A lot of people on Mumsnet are so horrible!

[Unusualusernames]

Is it just me or are there a lot of really nasty people who comment on Mumsnet?

I seem to come across more and more people who comment on quite innocuous posts to the tune of "get over yourself".

I'd get it if it was a controversial post but I often see this where someone has posted something they're obviously upset about. I just don't understand some people's mentality.

I think there's a lot of useful advice on here and I've been coming on here for years but I don't really get why people go on the internet to get into arguments or make unnecessary barbed comments. I find it really weird.

I'm thinking of deleting my account now because the levels of aggression and negativity don't rest well with me.

Definitely. It used to just be in aibu but I’m seeing it on almost every board now. People can be incredibly rude. The doghouse/cat litter tray are still pretty friendly.

I say on here what I would say in RL. That’s my yardstick to whether something I’m going to write is “nasty”.

I have a lot of friends.

I don’t always agree with everyone just for the sake of being “nice” because what’s the point? Unless someone is in dire need of support and in a desperate situation of course.

Agree with hiding AIBU. The site would appear completely different and I’m sure you’d enjoy it more OP.

I agree I got totally flamed for asking a genuine question. Got told to ‘educate myself’ - which oddly I was by asking the question in the first place
Some Very horrible people around

Just read a post from someone talking about her brilliantly boisterous son...

I thought her child sounded like awesome fun! oh ... and their cat too

lots of people giving her grief over gender etc, absolutely pathetic nonsense but (unintentionally) hilarious to read. Some people are just totally up themselves

There was once a troll here - very persistent - whose theme was 'you're all bitches'

I am nit saying you are that troll OP.

It was as if they had an agenda to denigrate MN, tell they should nit be using their authentic voices, and push the stereotype that women should be nice and sweet al, the time

Which of course we're not. We're everything, and too bloody right. So yes, there will always be someone who is a bit more aggressive, it has a been in their bonnet about a subject, or is a bit drunk or whatever. And that's all OK

YANBU. It's sad to see how spiteful people can be sometimes. The 'kick someone when they're down' mentality if rife here. The endless LTB responses over the most trivial things are also very tedious.

There are some things I would never post about on here because you're just not going to get sensible or understanding responses, just judgement that'll make you feel a million times worse. That said, I have also had some really good advice on difficult topics that I've not been able to talk to anyone else about in real life so it's not all bad.

There's lots of I hate this and I hate that negativity that I'm not too fond of. And people arguing with you and telling you you're wrong, rather than just giving their opinion to the OP. But there are also some really warm and sensitive threads. It's strange, I guess once one person gets aggressive you get a pile-on, maybe.

@joolzfromyork I think that might be the one OP is referring too.... I was awake in the night and read it and was a bit 😳

I once posted in Teenagers for advice for DD who was having difficulty using tampons.
I neglected to mention that DD was desperate to use them and I got slated for 'forcing' her in to something she wasn't ready for!
Really nasty comments. That was my first experience of people publicly denouncing my parenting, aside from the mooncup brigade weighing in with their two pennorth!
But I'm still here

This again?

There isn’t any need to announce your intention to leave.

It's nicer if you move away from AIBU.

There are an awful lot of fake posts on mumsnet, particularly on AIBU. The other day, my entire 'threads I'm on' list was deleted within a couple of hours because MNHQ had checked behind the scenes and they were either previously banned posters or suspicious in some way. Every single thread I had posted on that day.

Mumsnet is a huge target for trolls etc because a lot of people hate (mostly inadequate men), absolutely hate, the fact that it isn't in fact all about recommendations for nappies and nursing bras.

These people do not want women to talk without men's permission, and they certainly don't want women being told that they don't have to put up with miserable lives at the hands of men. They will go to any lengths to try to prevent it. Their tactic is to destroy this site. I've been here for almost ten years and it's clear they have driven people away in droves, threads don't move anywhere near as fast as they used to.

So when you see someone tearing a poster to pieces for ending up in an abusive relationship in the first place, instead of a no nonsense mature lady 'telling it like it is' you're probably actually reading a post from a 22 year old who is angry because he sees women as little more than animals yet is angry because women don't like him.

Women don't have to be nice all the time, and there is a place for plain talking. I certainly see a lot of posts where I think people are hugely unreasonable and very self absorbed. But when I see someone get a complete kicking from one or two usernames, I assume that the posters doing it are actually intent on driving that person away from the site. And if they can drive away one woman at a time and frighten all the others into staying quiet...

Very wise words isabellerossignol.

It's that time of the week again

When the arsehole behaviour isn’t pissing you off, it’s quite fun to “observe” just how hard some posters have to try to be both sneering and right. If you look at those threads not to see advice to the OP, but to see the “whataboutery” and sheer determination to be haughty, high handed and unpleasant it’s quite amusing. I imagine these types as so self-satisfied that it spills over into them talking about it in real life and people going

YANBU. It's often the same posters too. A lot disguise it as being blunt and honest which makes it even worse.

One person's direct honesty is another person's nasty. A lot of people dont understand the dynamic of abusive relationships so if someone posts about a seemingly tiny incident on aibu they get a very different set of answers than if they had posted on relationships. Some people totally miss the point which can seem like nastiness.

Personally I think my ability to articulate myself has massively improved from reading MN.

Someone up thread, said that at least 50% of all posts were fake....Surely this can't be true....how depressing

Wasn't exactly the same thread on here last week? Did you see that one (and the one before...). Why are you bothering to start another one?

There were a lot of bad threads a few weeks ago, end of Aug roughly, I think sometimes many users are on hols/ busy (term start etc) and you are left with a larger proportion of stirrers.

That’s what I like about Mumsnet (as opposed to the other place), you can tell someone to get a grip if they need to, and someone will tell me to if I need to.

It’s not all sycophantic hugs and huns.

If you think someone’s acting like a twat, tell them they’re acting like a twat.

If it bothers you, don’t engage. You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to (and in the case of a forum, you’re not even invited but initiate attending the argument)

Yes, shocked at the nastiness on here and also agree that most wouldn't have the nerve to be like that in person.
Being behind a computer/laptop means they feel they can get away with it. The most innocent of questions can be twisted by someone who just wants to cause trouble or be mean. It's exhausting.

People can be unneccessarily spiteful and personal on here. Not nice to see. We are all fighting battles, shame more kindness can't be shown. My thinking is, if you don't want it said to you, don't say it to someone else.

Ah, it’s a NestOfVipersTM. Has been for years, as a long time poster, you should know that.

It’s been a while since we had a ‘Aren’t Mumsnetters mean?’ thread. I suppose we were due one.

I hate it when people tell you your opinion is bollocks it's an opinion I'm entitled to it just like your entitled to be wrong