Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

[Hanny3]

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

That is the maximum.

Where people get more it is because the child has an established lifestyle (independent schools, nanny etc) and yours does not.

Well he has to pay for his child, the child maintenance calculator will give you the correct figure he legally has to pay.

However the fact your a poor student is of no relevance, he does NOT have to fund you.

You got pregnant you are 50% responsible, how did you plan to support yourself??? 🙄🙄 condors and the pill were invented to stop ending up in messes like this....

Maintenance loan for paying your rent and bills etc
Childcare you’ll get paid for
Plus £1273 a month for a baby which won’t cost anywhere near that much

What’s the problem? You clearly expect that this guy to be bank rolling you.
Newsflash: he is supporting his child not you

Yes, that is what you're entitled to. I wouldn't push for more money and ruin what could be an amicable relationship with him. He could easily hide his earnings if he wanted to (many men who are self employed or work for a family business do) at the moment he is being fair and upfront.

Babies are expensive and need a lot of looking after. Would it be possible to relocate closer to your family, or put your studies on hold until the child is a school going age? You are responsible for 50% of the costs of the child.

If you want this baby OP then you are going to have to figure out a way to support yourself.
Can you move your studies?
To a different Uni closer to family?
If it's not sustainable in London then you will need to reconsider.
You are having a baby and baby comes first.
You may well need to put your studies on hold until you are in a better position financially to continue with them.

Gosh it’s alright and you probably won’t get more but come on this is London. It’s probably just about right for what you need if you think about childcare expenses etc.
Yes men have paid bloody peanuts for kids for too long and some women get 75p a week for seven kids but that’s because there are lots of feckless men, not because women should learn to raise kids with no money.
Having a baby in London is bloody expensive.

Isn’t there just a massive national
problem with fathers suddenly declaring themselves self employed to fuck us all over?!

OP, presumably your choice to keep the baby was not made on the basis that the father was rich?

If the father was poor, and could only afford £100 CM a month, what would you do then?

Your life needs to change according to the circumstances you now find yourself in. You need new accommodation not a shared house - agreed. But if you cannot afford that in London, then you need to reconsider where you are studying (moving university to a place that has a lower cost of living or is nearer your family/support) or when you study (postponing until the baby is older) etc.

He is obliged to pay towards the costs of the child he helped create, as are you, 50% each. He is not obliged to subsidise your choices or keep your life the same.

It is hard, but that's how it is. If he's not willing to negotiate, then what will you do?

If he is wealthy/his family are wealthy, you could try asking for something that is not increased maintenance - perhaps they rent property, or would be willing to put a property in your child's name and allow you to live there? But all that is based on goodwill and he doesn't sound like that's forthcoming at the moment.

gorris yes, but its ops choice to do so. She could move closer to her family which would be the sensible thing to do. Not extort more money out of someone else just because they have it.

As everyone knows rent in London is very high. So i don’t see how I could manage to do that without getting a part time job. Well, you may have to make different choices. That is what happens when you get pregnant, in or out of a steady relationship.

He owes you nothing. He has been proactive, he has looked to see what he would have to pay and has told you that he will... that should reassure you, not lead you to lok at the rst of his earned money and want more of it!

Yes, it is shit, women get pregnant, women get left holding the baby. But women also make the final choice about that baby. You have to make different decisions.

Others have made some interesting suggestions about house shares, maybe one of those would work for you!

If London is too expensive then it may be a good idea to move to a university in a more affordable city closer to your family.

To add. A friend of mine (successful professional woman in her own right) had a child with a very high earning city chap.

He was divorced and already had 1 child and had 1 step child (which love with him). My friend got the maximum through the statutory calculation (based on him having 3 children) but no more.

He paid much more for his other children, it was judged that they had benefitted from his lifestyle and so shouldn't be deprived but the new child had never had that benefit and so the maintenance was agreed at the default.

She also didn't get the 3 years back maintenance whilst it was argued about through paternity tests and legal arguments (but that is another matter).

@therebelalliance interesting
She wasn’t married to him though?

You'll need to get yourself sorted before baby comes. What are you going to do about the deposit and fees on a rental property? Are you planning on staying at your house share until the maintaince comes through after baby is born? Will your current landlord let you stay with baby after coming out of hospital if you haven't sorted somewhere? I think you need to work out how you will do all of this pre baby as it's not like the money will land in your account the day baby is here. How are you going to fund all the items you need for baby before then if you aren't suggesting you get a temp job yourself now?

Oh ok sorry I read it wrong.

Time to get a job.

Is this a joke? Or are you boasting?
This can not be an actual problem

You are being extremely grabby and unreasonable. There’s no way you’ll get anything more than that.

Babies aren’t really that expensive, it’s probably the cheapest a child will ever be. If you breastfeed their food is free for six months and when they start to wean they don’t exactly eat much. Their clothes are cheap and you can find baby items such as pram and cot cheap on eBay.

It’s when they get older and start school that it becomes expensive.

I would absolutely not take him to court. He may all of a sudden find himself with much less income. Quite apart from that that is an extremely good amount of child maintenance and many people would bite his hand off for that. Most importantly it may sour relations between you forever. He may say now he wants nothing to do with the child but that could change at any point. far far better to have a decent relationship with him in case things change and to be honest they may well do

Should say, by that point you will have a degree and hopefully subsequent career so it will be ok.

It’s 1273 a month.
It’s hardly money bags ahoy
If she was nannying the baby she’d be paid more in London

This is unbelievable. It screams like a typical honeytrap. How long were you even with your Ex? Seems like you've fallen pregnant and are now desperate for the Dad to pay for your lifestyle.

You've chosen to study in London, you've also chosen to fall pregnant. I think you need to accept responsibility and accept the maintenance payment offered to you. Of course check whether it's correct being the maximum but equally you've chosen to fall pregnant and need to take responsibility.

My ex clears £7k a month and receive £2350 a month for two children and will do until youngest 18. Significantly above the minimum
Why? Because we were married as it was agreed in divorce settlement

In my city (not London of course) at least you could get a one maybe two bed flat in a good area, afford good food and have money left over for bills. You won't pay council tax as a student and you'll get over eighty quid a month in child benefit. You'll be fine. Some women have to fight their well-off husbands for every penny.