23:23

No. Threatening to kick an innocent animal is not on

NeedAJobQuick · 10/09/2019 23:25

No. And he needs to grow up. Kick a cat indeed. Ffs 🙄

mbosnz · 10/09/2019 23:27

No, you didn't. He gave you fair warning about what he'd do to an animal who was just behaving as their species do. You took him at his word, and told him what would be the consequences. He took himself off.

Quite sensible all round. And he needs to learn some self control. At his age, to lash out at something or someone that is behaving in a perfectly natural and logical manner for their level of development, can have serious consequences. For that being and for himself.

Densol999 · 10/09/2019 23:27

Animal ( cat ) lovers on MN's - no no no - Id write him out of your will too - bastard
Cat haters ( like me ) Yep - total over reaction. Id have done more than kick it Grin ( Im joking !!!! ....)

TinklyLittleLaugh · 10/09/2019 23:27

I would absolutely hate to have a cat pouncing and biting at my feet. Not saying I’d kick it, but I’d certainly try to deter it. Not very one loves cats.

RosaWaiting · 10/09/2019 23:28

You did the right thing
It wasn’t a poor taste comment, it sounds like he fully intended to do it.

Sistersis · 10/09/2019 23:29

You are saying some animal is more important than your son and that you are content for him to be attacked by it. Like he said he felt attacked.

The cat is yours not his, he is yours. Don't think you'll ever see parent cats put their humans before their litter.

Better off at his dad's, doesn't even sound like you want him around.

Sunshine93 · 10/09/2019 23:30

27Densol999 so true.

I am not suggesting it would be ok for him to kick your cat. Saying it is not doing it.

If I get angry with DH because he does something that upsets me and say "I could kill you for doing that" does that mean he should call the police because I have threatened murder?

raskolnikova · 10/09/2019 23:30

No you didn't overreact. He's a grown man and should not be threatening to kick his mother's pet.

Barbel · 10/09/2019 23:30

I would be tempted to kick anything that was jumping or pouncing at me. How bloody annoying. And I'm 100% type of person that my pets are my life.
You might have over reacted a bit but hopefully it's not too serious and can be patched up with your son

mbosnz · 10/09/2019 23:33

He said he 'would' kick the cat if it did it again. Not that he 'could'.

OP is responsible for the cats' welfare. Her son is a grown man, who is able to provide for himself in a way the cat can't, and who should be able to apply some logic and self control to the situation in a way that a cat can't. But apparently he either wouldn't or couldn't. So he did the next best thing. Removed himself from the situation.

This is the cats' home. The cat can't remove itself from the situation. It's entirely dependent on the humans for its wellbeing.

FrancisCrawford · 10/09/2019 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UndomesticHousewife · 10/09/2019 23:35

If any of my dc said that about our dog I wouldn't ask them to leave because I know they would never hurt him or any other animal, I'd assume they were in a bad mood or something although I wouldn't be impressed with them saying that.
So you must think that your son would actually kick your cat and hurt an animal for you to do that.
Doesn't make him a very nice person. We go to sil house she has an evil cat who lies in wait and swipes you as you go past , no one threatens to kick it we just jump ahead and avoid the cat because we don't hurt animals.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 10/09/2019 23:36

Cat lover here, only really met one cat that acted like that and it was pedigree who was kept in doors all day. You son should not be threatening to kick it but you really should train your cat not to attack random people.

lilypips · 10/09/2019 23:38

Christ, I have said to DH in many occasions I'm going to kill the kids. Obviously I'm not going to.

Did he kick the cat? Or were you just wanting him out?

cricketmum84 · 10/09/2019 23:39

train your cat not to attack random people.

Train your cat 😂😂😂😂 funniest thing ever! Humans do not train cats. Cats train humans! Look at us making sure they have their favourite food out. Toys to play with, snuggles and strokes but only on their terms!

OP I wouldn't have anyone in my house who threatened my cat either.

ClaireElizabethBeauchampFraser · 10/09/2019 23:39

A big strong twenty year old man, threatening to kick a little cat who he knows is just playing. YANBU I would be absolutely disgusted if that were my son! It’s hardly like a vicious lion was going to bite his foot off!

Is your ds always aggressive?