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Original poster

Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

772 replies

Hanny3 · 05/09/2019 10:52

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

OP posts:
Genderfree · 05/09/2019 12:02

B3ck89

  • “And hopefully he will request a DNA test”

Totally unnecessary comment.

SillyMoomin · 05/09/2019 12:03

@hellsbellsmelons I was agreeing with you!

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/09/2019 12:03

gorris you're forgetting that he's contributing 50% for the babys upbringing

op should also be contributing 50% so actually over 2500 a month to bring up 1 baby IS money bags ahoy.

They don't cost that much.

Ceebs85 · 05/09/2019 12:03

I'd take it, he'll be able to pay for some dodgy advice and learn how to hide some money so courts won't be able to properly assess

NameChange05 · 05/09/2019 12:04

I could live off that Grin so would 100% take it. Coupled with benefits you should be more than comfortable

RolyWatts · 05/09/2019 12:05

Whilst maintenance may be about ensuring a parent pays for half of the upkeep of a child in situations like this it should be more.
He has washed his hands of a child he created meaning that OP will have to do 100% of childcare, take all of the available parental leave affecting her job or educational opportunities which in turn has a massive impact on her earning potential. If he is happy for her to do this then he has to be happy to pay for it. Alternatively parent the child 50 percent of the time in all ways and make the OP's chance of earning more equal.

RolyWatts · 05/09/2019 12:06

It's so depressing hearing all the "you should be grateful" comments. It's not a race to the bottom.

drivingtofrance · 05/09/2019 12:08

Maybe you can't afford to have this baby?

gorrisandhorace · 05/09/2019 12:08

I just don’t think it’s the enormous amount some people do. Babies grow in to kids, they cost bloody loads.

drivingtofrance · 05/09/2019 12:09

To add to my previous post - I became accidentally pregnant at 20. I was living in a shared house and didn't have secure work.

So I had a termination.

No second thoughts about expecting the father to fund me/us for the next 18 years.

It takes two to make a baby.

TheRebelAlliance · 05/09/2019 12:09

@therebelalliance interesting.She wasn’t married to him though?

No he was married to but separated from the mother of the step child (wife 2). He had previously been married to the mother of child 1 (wife1). He subsequently got back together with wife 2.

She was single and it was her 2nd child (co-parented amicably with father of 1st child who she had been in a very long term relationship with)

angell84 · 05/09/2019 12:10

@gorrisandhorace it is not huge if you are thinking of it is an income.

It IS alot as maintenence.

Most dads do not pay that much

tweebookworm · 05/09/2019 12:11

Would switching to a different university maybe be an option? Or maybe doing it online so you can move closer to home so you have your support network around you? the money he offered does sound fair and it seems unlikely you will get more.

If switching Uni or studying online is out of the question have you looked into working at home? You might also need to move to a cheaper area and commute into london for uni.

Wishing you the best of luck

plunkplunkfizz · 05/09/2019 12:11

You need to speak to a solicitor about potential top up maintenance and capital claims under Schedule 1 of the Children Act. You could even get some capital to start setting yourself up pre birth.

Ignore those saying just suck it up and be grateful because they only got tuppence ha’penny. If you could be entitled to more then you should pursue it out of duty to your baby.

Perunatop · 05/09/2019 12:12

Was your pregnancy a contraception failure? It is not clear why you would continue given your circumstances, but if you do decide to bring up a child without a father involved then the payment offered is appropriate. If you determined to get more out of exBF then you could ask for lump sums for specific items when needed, such as a pram.

RolyWatts · 05/09/2019 12:12

@Bonjourfreddie. This only adds up if both parents have equal earning opportunities. Which they don't... Because he has more time for work and self care, energy etc. He won't have to continually call in sick everytime the baby/child is ill or been up all night. He can spend his evenings researching, planning, being amazing at his job, while she will have to spend hers ironing uniforms, cooking dinners, making pack lunches, helping with homework, travelling to activities, reading bed time stories.

He will be able to work through, she will need to take annual leave to cover school holidays.

You see how it is not a case of both parents paying the same financially into a child, when one has decided to invest in no other way.

bluebluezoo · 05/09/2019 12:12

Whilst maintenance may be about ensuring a parent pays for half of the upkeep of a child in situations like this it should be more.
He has washed his hands of a child he created meaning that OP will have to do 100% of childcare, take all of the available parental leave affecting her job or educational opportunities which in turn has a massive impact on her earning potential. If he is happy for her to do this then he has to be happy to pay for it. Alternatively parent the child 50 percent of the time in all ways and make the OP's chance of earning more equal

swings and roundabouts a bit though isn't it?

If he has nothing to do with the child he pays more. The RP can use the money for childcare if necessary for her career and lessen the impact other earning potential. It also gives her the option to work PT or not at all, like many married SAHM.

If he did step up and parent 50:50, he isn't obliged to pay CM. So RP loses a significant income which can impact on her career choices. In this case particularly to match his 15k/month she'd need to have a fairly major, committed career.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 05/09/2019 12:12

q

Happyspud · 05/09/2019 12:13

He needs to support his child, not you. Just getting pregnant to a rich man doesn’t mean you’re entitled to anything. Your child is entitled to support though.

gorrisandhorace · 05/09/2019 12:14

@RolyWatts
Exactly.

RolyWatts · 05/09/2019 12:14

And really... Suggesting the op has a termination instead of expecting a man to pay for a child he half created. Disgusting.

Banangana · 05/09/2019 12:15

I just don’t think it’s the enormous amount some people do. Babies grow in to kids, they cost bloody loads.

It won't be enough for the child to live a lavish life full of luxuries (like the OP was probably hoping) but it's more than enough to meet the child's needs and a few extras.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 05/09/2019 12:16

Sounds like you might have to put your university studies on hold for a while, at least until your child is eligible for free childcare at nursery or in school.

LadyGodiva83 · 05/09/2019 12:17

Fucking hell. I get £120 per month towards our child from my ex. Having a fucking laugh you are. That's a full months wage. Greedy mare.

Original poster
Hanny3 · 05/09/2019 12:17

@plunkplunkfizz thank you. I hadn't heard of that act before. Definitely something I have to read more about!

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