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Original poster

Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

772 replies

Hanny3 · 05/09/2019 10:52

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/09/2019 11:31

Hawthorne that figure does seem to be the maximum any parent would be asked to pay via CMS... I just tried it with 100,000 pre tax earnings... same figure

LuckyLou7 · 05/09/2019 11:33

Just because he's wealthy doesn't mean he should support you while you complete your studies. Be grateful he is prepared to support his child, a lot of men simply walk away.

Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit · 05/09/2019 11:33

You realise a baby isn’t a get rich quick scheme right??

☝️Exactly this.

YABU to expect him to support your desire to continue with your studies. If you want to keep the baby then you may have to sacrifice your studies and CM is to support the child not you.

familycourtq · 05/09/2019 11:33

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court?
No-one on here can answer that properly. You need proper advice from a solicitor specialising in family law.

Redred2429 · 05/09/2019 11:34

I think that is a perfect reasonable sum he is supporting the child not you ! How long were you together op? I would accept this figure if I was you

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 05/09/2019 11:36

Id take the money! Start down the road of courts and god knows what he will do, if he works for his family I wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly got a "demotion" too.

Out of interest had the father not been rich what was your plan with a baby and your studies?

Idontwanttotalk · 05/09/2019 11:36

"If he works for the family business then I’m willing to bet that some clever accountancy could make his money all but disappear and you’ll end up with £5 a week instead.'
If he is an employee then no Accountant will be able to legitimately make his salary disappear. The ex himself may decide to go self-employed and then lie about or reduce his income. The company's Accountant has to comply with company law and has a responsibility for company accounts to reflect a true and fair view of the business. They also have a responsibility to behave properly and in accordance with the rules of their professional organisation.

hellsbellsmelons · 05/09/2019 11:37

@SillyMoomin he is willing to pay what is expected for the child.
The issue is the OP wants him to support her studies as well which he does not have to do.
If OP wants this baby and to study then she needs to look into benefits, student loans etc....
If she can't afford it with the child support and benefits, then she needs to get into work to support HER child.

HUZZAH212 · 05/09/2019 11:39

How much would you feel was reasonable OP?

Bluntness100 · 05/09/2019 11:39

Well no of course not. You weren't married, it's not his job to support you. I can't believe any one is daft or grabby enough to advice you otherwise,

viques · 05/09/2019 11:39

If you are really focussed on your studies you might want to pop into Student Health after the baby is born and ask them for help with understanding contraception.

MarthasGinYard · 05/09/2019 11:39

You may end up with less

I wonder if it's all declared if it's family he works for. You haven't know him long he may have just been giving it the large one to impress you.

I'd be very wary unless you have seen all his tax returns and wage slips etc

Banangana · 05/09/2019 11:39

If the OP is studying and has a job, her nursery fees could swallow up a lot of that money.

This is because she's chosen to have a child before she's in a stable financial position though. The father will be paying a lot more than half the costs of the child so any additional funds will be used to support and facilitate her. The OP's personal circumstances are neither here nor there considering they're not in a relationship and the baby wasn't planned so it's unlikely that they sat down and agreed he'd support her while she studied.

MarthasGinYard · 05/09/2019 11:40

Cross post sorry realised already raised

Original poster
Hanny3 · 05/09/2019 11:40

I should have added that I’m studying in London and need to get my own place. I now live in a shared house. As everyone knows rent in London is very high. So i don’t see how I could manage to do that without getting a part time job. I don’t have any family who lives close to London, so I would need childcare when working. I know I get support for childcare, but that would need to be used for childcare during the day. So working would be pointless since i would have to pay for childcare

OP posts:
timshelthechoice · 05/09/2019 11:40

Your a single parent so will also get your child tax credits.

Just a newsflash: there are no more tax credits. All new claims are Universal Credit and, within the next year or two, everyone will be moved onto UC.

angell84 · 05/09/2019 11:41

1273 is alot! That is like a full time income.

My Dad was ordered to pay 400 a month.

Do you see how lucky you are?

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 11:42

hanny3

what would you do if your ex wasn't rich?

sorry but where you choose to study isn't his problem.

It would be sensible to move to somewhere you have support.

MorganKitten · 05/09/2019 11:43

That’s more than some people take home, his money isn’t your business, he is paying what he needs to towards the child. You sound grabby and like a gold digger.

AryaStarkWolf · 05/09/2019 11:43

Sounds like you want him to support you aswell, he owes you nothing, £1273 is massive maintenance.

NoSquirrels · 05/09/2019 11:44

You asked, he said no. YANBU to wish that he would pay more because he is filthy rich, but in the eyes of the law he is supporting his child and does not need to pay more.

It will be 18 years at least of bringing up this baby and negotiating complicated matters like child maintenance. Just because he "doesn't want anything to do with the child" right now does not mean it will stay that way. Or alternatively just because he is paying £1273 CM every month now does not mean it will stay that way. Don't get off on the wrong foot - it is in your interests to avoid court, I say that kindly.

Over £1,200 a month is plenty to support a child. Having a baby will impact on your life a lot, and you can't reasonably expect him to pay for you to continue studying if you are choosing to have the baby - you can make other choices around part-time study, childcare etc to cut your cloth.

timshelthechoice · 05/09/2019 11:44

That's your lookout there, Hanna. He's under no obligation to pay for you to get your own place in London. You can share lodging with another lone parent (someone was looking for such a set up on here in the past week), work as a nanny with your own child, all sorts. He's made a generous offer. You will likely get less if you go to court. Courts expect the parents to support themselves and to each support the children they choose to bring into this world, child maintenance is for the child from the non-resident parent.

user1486131602 · 05/09/2019 11:45

Take the money offered, get a legal agreement for it.
Child maintenance is NOT included ( whatever the amount paid) in any benefit calculations here in the uk. Therefore, you should be able to cope financially. Good luck

Fabulousinmyforties · 05/09/2019 11:45

I think you would be crazy to go to court to get more from him, I would grab his offer by both hands.

Be prepared for him to reduce payments/resent paying later down the line, you can fight for more then if you need to.

But generally courts will offer very little to support your child - I have 3 children and at the moment get nothing from my ex, and that is with Child Maintenance Service involvement. Courts would be costly, stressful, and you could end up with far less.

whattodowith · 05/09/2019 11:45

Find a PT job now before your pregnancy becomes obvious. Save as much of it as you can and claim UC alongside it if eligible. Try to save enough to sort your own place. When baby is born you will receive UC without doubt and child benefit, his maintenance is enough to cover rent for a one bed flat in London for sure.

Student finance will give you a childcare grant.

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