Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask son who was staying with me to leave for being awful to my cat

205 replies

Crystalcrazy · 10/09/2019 23:18

My son is in his early 20’s and has come to stay with me for a few days as he usually works away.

I have a two year old cat who likes to pounce on your feet when walking past. She’s not aggressive, it’s only playing.

Tonight I heard him shouting and went to see what had happened. He said the cat had chased him and tried to bite him and if she did it again he would kick her. I tried to explain she was playing but he was very angry and insisted he would kick her if she did it again.

At the point I said his behaviour was unacceptable and it may be best if he stayed with his dad who lives nearby.

He has now gone, I have text him to say I don’t want to fall out but no answer.

I honestly felt uneasy leaving him with her while I’m at work tomorrow. She’s a house cat so couldn’t go out.

Did I overreact?

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 11/09/2019 08:10

She could have apologised and removed the cat to another room maybe ?

That doesn’t solve the problem that he had announced that he will kick the cat again in the future.

partysong · 11/09/2019 08:11

Oh for goodness sake, the overreactions on here HmmHe threatened to kick an animal that was attacking him.

He did not beat his wife or a child. If he does those things then do feel free to kick him out.

I would probably have threatened to kick the bloody cat too and have never hurt anyone in my life. If you don't love cats this is not cute or playful, it's unsettling, unpredictable and it hurts.

Genuinely what were his alternatives (because you can't pick the buggers up and remove them, they'll claw you to bits, his mum the owner wasn't listening and removing it, presumably no one expects him to stay locked his room so the cat has the run of the home...?)

4under4our · 11/09/2019 08:12

*Oh FFS. Meanwhile in the real world YABU.

Telling a son you hardly see to leave your/his? home because he threatened to kick an irritating cat which made him jump, but hadn't actually done anything to harm the damn thing. He can assume correctly that you care more about the cat than him.

Total overreaction.*

Yup. There's definitely a trend at the moment for allowing your animals to behave like shit and doing sod all about it. This, unfortunately, leads to more and more people disliking/being fearful of animals.

TatianaLarina · 11/09/2019 08:14

Violence to animals is not ok partysong even if you believe it is.

BarbariansMum · 11/09/2019 08:15

Yes, if it went for him again, he wasn't taking out a contract on its life. Once the cat was out of the way and things were calmed down, that would be the time to discuss alternative strategies. Most mothers and sibs have a close enough relationship that they could negotiate a work around.

partysong · 11/09/2019 08:18

Violence to humans is also not ok, TatianaLarina - even if you seem to believe it is, if it's only a 'cute' cat drawing blood.

DawgLover · 11/09/2019 08:19

The OP has already stated she did speak to him later on. When he again said that he meant it when threatening to kick the cat

messolini9 · 11/09/2019 08:22

And he did not threaten it " in cold blood" - go read what the phrase means.

Yes he did, @BarbariansMum. Go read OP's update.

BarbariansMum · 11/09/2019 08:23

No she didnt Dawg. There was one arguement where the both backed themselves into corners, him insisting he'd kick the cat if it did it again, her saying that was inappropriate because "it was only playing". Obviously kicking the cat isn't a solution but neither was the OP's non-response.

cushioncovers · 11/09/2019 08:27

Leno GrinGrin

DawgLover · 11/09/2019 08:32

You either missed or misunderstood the update. There was the initial incident and his reaction and then a second conversation after the fact where he repeated himself.

DawgLover · 11/09/2019 08:35

This was the post from last night:

Even when the situation had calmed down I asked him if he actually would kick her rather than an empty threat he had blurted out in shock. He said he would if she did it again.

latexsalesman · 11/09/2019 08:35

you with your savage mental animal

There's a special kind of stupid on mn today

Nonmerci · 11/09/2019 08:37

Humans do not train cats.

Very true, it’s impossible to train a cat. They do as they wish.

Your DS was being a dick, you did not overreact. He’s an adult, not a toddler.

thecatneuterer · 11/09/2019 08:38

Nonmerci - spot on.

And no, humans do not train cats.

Boysey45 · 11/09/2019 08:41

Well hes a violent bastard isn't he?
I wouldn't have him in the house again end of story. Why should your pet potentially get injured because of this twat? He could easily kill her or damage her internal organs with a kick.

DawgLover · 11/09/2019 08:44

Either way OP, one of them had to be removed from the situation until a solution can be found. As an adult, who doesn't actually reside at yours and with another place to go it makes sense for your son to go to his dads since its unlikely someone can take the cat before you go to work.

If his recent behaviour has taken a bad turn can you and his dad chat with him to figure out why?

PurpleFlower1983 · 11/09/2019 08:44

No you didn’t! He threatened to physically hurt your cat, he’s an immature arsehole.

Boysey45 · 11/09/2019 08:46

@partysong, Seriously are you for real or are you trolling?

Gwenhwyfar · 11/09/2019 08:47

I can't stand people who let their pets bother other people.

misspiggy19 · 11/09/2019 08:50

I would probably have threatened to kick the bloody cat too and have never hurt anyone in my life. If you don't love cats this is not cute or playful, it's unsettling, unpredictable and it hurts.

Look at all the precious people on this thread. Get a grip for goodness sake.

misspiggy19 · 11/09/2019 08:51

By the way I agree with the quote avove

BarbariansMum · 11/09/2019 08:51

Yes you are right @DawgLover I had totally missed the update.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 11/09/2019 08:54

Very true, it’s impossible to train a cat. They do as they wish.

Presumably you leave your cats to shit all over the house then, or do they magically decide to use a litter tray?

NeatFreakMama · 11/09/2019 08:56

You overreacted. My nan used to have a cat she insisted was 'playing' and it wasn't. When she was gone it would try to scratch and bite.