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AIBU?

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Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

772 replies

Hanny3 · 05/09/2019 10:52

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

OP posts:
Caselgarcia · 05/09/2019 10:57

Will you be able to support your baby on 1273 a month?

MulticolourMophead · 05/09/2019 11:01

First, check the amount he's offered, you can check this at Gov.uk

If this figure looks like it matches the rules, then he's not legally obliged to pay any more. If it looks like it's under the minimum, then you might want to put a claim in. Although, given his money, it might prove difficult to get more.

TheCatsACunt · 05/09/2019 11:03

He has no obligation to support you, just the child.

Use the CMS calculator to see what that actual amount is, and cross your fingers that he doesn’t suddenly become self-employed and reports a massive drop in earnings.

Also, be prepared for the baby to undergo a DNA test.

Crazycrazylady · 05/09/2019 11:03

I would think it's very unlikely you'll get more. You're also expected to contribute to your child's upkeep.

Kaykay06 · 05/09/2019 11:07

I’d accept what is offered tbh, it may seem unfair if he earns what you say but maintenance isn’t usually taken into consideration for benefits etc I have 4 kids and get £100 a month
So you could either get over 1k or nothing
I know what I’d choose

mmmcflurrys · 05/09/2019 11:07

YABU.

If you want to focus on your studies maybe it's not the right time for a baby. £1273 is a ridiculous amount of money! Please don't feel entitled to his fortune just because you are pregnant with his child.

Yellowpolkadot · 05/09/2019 11:07

Just had a look at the calculator and that looks about right. if you have a part time job then would you be ok?

LIVVI1234 · 05/09/2019 11:09

Obviously I don't know your details but a quick look at the CMS calculator says the £1273 is spot on for his income. I'd take it - I wouldn't risk him trying to fiddle the system and pay less.

PooWillyBumBum · 05/09/2019 11:09

I just plugged £15,000 a month into the CMS calculator - assuming he has the child 1 night a week - and it comes out at £1,090 a month. Which does sound reasonable for me for half the costs of bringing up a child in the UK.

The money is to support the child, not you. You’re responsible for the child too so should expect to pay too. You may be entitled to help as a student from the gov’t or perhaps he can help by taking the child a couple of evenings a week so you can get a part time job?

ffiffi8 · 05/09/2019 11:09

My friend gets £7 a week Envy count yourself lucky!

shas19 · 05/09/2019 11:09

£1273! That's more than some people get working! That's more that enough to support your child.

ellendegeneres · 05/09/2019 11:09

You realise a baby isn’t a get rich quick scheme right??

mmmcflurrys · 05/09/2019 11:11

You realise a baby isn’t a get rich quick scheme right??

😂

PooWillyBumBum · 05/09/2019 11:11

Sorry just read he wants nothing to do with the child, in which case the higher figures above are right. It’s a decent CMS payment - get it set up and get on with your life! As a student you probably won’t need full time childcare anyway so it should be doable with good budgeting.

ColaFreezePop · 05/09/2019 11:11

Be aware if he works with his dad and his other income is from his investments, he can make his earnings disappear as he won't be taxed under PAYE.

If you take him to court you will need to get lawyers plus forensic accountants to prove he actually earns that income. This isn't cheap.

Also as PPs have pointed out he only pays his share of your child's up keep. You are expected to support yourself as you are not married plus pay towards your child's up keep as well.

It would be in your interests to keep him sweet as you have a minimum of 18 years of dealing with him to live through. You are more likely to get money off him for things for your child and get him to pay for your child's things if you are agreeable and don't act like he's an atm.

GoldLeafTree · 05/09/2019 11:12

The money is to support the baby, not you. Would you be able to buy everything the baby needs with £1,200 a month?

ellendegeneres · 05/09/2019 11:12

And fully expect that (if this is even real and not made up) if you push it his dad to take him off the books and to get minimal if any money. Not a chance.
It seriously sounds like you want him to support your lifestyle not the baby, you are having an absolute laugh if you think a baby can’t be supported on nearly 1300 a month

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 11:13

I think you would be massively unreasonable to take him to court. Over 1200 per month just in maintenance is huge.

On top of your own wage / child benefit / tax credits if eligible you'll essentially have the equivalent of two wages or more than 2 wages.

All very convenient for you isn't it..

mmmcflurrys · 05/09/2019 11:13

As a single parent student, the university/college will pay for childcare and you will also get your benefits too.
I wish someone would give me nearly 1300 a month! The baby will cost at an absolute maximum £30 a week.

B3ck89 · 05/09/2019 11:13

I get £0 for my 2 boys and it’s been that way for over 10 years. Your being a twat, be grateful your getting a considerable amount of money each month, that’s what my partner brings home a month working full time

proseccoaficionado · 05/09/2019 11:14

£1200 for a baby is a great amount. But I'm talking about the baby, not yourself. You basically want him to support you AND the baby, which is unfair.

How long do you have left of your degree?

Bbang · 05/09/2019 11:14

You can more than support yourself and a baby on £1273 and you know it. You’re a full time student so maintenance will be disregarded so you’ll get the full entitlement to all financial aid. You will have absolutely no financial worries, stop being grabby.

You are expected to chip in and contribute to the cost of raising your own child too you know? Your studies are none of your ex’s concern and he certainly has no obligation to bank roll them.

B3ck89 · 05/09/2019 11:14

And hopefully he will request a DNA test

Bouffalant · 05/09/2019 11:14

But you're not entitled to spousal or any maintenance for yourself, it's only child maintenance. £1273 is loads to pay for what a child needs each month. Presumably you already pay rent and have somewhere to live?

OrangeSwoosh · 05/09/2019 11:17

£1270 is the equivalent of my monthly take home salary.

How much are you going to contribute on a monthly basis towards the upkeep of your baby?

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