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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask son who was staying with me to leave for being awful to my cat

205 replies

Crystalcrazy · 10/09/2019 23:18

My son is in his early 20’s and has come to stay with me for a few days as he usually works away.

I have a two year old cat who likes to pounce on your feet when walking past. She’s not aggressive, it’s only playing.

Tonight I heard him shouting and went to see what had happened. He said the cat had chased him and tried to bite him and if she did it again he would kick her. I tried to explain she was playing but he was very angry and insisted he would kick her if she did it again.

At the point I said his behaviour was unacceptable and it may be best if he stayed with his dad who lives nearby.

He has now gone, I have text him to say I don’t want to fall out but no answer.

I honestly felt uneasy leaving him with her while I’m at work tomorrow. She’s a house cat so couldn’t go out.

Did I overreact?

OP posts:
BarbariansMum · 11/09/2019 07:23

Your cat clawed your ds and you dont like the idea that it's a problem? You have made your priorities clear, so I wish you many years of joy with your pet. I think you may not have to worry about him coming to stay again.

Surfskatefamily · 11/09/2019 07:24

You totally overreacted. Cat or son? Hmm

LenoVintura · 11/09/2019 07:25

We spent Xmas Day at my parents' with everyone on tenterhooks throughout lunch as the then 4 month old kittens pounced on everyone under the long tablecloth. It was unnnerving and hilarious in equal measure Grin. Normal conversation was punctuated by shrieks from each victim in turn - there were ten of us and two kittens.

Eventually my DM was persuaded to put them into the living room, which is separated from the dining room by glass doors. They then proceeded to fling themselves at the doors in a frenzy. It was very tempting to give them a little hoof but of course nobody did.

I think you both overeacted tbh.

Queenoftheashes · 11/09/2019 07:26

Of course you aren’t being unreasonable. I only know one person who is mean to animals and he’s a prick to everyone else as well: controlling and angry. Aggressive when he can get away with it. A cat is tiny compared to a man and if he doesn’t see a problem with kicking it he has issues.
And the poster who cried for days when a dog touched her, ffs grow up

PodgeBod · 11/09/2019 07:35

Yanbu at all you owe it to your cat to make sure it is safe. Your son wasn't respecting you or your home by repeatedly insisting he would kick your pet.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 11/09/2019 07:40

YANBU. I’d have done the same.

DP often threatens to eat my pets but I know fine he never would, he’s devoted to them. If I thought he was serious he wouldn’t still be here. Nobody harms them. They live here because I brought them here, it’s up to me to protect them.

thinkfast · 11/09/2019 07:45

I'm not a cat lover. I find their behaviour unpredictable and hard to read. If a cat pounced on me I would be quite scared/ feel under attack and not know how to react. I would expect it's owner to keep it away from me if its typical behaviour is to pounce on people. I feel sorry for your DS.

TatianaLarina · 11/09/2019 07:47

I had a cat who liked to pounce, I ended up calling him Cato.

At no point did I ever kick him. Totally unnecessary.

I’m surprised posters here condone violence to animals. Not ok.

TatianaLarina · 11/09/2019 07:50

Your cat clawed your ds and you dont like the idea that it's a problem?

No, she doesn’t like the idea that he would kick the cat in retaliation.

BarbariansMum · 11/09/2019 07:52

Well, then maybe she could suggest an alternative, like shutting the cat away when she has visitors, or teaching it not to pounce on people, or arming visitors with a water spray and telling them to keep their shoes on? Hmm

TatianaLarina · 11/09/2019 07:52

Can I just point out that if you kick a pouncing cat you will send it into trauma fright or flight mode, which may simply make it more aggressive because it is scared and thinks it’s being attacked.

princessTiasmum · 11/09/2019 07:52

No you did the right thing.I wonder put up with anyone with who threatened my animals.

TatianaLarina · 11/09/2019 07:54

Well, then maybe she could suggest an alternative, like shutting the cat away when she has visitors, or teaching it not to pounce on people, or arming visitors with a water spray and telling them to keep their shoes on?

This is an adult man in his 20s. He can come up with alternatives to kicking himself no?

BarbariansMum · 11/09/2019 07:59

It's not his job to think up alternatives, he's a guest. I doubt many pet owners would welcome their guests unilaterally imposing solutions on their badly behaved pets. In fact, the worse an animals behaviour the less owners will generally tolerate any intervention at all. "He's just playing".

EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 11/09/2019 07:59

No, you didn’t over react OP, a grown adult who reacts to having his feet pounced on by a cat has anger issues!

violetbunny · 11/09/2019 08:00

YANBU. I would want to kick anyone who tried to kick my cat Angry

TatianaLarina · 11/09/2019 08:02

It's not his job to think up alternatives, he's a guest.

I’m sorry? It’s not an adult’s responsibility to think up alternatives to violence? Really? What kind of people do you associate with?

All he has to say is ‘mum the cat pounced on me, can you find a way to stop it or shut it in a room when I’m here.’

ThunderThorn · 11/09/2019 08:05

YANBU!

I have a simple rule - you don't like my pets, you don't come to my house. I don't care who it is, I won't lock my cat away, this is his home. He's an incredibly excitable 11 month old kitten who loves to play with guests but doesn't understand soft paws so they always leave bleeding. If someone threatened to kick him because of that then they would be roundhouse kicked straight out the front door. I love my pets more than my family members so people know if they come round they have to love them too Smile

binkyclink · 11/09/2019 08:05

OP I have a cat & would feel uncomfortable with someone in my house making such threats. I would have done the same as you. Cats are cats, that's how they play.

HE was in YOUR home after all, no need for such cruel threats over an innocent little creature where you & it's home are its world.

If he would have booted the cat you would have been so angry.

I would have told him to stay elsewhere too!

messolini9 · 11/09/2019 08:06

So many people beating their breasts ^ crying "you chose your cat over your son!"
As if a grown man who threatens an animal in cold blood deserves any consideration.

What do you propose OP should have done? Condone her son's unmanageable anger & petulance? Would you stand by & let him kick YOUR pet? What next, your daughter?

partysong · 11/09/2019 08:07

Hmm I imagine part of the reason you don't have an easy relationship with your son is because it's evident you value a cat more than him.

Stop your beloved animals hurting other people. And if you can't, don't expect them to want to spend time with you. You might think it's cute, I would think it was a bloody aggressive nuisance.

Butchyrestingface · 11/09/2019 08:07

Who’d kick a cat?

Possibly the same people who go batshit at the sight of a bee or a harmless spider and over kill it or get someone else to do it? ¯\(ツ)/¯

BarbariansMum · 11/09/2019 08:07

She could have apologised and removed the cat to another room maybe ?

BarbariansMum · 11/09/2019 08:09

And he did not threaten it " in cold blood" - go read what the phrase means.

WhatsMyPassword · 11/09/2019 08:10

The level of over reaction, on both parts on this thread is astounding.

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