Child maintenance from rich ex boyfriend

[Hanny3]

I recently found out I'm three months pregnant. I'm no longer together with the father. I will be raising the child by myself as the father doesn't won't anything to do with the child.

He has said he will pay child maintenance. He's a very rich guy and comes from a very rich family. He said to me when where together that he earned £15,000 per month after tax (by working for his dad) and that he had other incomes from his investments. He also has a large personal fortune.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

My mom and my friends are telling my if I take it to court I would get more per month, and are encouraging me to do so. My ex on the other hand says I would get less if I take it to court.

So I was wondering if anyone knows if I would get more per month if I took it to court? And I'm I totally unreasonable if I think he should pay more the first two years while I'm a student?

It does cost loads to raise a child, and it shouldn't be a race to the bottom, and OP shouldn't need to be grateful that the father of the child will pay the minimum child support he is legally obliged to.

BUT

Having a baby is clearly a choice. It seems as if the father in this instance would be making a different choice to the mother. When the baby is born they are equally responsible for 50% of costs of upbringing. It's not going to be in anyone's best interests to force the father to pay more than £1,200 for a tiny baby, or to care for it 50% of the time when he is utterly uninterested in being a hands-on committed caregiving parent to that child.

The child's best interests are served by the mother getting herself into a stable situation where she can prioritise what is needed to raise that baby, as per her choice to keep the pregnancy. If the relationship with the father is strained at the very first hurdle, the outcome for the child over the long term is worse.

If he was poor... Would you have an abortion?
Because if you can't manage with 1200 a month maintanance, how would you do it otherwise?
1200 to support a baby is fair amount imho

@LadyGodiva83 just because your ex is so feckless as to assume that the cost of a weeks grocery shop is enough to feed clothe and house a child for a month , no need to insult other women for wanting more.

Even if you remove the "childcare" aspect, there are still myriad inequalities that will effect her earning potential that he should be compensating for. He pays more... My argument is against those who claim that maintenance should be half the cost of the child's expenses. My argument is that all of the above examples of inequality should be monetized. In business terms this would be called full cost recovery. Let's see how much she loses being a parent as well as how much it costs to raise the child - then he should pay half. Or of course he could step up and actually raise his child.

What would you do if he wasn't rich?

His job is to support his child - he has no obligation to support you or your decision to study. You chose to keep the baby, you now have to make choices that allow you to support yourself and your child.

If you can't afford to do that on the maintenance he'll pay, then yes, you will need to get a job - like most parents have to do!

I’m struggling to take this serious

I get nothing off my ex for my children so just have to cope without it, this posts can’t be serious

The problem the OP will have is the estranged father works for his family and it’s very easy to make money disappear.

I dont have 1273 a month just to raise my child...you're doing well. Quit while you're ahead.

I’m deadly serious @pumpkinp

This thread is a joke right 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

And really... Suggesting the op has a termination instead of expecting a man to pay for a child he half created. Disgusting

No one has suggested that he shouldn't pay. Even he's accepted that he will be paying whether he wants the child or not.

He has said he will pay £1,273 a month in child maintenance. He claims that is the maximum he has to pay according to law.

I'm a student and don't have much money. I have asked if he would be willing to pay more the first two years so I can really focus on finishing my studies. He said no.

What you are asking for essentially is spousal support. Of course he was going to say no.

You need to rethink your options.

I'd also tread really carefully with legal action. After all self employed fathers often pay themselves a minimal salary to limit their CMS payments. Legal action might well make him do that and you'll end up with pittance.

Having a baby is clearly a choice.
I'm teaching my children that the only choice you have in whether or not you are going to be having a baby, is the decision about whether or not to have sex. If you choose to have sex you may not have a choice in whether or not you become a parent. If he didn't want to either a) become a hands on equal parent to a child or b) pay for the women to raise that child then he should not have sex.

In business terms this would be called full cost recovery. Let's see how much she loses being a parent as well as how much it costs to raise the child - then he should pay half.

It is complex, though, because the "choice" to have a child wasn't his in reality. He didn't get a 50% casting vote on that.

They BOTH were responsible for contraceptive failure/decision to have unprotected sex.

The OP was the only one responsible for the decision whether to carry on with the pregnancy (which is as it should be, 100%).

As the OP took the decision on whether to become a parent, with its foreseeable impact on her career/life etc., then perhaps it is NOT fair to expect the father to then effectively pay her for that privilege.

I'd hope that no son of mine would act in the way this father (and many others) is doing. But equally I don't think it's as black and white as you imply.

Having a baby is a choice
Yes. A choice all men make with their dicks.
That’s the risk you take.

I think I'd ask him if he would be willing to also contribute to one-off expenses such as pram, school uniform (when the time comes) etc.
He might see that as reasonable, particularly if you don't ask for additional child support simply because you know how much he earns.
I'd keep him on your side as much as possible, rather than risk him 'going self employed'.
He might end up wanting to be involved in his child's life, so it makes sense to foster an amicable relationship from the beginning.

Bahahahahaaa I get £20 a week from my ex for my strapping 5'10 11 year old who eats us out of house and home! He needs to provide for the baby, not you. Move somewhere cheaper, there are other places to study.

I wasn't suggesting a termination because the man wasn't paying.

If I was the OP I would think that it was not the right time to be having a baby given all the other things going on in her life at the moment. Surely studying at university and not having a permanent, stable home isn't the best time to be a single parent?

It's not all about money - having kids is exhausting.

Why is this such a race to the bottom?

I wish I got even a quarter of that amount a month!!

Most men old enough to be having sex know that it might result in pregnancy and that no contraception is fool-proof. Having sex means you are making a choice to potentially have a baby. And therefore are responsible for the consequences.

If he didn't want to either a) become a hands on equal parent to a child or b) pay for the women to raise that child then he should not have sex.

He is paying for the child, though. He's not paying for the consequences of having a child on the mother's career/life etc. As she made that choice freely for herself (a different option is available in this country if a woman does not want the impact of motherhood on her life).

So what we’ve learnt from this thread is that most exes don’t pay enough in maintenance.
Some women who don’t get enough justify this by bringing other women down, calling them greedy for hoping for a liveable amount of maintenance.
What a load of bollocks.

Also no where has Op said she wants the father to subsidise her life. She wants him to invest in his child by allowing her to finish her studies so that she can manage financially in the future. This is entirely reasonable. There is no greed involved. I read a desire to be able financially support her child in the longer term.

You cannot get more because it's only for the child. More would be possible if you had been married as you would receive spousal support etc or if your child was already accustomed to a certain lifestyle prior to the break up (school fees, nanny, activities, holidays, tuition etc). In your case that amount is the maximum for now. You can however go to court later on when your child is older to attend school and ask for more in relation to certain things or as he appears reasonable directly ask him for more.

Why would you have a child at a time when you are studying, do not have an income and are living in shared accommodation? It's not his responsibility to provide for you. It is however his responsibility to provide for his child which he seems to be having no problems doing.