Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask son who was staying with me to leave for being awful to my cat

205 replies

Crystalcrazy · 10/09/2019 23:18

My son is in his early 20’s and has come to stay with me for a few days as he usually works away.

I have a two year old cat who likes to pounce on your feet when walking past. She’s not aggressive, it’s only playing.

Tonight I heard him shouting and went to see what had happened. He said the cat had chased him and tried to bite him and if she did it again he would kick her. I tried to explain she was playing but he was very angry and insisted he would kick her if she did it again.

At the point I said his behaviour was unacceptable and it may be best if he stayed with his dad who lives nearby.

He has now gone, I have text him to say I don’t want to fall out but no answer.

I honestly felt uneasy leaving him with her while I’m at work tomorrow. She’s a house cat so couldn’t go out.

Did I overreact?

OP posts:
thecatneuterer · 11/09/2019 10:10

@RavenLG lol. Well said.

Dandelion1993 · 11/09/2019 10:16

Do you normally put pets before your children

partysong · 11/09/2019 10:17

He didn't kick the shit out of the cat but if you'd like to keep on overreacting then do carry on Hmm

RavenLG · 11/09/2019 10:19

Do you normally put pets before your children
When children an adult man size child threatens to abuse and injure said pet? Yes I would.

It’s kind of worrying how many people think it’s ok to bring harm to animals, isn’t it the first sign of psychopathy?

RavenLG · 11/09/2019 10:20

Ok, I’ll just threaten them instead. Thanks for pointing out the error of my ways.

thecatneuterer · 11/09/2019 10:22

Do you normally put pets before your children He's an adult. He has been threatening. He has been asked to leave the house (where he was merely visiting as a guest). What a ridiculous question given the circs.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 11/09/2019 10:36

He didn't kick the shit out of the cat but if you'd like to keep on overreacting then do carry on

As you clearly can't read, while he didn't kick the cat, he threatened to and when OP asked him if he really would kick he said yes. Obviously to someone like you that's acceptable, but thankfully most normal people think animal cruelty is disgusting.

Aprillygirl · 11/09/2019 10:39

Do you normally put pets before your children

I hope to God you don't have pets if you think it's ok for your kids to assault them.

NeatFreakMama · 11/09/2019 10:52

Why is everything so black and white in MN?

The conversation is now pretending that people don't lose their rag and threaten stuff they don't do. If they do threaten to kick a cat now they're definitely psychopaths.

BarbariansMum · 11/09/2019 11:05

Aprilly I hope you don't have pets if you can't manage them. Or, if you cant, at least dont let anyone near them. I know it's a mind-blowing concept to the fur baby set but it is actually not ok to let your pets bother or hurt people you've invited into your home.

Aprillygirl · 11/09/2019 11:26

Aprilly I hope you don't have pets if you can't manage them. Or, if you cant, at least dont let anyone near them. I know it's a mind-blowing concept to the fur baby set but it is actually not ok to let your pets bother or hurt people you've invited into your home.

I'm no cat lover personally, but maybe OP doesn't want to 'manage' hers because, as she says. it is just playing. What should she do, lock the cat away all the time her son is there? Or should her son, as a fully grown man stop being a wuss and perhaps have fun with the cat instead of threatening to fucking kick it.

BarbariansMum · 11/09/2019 11:40

Yes, if he doesn't like the cat she should keep them separate. Or not invite her son round. There's no reason at all he should enjoy being bitten/clawed playing with her cat.

Aprillygirl · 11/09/2019 11:46

Yes, if he doesn't like the cat she should keep them separate.

And now she knows that he doesn't like the cat she is doing exactly that.

thecatneuterer · 11/09/2019 12:16

And now she knows that he doesn't like the cat she is doing exactly that. Grin well exactly!

Aprillygirl · 11/09/2019 12:26

grin well exactly!

I don't know what you're grinning at. If you were doing your bloody job properly all this would never have happened! Wink

thecatneuterer · 11/09/2019 12:38

LOL Grin

lvsel · 11/09/2019 12:52

No you didn't I broke up with guys because they tried to bully my cat

Doobigetta · 11/09/2019 12:56

RE training cats. You can train them to an extent. You can encourage behaviour they’re inclined to anyway- like using a litter tray. You can train them not to do things that result in punishment in front of you, but they’ll still do it when you aren’t there. And you can train them to do things you want in return for a reward- like high fiving for treats. But they’ll only do it when they want to, and human approval isn’t a big enough reward for them.
What you can’t do is suppress natural behaviour. Practising hunting is natural behaviour for a young cat. All you can do is try and direct the activity where it doesn’t hurt people- so outside on prey, or inside on toys. But even then you have to accept that moving humans are more fun for cats, and if you’ve got a lively one they’re going to be more inclined to do it. I’ve had both gentle and rough cats and I think that’s the result of nature, not nurture. Some of them are just more difficult to keep calm.

Plasebeafleabite · 11/09/2019 13:02

If you were doing your bloody job properly all this would never have happened

Every MN username has a story behind it but this is definitely more intriguing than most

cccameron · 11/09/2019 15:26

YABU. Your son said that the cat tried to bite him. Why would you automatically assume its playing. I bet he's glad he's staying somewhere else.

easyandy101 · 11/09/2019 15:36

All you people asking if it's pets before children:

Do you put your "children" (20s ffs) before normal human decency and behaviour?

Streamside · 11/09/2019 16:08

Perhaps it's best in the long run for him to be told by his own mother that animal cruelty is unacceptable. It is an offence and he sounds very immature.

Juog · 11/09/2019 21:07

No of course your not being unresnable, and to all those people that are saying you are well they must be crazy, it's your home your cat,and he's an adult that is quite capable of controlling his stupid hurtful childish behaviour, he has thrown his toys out of his cot and gone mardy like a small child, don't apologize to him as he knows what he's done is wrong.

NeedAJobQuick · 11/09/2019 21:36

Pets before beloved adult snowflake child - how dare you!! EVIL MOTHER

This thread is just hilarious. And so very MNy in its high and mightiness. No wonder the world is suddenly fully of over entitled millennials 🤔

MrMeSeeks · 11/09/2019 21:40

Yanbu, Anyone threatening to kick my cat would be kicked straight out the door.