Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

772 replies

Hanny3 · 05/09/2019 10:52

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

OP posts:
Banangana · 05/09/2019 11:17

£1,273 is more than enough to cover his half of the child's costs. If he's employed by his father it'll be very easy for them to manipulate the system and you may end up getting less than that.

BarbedBloom · 05/09/2019 11:17

He won't be expected to support you as you weren't married. If that is what he is legally obliged to pay then that's that really. If you suspect he earns more you could go to court but I imagine proving it would be expensive and if his family are rich, will likely be used to protecting that and able to get the best legal advice. As someone else said, they could just take him off the books completely

OrangeSwoosh · 05/09/2019 11:18

£1270 is the equivalent of my monthly take home salary

Forgot to add, on a 40 hour a week contract

PrimeMumister · 05/09/2019 11:18

If this is legit you should realise how lucky you are that he is agreeing to support the baby, so many parents don't want to or will do anything not to, that's a lot of money for a baby every month he has no obligation to help support you

PotteringAlong · 05/09/2019 11:19

£1273 a month is a huge amount of money! And you want more?!

QuarterMileAtATime · 05/09/2019 11:19

Yes child maintenance has an upper limit - on anything over around £120,000 income I think. It’s true that court applications can be made for more in certain circumstances, but I would have thought (speculating here) that would be more for separation later on, so if child is in private school and high-earning parent could be required to continue paying those school fees etc. From birth, with no changes to the child’s lifestyle, this amount seems fair to me.
(Not a lawyer though! Maybe seek legal advice?)

scittlescatter · 05/09/2019 11:20

His family wealth and personal fortune are irrelevant, as it is only his income that is counted.

Since he is willing to pay a good amount of child support, you would be wise to accept this. If you contest it, then he could easily hide his income.

It is also worth maintaining a good relationship if you wish to co-parent a child together.

As a single parent you would also be entitled to benefits based on your income solely, and child maintenance would be disregarded in this.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 05/09/2019 11:20

He’s not in any way obliged to support you while you study. The money is to support the child that you have together. His family also aren’t obliged to support you or the baby.

I’d be very grateful that he’s being so amicable and reasonable and take the money. If he works for the family business then I’m willing to bet that some clever accountancy could make his money all but disappear and you’ll end up with £5 a week instead.

Madfrogs · 05/09/2019 11:21

His going to be paying plenty it’s more than some peoples take home pay. If you can’t manage on that well then you have issues.

Philmitchell · 05/09/2019 11:21

OP has disapeared! Grabby.

OrangeSwoosh · 05/09/2019 11:22

You would also be entitled to financial support via student loans as a carer for a dependent

Idontwanttotalk · 05/09/2019 11:22

His maintenance payments for his share of the costs of raising your child are based on his income, not on any personal fortune or investments he holds. Based on income of £15k per month, he will be providing the correct amount.

How much do you think it will cost per month to raise a child? Why would you expect him to pay extra for 2 years?

You are supposed to support yourself plus pay for your share of the costs of caring for your child. If you cannot support yourself then you need to make a claim for benefits.

Just because he is wealthy doesn't mean you can milk him for his wealth.

SillyMoomin · 05/09/2019 11:23

As pp stated, the money is to help support his child.

user1493494961 · 05/09/2019 11:23

If he works for family a good accountant can minimise his earnings. Take what you've been offered, you won't get more.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/09/2019 11:26

He's supporting the child, not you.

hellsbellsmelons · 05/09/2019 11:27

Working out that he earns before tax, approx 21K per month - the gov calculator shows he should pay £1273 per month.
So he's already worked this out.
You won't get any more than that and he is paying what he should.
You need to accept that that is what the state deems he should pay.
Court won't change that!

Hawthorne12 · 05/09/2019 11:27

You say he works for his dad? so hopefully hes paying his taxes correctly if not he may be putting down lower income which would mean you wouldn't get what your thinking through the CMS also he isnt legally required to support you the amount they calculate is to cover everything for your child also does he have other kids he has to pay for? or just this one??

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/09/2019 11:28

So he's already worked this out. Or OP did and ....

Emmas1985 · 05/09/2019 11:29

Omg how much do you think a baby costs??? You got pregnant and your not with him, he’s not responsible funding your life only helping with the child. Your a single parent so will also get your child tax credits. I receive £160 pm which depending on time of year is generally fine to provide what my son needs. If I was him and his family I would be thinking you saw pound signs and got pregnant on purpose, especially now you are expecting stupid amounts of money off your ex. I’ll probably get a load of Mumsnet hate for saying that but hey ho!!

UndertheCedartree · 05/09/2019 11:29

You can get child tax credits and money towards childcare while studying. You will not struggle for money atall.

Micah · 05/09/2019 11:30

We have a family of four on £1700 a month.

£1200 just for the child seems plenty, and as others have said sounds about right for his income.

this money won't affect your benefits or student access to childcare, loans, grants etc. You should be fine, especially if you're living with family.

Even when you start work in two years that will more than cover ft childcare, so you won't have the financial strain until the child goes to school. Meaning you can build your career, pension etc, and long term be much better off.

Drabarni · 05/09/2019 11:30

If you provide the other £1270 baby will have a fair amount.

Hawthorne12 · 05/09/2019 11:30

Court run alongside CMS through GOV so would be what his income reflects :) would only take to court if he earns more then £3000 a week has CMS maxium is £3000 thats when you would after go to court if earna more then that

Missillusioned · 05/09/2019 11:30

Mm. While 1200 is a lot more than most people get, it's not a huge amount compared to his income. And ideally child maintenance shouldn't be to supply the bare minimum where the NRP is wealthy enough not to.

If the OP is studying and has a job, her nursery fees could swallow up a lot of that money.

I don't think you can legally go for more than the govt calculation states, but I would try and approach him and have a reasonable discussion about the possibility of a little more.

Just because some people have skinflint exes, doesn't mean we should be pathetically grateful when a man actually fulfils his legal minimum obligations to his child. That's the minimum!

whattodowith · 05/09/2019 11:31

Student finance will pay you a childcare grant so you don’t need to worry about nursery fees.

You will also get student loans and probably universal credit and child benefit. That level of maintenance is crazy, I wish I’d had my DC with a rich guy now 😂

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.