AIBU to be pissed off with these school mums?

[Akiddleydiveytoo]

DD1 is in yr8 and about 3 weeks before the end of last term a letter was sent home to inform parents that, as a result of uniform standards dropping over the last few years they were going to start enforce the uniform rules more vigorously in the new school year. As part of this we were told that jeans, leggings, jeggings and skinny trousers were no longer going to tolerated and anyone in breach of these dress codes would be placed in isolation until the acceptable uniform was brought into school to change into. As well as the letter home this message was subsequently emailed to parents, put on Facebook and Twitter so people could not fail to see it in one form or another. It was made VERY clear that only tailored trousers (or skirts) would be allowed.

Over the school holidays there were a number of posts on the parent's Facebook page asking for recommendations on where to get trousers from. Lots of parents responded with links to skinny trousers. I (and some other parents) pointed out that these were no longer allowed but the responses were always 'well my older DD always wore them and she's never been told off' or 'DD will only wear skinny trousers' or 'the tailored trousers just don't look right on DD, she's too skinny' etc.

Anyway, first day back today and, as predicted, a LOT of warnings were given out to girls in skinny trousers/leggings. Instead of going straight to isolation, however, as the letter said, they were given a yellow slip to take home to their parents and given until Monday to sort out the correct uniform.

Cue a torrent of outrage on the parents Facebook page. Emails, letters, phone calls to the school to say how outrageous it was and how they'd spent a fortune on these trousers and how they weren't prepared to buy anymore. Giving any excuse under the sun why their DDs can't possibly be expected to wear proper tailored trousers etc.

AIBU to be really pissed off with these parents? They were given at least 9 weeks notice of this and the consequences for not conforming were made very clear, they just didn't feel as though the rules applied to them. OK, they might not feel as though uniform is all that important for learning but if the school imposes a (reasonable) rule you follow it right? It would have cost them just as much to buy tailored trousers as it would skinny. What example are they setting their DC if they're teaching them they can just ignore rules that they don't like?

What on earth does it have to do with you? I can't see why it upsets you so much. It's bizarre.

Sounds like the parent I heard at the school gate who had told their child to ignore all the uniform rules as it didn’t affect their learning. Bet the school loves her.

Glad the school are enforcing it (Not that I particularly agree with the rule). People who think the rules don't apply to them piss me off no end.

Well it doesn’t affect their learning 🙄

I get it OP its the same sort of entitled attitude that makes these parents park/stop dangerously blocking pavements and roads. The rules don't apply to them or their precious special snowflakes.

YANBU.

Ugh, I'm beginning to think a load of mum's together - school or otherwise, are just programmed to moan moan moan! It's so tiring! My new school year resolution is to try and ignore it all as it also does wind me up even when it's got nothing to do with me directly!

What does it matter of the trousers are skinny ? Really, what does it matter?

It doesn't affect their learning but what does it teach them? If they get a job and have to wear a uniform are they going to decide what they will wear? No of course they aren't. The bottom line is it is about respect. Something that seems to be dwindling year by year.

Yanbu at all - I work with these young people after they leave high school and the sense of entitlement from some is breathtaking. Can usually be traced back to parents who always thought that their child should be the exception to ANY rule

AIBU to be really pissed off with these parents?

Yes, because what they dress their children in had nothing to do with you.

Not unreasonable to consider them idiots though.

My DS’s school were really strict on uniform, and having the equipment they needed for school. The slightest violation, as they called it, would trigger detention. Girls skirts were a big issue, they have switched to pleated kilts now, much more difficult to take up!

I know lots of parents like that, they or the child don't do what they are supposed to do and it is everyone else's fault when it goes wrong.

I hate the fashion for skinny trousers, they don't fit every child but they dominate the choice in shops.

It is irrelevant if people think the trousers don't affect learning, rules are rules and this is one where there really isn't any need to break it.

I would be pissed off if I had spent money and gone out of my way to conform to uniform rules and others weren’t bothering and seemed to be getting away with it.
Affecting learning? No. But the sort of entitled and stroppy individual that thinks the rules don’t apply to them generally disrupts everyone’s learning by arguing with the teacher and generally being a PITA.

Some people have to feel like they operate outside the rules.

There are parents like this at every school. Let them moan. If the school knows what it is doing then they won’t let them affect the policy.

Our state secondary says we have to have a specific style of trousers blazer etc from a specific uniform shop. It costs quite a bit and M & S would be cheaper, but it is quite strict and everyone just gets it.

I’m not entirely sure why you’re pissed off; they’ve got the consequence of their actions

YANBU OP, one of those 'sad face' photos of someone in a local paper put me off one school.

We have a few failing schools in our areas that have been academ-ised, and a couple have changed their skirts to kilts. Never thought of them being less customisable!

I am so glad I no longer work on this side of things in school..... hours and hours of my time was spent following up ridiculous uniform transgressions and dealing with angry/outraged students and parents and all the paper work that went with isolation and exclusions because someone's trousers were not tailored. Bloody nightmare. I just cannot see why schools make such an issue out of uniform. I work in a different school now where it has a much more relaxed uniform policy [kids still look smart] and some of the highest GCSE results in the county. I get the whole rules thing blah blah blah but some schools really do make a rod for their own back with this nonsense every sodding year. At the end of the day no, it doesn't affect their learning and yes it is still possible to instil a sense of responsibility and respect without constantly resorting to rules on the style of trousers a student is wearing.

Some people seem to use it as a way to bond with their child in a you and me against Big Bad Teachers way. It's a hiding to nowhere.

They’ve got it wrong. Now they need to buy a second set of uniform. Their problem.
Unless you are school staff, I wouldn’t get involved

Why do you care? I assume you followed the rules and your daughter didn’t get a yellow slip? Some people are idiots this is the way of the world. Ignore and move on.

I disagree that it doesn’t affect learning. I was the kid at school who had the cheap shirt not the ‘cool’ slightly more expensive one all the popular kids wore. I had the regulation tailored trousers, the sensible shoes, while the popular kids subtlety managed to differentiate themselves with the shoes with a slight heel, the skin tight trousers. I was an easy target, easy to spot, easy to find something to rip the piss out of because I wasn’t dressed in the ‘fashionable’ uniform. It certainly had a detriment on my MH and subsequently my learning.

It may not seem like a big difference to adults, but if it’s significant to the kids then there’s a reason for that, and it’s not a good one.

Some schools do have stupid rules. Some parents are idiots who cannot follow the most basic of instructions.

Just sit and watch it all unfold and laugh.

OK, maybe pissed off might be too strong a sentiment. More irritated at their sense of entitlement and the sense of entitlement they are installing in their kids. As to what business is it of mine. Their DC are in the same classes as my DD. What lesson is that teaching my DD when she can see others breaking the rules and getting away with it? Also, the disruption in class caused by these DC thinking they can do what they want cos mum will always back them up.

Whether you agree with the rule is irrelevant. There are lots of rules I have to follow in work, I can't just disregard them cos I don't like them (well I could but I'd find myself unemployed as a result).

As for uniform not being important, maybe we should apply that to adults who have to wear uniform as part of their occupation? After all wearing jeans doesn't affect a policeman's ability to catch criminals, what a nurse wears doesn't have any bearing on how well she can tend to a patient...