Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask son who was staying with me to leave for being awful to my cat

205 replies

Crystalcrazy · 10/09/2019 23:18

My son is in his early 20’s and has come to stay with me for a few days as he usually works away.

I have a two year old cat who likes to pounce on your feet when walking past. She’s not aggressive, it’s only playing.

Tonight I heard him shouting and went to see what had happened. He said the cat had chased him and tried to bite him and if she did it again he would kick her. I tried to explain she was playing but he was very angry and insisted he would kick her if she did it again.

At the point I said his behaviour was unacceptable and it may be best if he stayed with his dad who lives nearby.

He has now gone, I have text him to say I don’t want to fall out but no answer.

I honestly felt uneasy leaving him with her while I’m at work tomorrow. She’s a house cat so couldn’t go out.

Did I overreact?

OP posts:
Original poster
Crystalcrazy · 10/09/2019 23:44

It makes me very sad to say that he did mean it. Even when the situation had calmed down I asked him if he actually would kick her rather than an empty threat he had blurted out in shock. He said he would if she did it again. I could not go to work in the morning worrying that she could be hurt. Of course I love my son but will not tolerate him threatening to hurt my pet.

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 10/09/2019 23:47

Sorry OP but the next thing is, what kind of man is he that he’d do that?

lilypips · 10/09/2019 23:48

I could not go to work in the morning worrying that she could be hurt.

Are you not more worried that your son has problems? I certainly would be if I thought my son would actually hurt an animal

Ravenblack · 10/09/2019 23:50

@Crystalcrazy YANBU obviously.

I'd have fucking kicked him.

Cunt.

Poor cat. Sad

PLEASE don't leave him alone with this young man.

ReanimatedSGB · 10/09/2019 23:52

Depends if you make any provision for protecting guests in your home from an aggressive animal. I'd be strongly tempted to kick something that wouldn't stop scratching and biting me, as well - can't you shut the fucking cat in another room when you have visitors?

Hazhaze · 10/09/2019 23:52

I'm not a cat person AT ALL and have been pounced on muliple times - not once have I ever considered kicking one! I try very hard to befriend them instead because it's a cat acting like a cat and it's someone's beloved pet.

I'm not sure what you could have done differently because you really couldn't trust your son alone with your cat so YANBU.

LyraParry · 10/09/2019 23:53

Definitely not overreacting! I wouldn't tolerate any adult in my home if I thought they might actually hurt my cat.

cricketmum84 · 10/09/2019 23:55

Ugh there's always one.

It's a "fucking cat" as you so delightfully put it. Not a tiger.

tempester28 · 10/09/2019 23:55

I thought no a lot of people would be frightened of a pouncing cat!

Did me mean kick? or kick off - as in would shake off the pouncing cat?

I think you have to decide whether you want the company of your son or your cat?

*Disclaimer - I am not a cat lover

NailsNeedDoing · 10/09/2019 23:55

Have you given him any advice on what he should do if the cat isn't attacking his feet again, or on what he could do to prevent it? Cats hurt when they do things like that! He shouldn't do anything to actually injure the cat obviously, but you can't expect him to just put up with being pounced on. Kicking something off when it attacks your feet is pretty much the natural, instinctive reaction.

londontaxi · 10/09/2019 23:55

No not unreasonable at all. It's your house and if he wants to move in with you doesn't like the cat to the point where he'd hurt it then he needs to find somewhere else. Worrying reaction from him.

AlexaAmbidextra · 10/09/2019 23:57

No you didn’t overreact. You were protecting a defenceless little creature. I wouldn’t tolerate anyone hurting my cat or even threatening to.

tempester28 · 10/09/2019 23:57
  • A lot of people would be frightened of a pouncing cat
zwellers · 10/09/2019 23:57

So kicking a cat would of course be totally out of order. But you seem to value your aggressive cat more than your son. And let's be clear he only threatened to kick it. Unless there is some massive drip feed going to happen He might not liked a cat jumping on him and made a empty threat.. Couldn't you have put the cat in another room. You seem very dramatic.

Icequeen01 · 10/09/2019 23:59

It has nothing to do with whether a person might not like cats or not! He is an adult man who clearly shows no respect for animals. Kicking, or threatening to kick, another living creature be it an animal or human is crossing the line and there is no excuse. . You were not unreasonable to ask him to leave.

NoTheresa · 10/09/2019 23:59

No you did not overreact. Poor cat.

raskolnikova · 10/09/2019 23:59

I think you have to decide whether you want the company of your son or your cat?

Choose the cat.

Cats over violent men every time.

Fuma · 11/09/2019 00:00

You both sound fairly U tbh - you with your savage mental animal and him with his kicking. Have you considered family therapy?

NoTheresa · 11/09/2019 00:03

🙄🙄

SinisterBumFacedCat · 11/09/2019 00:03

Yes train the cat. Or let it out in the garden to take its homicidal tendencies out on the local bird and mice population. Unless you’ve been playing with your cat and actively encouraging this behaviour I can’t understand why you’re putting up with it from the cat. Or your son.

BanditoShipman · 11/09/2019 00:06

The cat was playing with feet, it’s a cat, hardly ‘savage’ or ‘aggressive’ or frightening to a grown up Hmm

Saying he would kick the cat if it did it again, after he had calmed down is worrying, I would have told him to leave.

Mousetolioness · 11/09/2019 00:08

ilypips

Are you not more worried that your son has problems? I certainly would be if I thought my son would actually hurt an animal

Even if OP's son does have problems the OP can't address those in the next 24 hours but she can, and has, removed the risk of her son kicking her cat.

OP - YANBU

raskolnikova · 11/09/2019 00:12

The cat was playing with feet, it’s a cat, hardly ‘savage’ or ‘aggressive’ or frightening to a grown up hmm

^This. It's a young cat, young cats pounce at things and jump around. It doesn't mean it's biting or scratching people or hurting anyone. If that enrages the son so much that he would be violent then he's old enough to book a hotel room instead.

wotsittoyou · 11/09/2019 00:14

Does this fit with his general character? If so, then you/he have big problems. If not, I'd wonder whether he said this simply to motivate you to take his complaint seriously. I love cats, but it irritates me when pet owners minimise the negative effects of their pets on others. It really bloody hurts when a cat hooks its claws into your feet. Did you apologise and tell him that you'd put it out of the way? Or did you tell him not to be daft, or something thereabouts, and that it doesn't mean any harm? Because the latter response would rile a lot of people up.

kateandme · 11/09/2019 00:14

who threaten to kick an animal?